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Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

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Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#161

Post by dahfizz »

Draiken wrote: post #128
tyoma wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve also been working from home and very glad to have been there for my kids when they are young, but highly productive are not two words I’d use to describe the experience. I guess my time management and prioritization skill have improved by necessity, but the lack of uninterrupted quiet time is real.

Sure maybe having kids around might sometimes affect your productivity, but how is that any different than being in an open office? Phone calls, people talking around you, movement everywhere, unwanted taps on your shoulder and a lot more. Unless your job provides you with a closed office where you can actually focus on, it's pretty much the same as having kids around. When I worked in an office I remember the most p…

Do you have kids?

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#162

Post by fatnoah »

jossclimb wrote: post #12

I have been remote for 11 years now and have two children 9 and 12. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm, we would have lost out on so much bonding time with their daddy being an integral part of their life. I managed to be highly productive, build a career, yet be there for bath times, tucking into bed, school plays / sports days, nursing…

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm

I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, one weekend day had to be devoted to home/yard maintenance in the summer.

Before he started kindergarten, my wife and I decided that's not how we wanted to live our lives, so we sold the house and went back to renting w/a 2 bedroom apartment back in the city. My commute was 30 minutes, if I walked, with my son's school about at the halfway point of the commute. I was able to walk my son to school daily, and leave my office at 5pm and get to the sports fields at 5:15pm to coach sports. As a bonus, no house or yard to take care of meant both weekend days were also free. No regrets.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#163

Post by yulaow »

sgtnoodle wrote: post #140
tyoma wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do. But not like its sound proof. And sometimes your partner just needs help. And other times your kids stop by and ask for something. You can say you’re “at work” as much as you want, but you’re still at home. And yes, I am sure once everyone is at school for a big chunk of the day it all gets much easier.

Indeed. We have a 5 month old and a 4 year old, and my wife broke her leg with a compound spiral fracture two months ago then subsequently developed vertigo and hearing loss from unexplainable inner ear damage. I can't say preschool has helped us out much, either. After the whole family became violently ill from a preschool norovirus, I've now been plagued with an upper respiratory infection going on 20 days or so. I…

This sounds more like a problem of your country culture of not encouraging to take sick days. I would have been on sick leave for all the time needed to not have sleeping problems anymore

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#164

Post by mariojv »

I've been suspicious that the post-pandemic era will yield a new baby boom of sorts.

It's probably too soon to see it in broad demographic data, but just in my group of friends, it seems like almost all married couples except those who had previously committed to definitively stay child-free are having kids. One third of the people under my direct manager have either taken parental leave since mid-2021 or are planning to take it soon.

Maybe this is just an artifact of my age and demographic situation, given I just turned 30 and know a lot of remote workers. It will be interesting to see if there really is a boom or not a few years out. Maybe as the article mentions, it's an artifact of remote work.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#165

Post by rhino369 »

txsoftwaredev wrote: post #155
_ktx2 wrote: post #141

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc To spell the quiet part out loud here, what you're describing is an extreme privilege in a world where homes near tech campuses often go for $1M+. New fathers aren't going to have a down payment for even $600k+. Tech at this point starts as a rich persons game which is why so many tech workers intermarry with other wealthy people. It takes two or a trust fund…

I lived in a home no where near that expensive in DFW and commuted 45-60 mins each way when my kids were young. Plenty of places you can work in tech and not own a million dollar house. Even still so today.

45-60 minutes each way is a pretty bad commute.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#166

Post by prewett »

_ktx2 wrote: post #141
alistairSH wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm FWIW, I commuted through most of my son's childhood. I still made it home for those things you list. But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc. I certainly wasn't gone 7am-7pm. Even with 60 min of driving and 60 min for lunch, that's an 10 hour day.

