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I’ve been single all my life

lukasrosenstock.net

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Re: I’ve been single all my life

#51

Post by IndigoIncognito »

mr_mitm wrote: post #32
CoolioMqSo wrote: post #26

I felt like I had to say this FYI This guy isn't ugly, actually average looking 30yr old white guy, isn't short, is socially active. I honestly have no idea why this guy is still a virgin, im pretty sure he could find someone on a dating app if he got in shape.

Maybe he has psychological issues. For example, people with schizoid personality disorder tend to be single because they have trouble connecting with people.

Thats what I was thinking, I really doubt it, he seems like a really nice guy and he speaks/ posts online in a "neurotypical" manner, however neurotypical people usually don't talk about their virginity on a blogpost lol

Still baffled that he is a virgin, especially at his age, maybe someone in a relationship can give him advice, he has a twitter

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#52

Post by 3m »

>Also, if it doesn’t work out, I’m scared of leaving a broken heart in another person. This is a telling statement. It really highlights his inexperience and immaturity with regards to relationships (not that this is in doubt - it is after all the subject of his post).

Being the cause of, and the sufferer of a "broken heart" is a formative experience. There's nothing like healing a broken heart to teach you that actually things get better, and it wasn't right anyway. There's nothing like the fear of hurting someone else that will trap you in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship for far longer than it should have. When you finally summon the courage to end it, knowing it will hurt someone else - you immediately feel the freedom, and the other person's journey to healing begins too.

I find it hard to understand people who make a mountain out of dating. It's a numbers game, and there's a gazillion ways to meet people.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#53

Post by carbine »

jakeva wrote: post #7

I haven't been single all my life, but the relationships I have had have taught me things that makes it easier to be single. I remember the good times fondly, but the bad times remind me why being single isn't so bad.

I'm a woman and have had long serious relationships and long-ish stretches of being single. Took me a while to filter through all the social pressure BS and realize that, on balance, I have been way (WAY) happier single. Maybe this could change one day? But right now I have no interest in changing it. It'd take someone extraordinary. I'm not 'poly' or 'asexual' or any of that crap, I've just had to give up so much of my time and energy for relationships that ultimately left me worse off in every way. By contrast, on my own I can do what I want with my time and energy, and I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and family.

If we put less social pressure on people to pair bond, some non-zero percentage of the population would be genuinely happier.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#55

Post by kube-system »

majormajor wrote: post #41
kube-system wrote: post #25

> The obvious course of action when you are unsure about something is experimentation. However, a relationship isn’t an activity (like a job, hobby, or sport) to try and quit when you don’t like it. It requires two people, and you must find a second person willing to try. Finding someone is hard, though. This brings me back to what I said a few paragraphs ago; I don’t see myself ready to invest much in something I’m…

Even if you take the "starting a relationship" path (e.g. online dating to meet people) you really shouldn't be afraid of breaking someone else's heart. Assuming you don't break someone's heart by betraying them or some other awful action, taking responsibility for a broken heart is putting way too much responsibility on yourself, and not respecting other people's agency. It's also going to probably sabotage your att…

I agree, I just wanted to give an "easy option" for someone who sounds like their fear of the process is keeping them from trying at all.

I didn’t read it as someone who is not respectful of others agency as much as it might just be someone who is comfortable being alone and avoidant of inconvenient social situations.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#56

Post by all2 »

nvarsj wrote: post #19

I guess I've been a "volcel" for almost 4 years now after an almost 20 year relationship. I have pretty mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I get lonely, intensely lonely at times. And I miss the companionship I had (before it got awful.) On the other hand, I have so much time now to just focus on myself and my kids and my career and hobbies and my mental well being. I've increased my income a lot in the last y…

> On the one hand, I get lonely, intensely lonely at times. And I miss the companionship I had (before it got awful.)

I know the feeling, though perhaps not so deeply. My LTR was only 7 years.

> Dating seems dire these days as well.

Depending on your religious moors, you might consider hitting some conservative churches.

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#57

Post by carbine »

mmcgaha wrote: post #49

I am recently divorced and I don't see myself ever in another relationship. I would consider a partner where we live in different homes and don't share any expenses or responsibilities but I doubt any woman would accept that as a permanent arrangement.

don't be too quick to assume, i'm a woman and that sounds great ha

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#58

Post by IndigoIncognito »

hexo wrote: post #50
hammyhavoc wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Working on yourself will lead you where you want to go. Wishing you health, happiness and peace, and the same for anybody else reading this.

"Working on yourself will lead you where you want to go" sorry, but this is one of the worst lies ever.

Given that this guy has the ability to obtain a partner in the first place, it probably will for him

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#59

Post by jjtheblunt »

CoolioMqSo wrote: post #26

I felt like I had to say this FYI This guy isn't ugly, actually average looking 30yr old white guy, isn't short, is socially active. I honestly have no idea why this guy is still a virgin, im pretty sure he could find someone on a dating app if he got in shape.

he might have watched parents bicker endlessly and have internalized a "no thanks" sort of skepticism?

Re: I’ve been single all my life

#60

Post by kelipso »

hexo wrote: post #50
hammyhavoc wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Working on yourself will lead you where you want to go. Wishing you health, happiness and peace, and the same for anybody else reading this.

"Working on yourself will lead you where you want to go" sorry, but this is one of the worst lies ever.

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