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Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

every.to

61–70 of 164 posts

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#61
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yep. As a HF mentor used to tell me - Wealth buys optionality. Variance is the outcome.

I agree wealth buys optionality, but regarding variance wouldn't that imply wealthy people have better and worse outcomes than nonwealthy people, who would have consistently middling outcomes? That doesn't really match my observations.

wealthy people don't talk about the massive losses, only their massive gains.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#62
post #57
post #55

On the one hand, sure, status probably is a trap and won't bring "true happiness." And I think this is well meaning advice. But on the other hand, I think it's possible that an Ivy League educated founder/VC partner/executive coach might not be in the best position to see the whole picture. To paraphrase the Aviator[1], you don't care about status because you've always had it. I think that for many people who have ex…

>I think that pursuit of status is a rational way to increase security. I agree, I would recommend increasing security as the priority, not status. Status doesn't pay the bills necessarily when the recessions hit, security does. If you can get security without status, that's better than status without security.

Agree, and the best security is obviously money. But to me, status means warm intros for new business opportunities, or that your resume will reliably get past the recruiter screening stage. Stuff that can help you maintain or rebuild security.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#63
Status is an intermediary step between behavior and true goals. In some cases status might be an effective part of the path in actualizing the real goal (for example, community organizing). In many cases status distracts and becomes a goal of its own, much like money and pleasure tend to do in our lives.

As a personal exercise I find it useful to trace my behavior to end goals (and back the other way), and then disregard false goals/traps while problem solving other obstacles.

I suspect the common real goal on the other side of status from one’s behavior is to be loved. All humans share this goal with widely varying strategies, and some of those strategies expose the individual to the status trap. The most effective means to overcome this trap is to accomplish the real goal, and in the case of being loved one convenient solution is to appreciate the people in our lives, from acquaintances to close family. From appreciation comes kindness and openness, and from there we experience love and feelings of belonging. Status then becomes either irrelevant, or a tool one can now effectively wield.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#64

When you look at individuals who have achieved things you admire, it's so often true that they themselves came from outside the status system that existed at that time. They now sit within, or atop the current one, but it's often something they themselves have created to a greater or lesser degree. There's a huge lesson there, I think. Being in that position in the current status system is not and never was their goa…

Ibn Khaldun's 1377 work Muqaddimah is a very old book that essentially says this.

The concept of "ʿasabiyyah" (Arabic: "tribalism, clanism, communitarism", or in a modern context, "group feeling" , "social cohesion", "solidarity" or even "nationalism") is one of the best known aspects of the Muqaddimah. As this ʿasabiyyah declines, another more compelling ʿasabiyyah may take its place; thus, civilizations rise and fall, and history describes these cycles of ʿasabiyyah as they play out.

Ibn Khaldun argues that each dynasty has within itself the seeds of its own downfall. He explains that ruling houses tend to emerge on the peripheries of great empires and use the unity presented by those areas to their advantage in order to bring about a change in leadership. As the new rulers establish themselves at the center of their empire, they become increasingly lax and more concerned with maintaining their lifestyles. Thus, a new dynasty can emerge at the periphery of their control and effect a change in leadership, beginning the cycle anew.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muqaddimah

From studying history a bit, I do agree that it's striking how often new powerful civilizations are formed from groups of people that existed on the periphery and had very little institutional power a generation or two beforehand. The Mongols, the Ottomans, and Napoleonic France are just a few examples.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#65
post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree wealth buys optionality, but regarding variance wouldn't that imply wealthy people have better and worse outcomes than nonwealthy people, who would have consistently middling outcomes? That doesn't really match my observations.

wealthy people don't talk about the massive losses, only their massive gains.

Massive on an absolute basis? Sure. Is Bill Hwang going to live the rest of his life in poverty after losing billions? I doubt that very much. (Perhaps a poor example, seems like Hwang is facing charges.)

Not really something I'm interested in having an extensive debate about though. The reason I asked is I suspect the metaphor means something different from how I've interpreted it.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#66

My inner ring trap is retirement. I can’t wait to get there.

Until you go golfing one time, and are like omg wtf how do people retire, because I’m bored? I say that because that’s what many i know have realized once they (we) didn’t have to work. I suspect the personality of engineering types likes puzzle solving, and is inclined to find some class of puzzles to “work” on.

That's when you start woodworking or tinkering.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#67

When you look at individuals who have achieved things you admire, it's so often true that they themselves came from outside the status system that existed at that time. They now sit within, or atop the current one, but it's often something they themselves have created to a greater or lesser degree. There's a huge lesson there, I think. Being in that position in the current status system is not and never was their goa…

“Things you admire” is an extraordinarily broad category, so yeah, you probably could.

But within the world of VC-backed tech companies, I do think “traditional” status markers are still very influential, and that when you dig into the About pages, the majority of founders/investors/current-high-status individuals come from high status backgrounds.

A Yale degree is not the end-all be-all, and “Ex-Google” is not a magic key. But I do think it’s important to acknowledge that a lot of people in tech (myself included!) benefit from very, very privileged backgrounds.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#69

> I experienced this myself when running my first company. We had been bootstrapping for a year when a competitor entered the space and raised $10 million. This brought up a lot of insecurity....Comparing myself to them, I felt like an outsider—like we were missing something or approaching the business wrong. I can see how status would be at play here, but if I were a founder whose market had just been crashed by a c…

> I'd be concerned that having a well-funded competitor would make life much harder. That's certainly true for things that you can buy with a lot of money, such as marketing. On the other hand, having such a competitor forces you to think really hard about how to help customers and what makes your company different.

Yes, and having a competitor can also help draw attention to a sector. But I would say my primary feeling about the situation would not involve status. It would involve increased competition and strategic disadvantages.

Re: Pursuing status will never bring true happiness

#70
Status seems like a 'zero sum game'. For me to win, you have to lose. There are a lot of other things where everyone can come out better off, but status is all relative.

Kind of like sports, where maybe both teams play really well, but only one is going to win. But at least that's just entertainment at the end of the day.

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