> But, it did take optimizing house location/commute, etc To spell the quiet part out loud here, what you're describing is an extreme privilege in a world where homes near tech campuses often go for $1M+. New fathers aren't going to have a down payment for even $600k+. Tech at this point starts as a rich persons game which is why so many tech workers intermarry with other wealthy people. It takes two or a trust fund…

Using "privilege", with its connotation of inherited wealth, and applying it to a profession that pays well above average but is open to anyone--the opposite of inherited wealth--is kind of rhetorically dishonest. Disingenuous at best.

It's also out of context, which was that two tech parents were discussing having time for family. There's a strong correlation between expensive homes near tech campuses and tech jobs at tech campuses paying over $150k/yr for someone out of undergrad (if HN reports are correct). And besides, optimizing your location includes choosing both job and location; there are tech jobs that are not in expensive locations, and spending most of one's money on an expensive mortgage to buy free time for family is also an option.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#167

Post by bubbleRefuge »

Remote since 2016 . 20+ years in software. Single father with full custody of 2 kids who were 13 and 8 when i went 100% Remote. Its a Godsend . When I don't have my kids, I travel and work in exotic places (digital nomading) where I can have a jet set social life. This limits corporate ascension but I think its worth it. Find time to exercise and do projects on the side. Given this, I still pull late nighters to get stuff done at work. Can't imagine giving up this life for a 2 hour commute and becomming a renter in some tech hub. But, I have many contemporaries who have higher status jobs than me in the industry, so I guess there is that.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#168

Post by fnordpiglet »

fatnoah wrote: post #162
jossclimb wrote: post #12

I have been remote for 11 years now and have two children 9 and 12. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm, we would have lost out on so much bonding time with their daddy being an integral part of their life. I managed to be highly productive, build a career, yet be there for bath times, tucking into bed, school plays / sports days, nursing…

> I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm I can, because I lived that life. My wife and I moved from 1 bedroom apartment in the city to a house in a suburb ("only" 10 miles away) and the only time during the week I was able to spend much time with my child was 7am-8:30am before school. By the time I got home, he was going to bed. Generally, on…

Now imagine if you had been able to have it all, the only cost being management not being able to see your bag of mostly carbon water physically respirate.

I love having a house and yard, and never having to pollute the environment to shift my bag of carbon water to do the same work worse somewhere less adapted to my being. There will come a time when passions die about RTO and companies stop paying for real estate simply to improve profits for those that don’t need to be collocated. “Culture” and other malarkey will matter not at all once passions die, the current management retires, and the bulk of workers went to college and high school online.

Then children will have their parents again.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#169

Post by awb »

jossclimb wrote: post #12

I have been remote for 11 years now and have two children 9 and 12. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm, we would have lost out on so much bonding time with their daddy being an integral part of their life. I managed to be highly productive, build a career, yet be there for bath times, tucking into bed, school plays / sports days, nursing…

15 years fully remote for me and 3 kids.

The lunchtime breaks were my favorite, getting to see how their day was going and help out or share a quick laugh.

It really was and still is priceless for me.

For anyone starting out, I highly recommend trying to be home as much as possible in your kid’s 1st 5 years before they make strong friendships and when you’re their mentor and best friend.

Re: Early Remote Work Impacts on Family Formation

#170

Post by ghaff »

rco8786 wrote: post #90
jossclimb wrote: post #12

I have been remote for 11 years now and have two children 9 and 12. I can't imagine what it would have been like if I had spent the week out commuting between the hours of 7am to 7pm, we would have lost out on so much bonding time with their daddy being an integral part of their life. I managed to be highly productive, build a career, yet be there for bath times, tucking into bed, school plays / sports days, nursing…

I've been remote for 4 years with a 4 and 2 year old and....same. Generally more productive work-wise and can't imagine going back to commuting 30-40m each way as I did previously (which isn't even a "bad" commute). And the additional time with the family is irreplaceable. My company's local office is open, and I do go in 2-3 times a month for various reasons (which I also enjoy as a change of pace). But every time I…

Judging by rush hour traffic, tech is something of a bubble. As far as I can tell, commuting traffic is back to pre-pandemic levels as far as I can tell.
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