I'd break college programs down into undergraduate and graduate divisions, and divide schools up based on admission price tag. Some issues:
1. The more expensive the school, the more likely it is to be something like a British public school for the inherited wealth class. Interestingly graduate programs are often somewhat neglected at such institutions, and they're not generally great research centers. Basically it's about hobnobbing so you can get a job at your pal's parent's hedge fund or whatever. (#2 on your list)
2. The cutting-edge research universities have inverted that model. Undergraduates are packed into huge auditoriums and taught by adjunct professors with the help of overworked grad students whose professors can't afford to pay them as a lab tech / research assistant. Here it's all about getting the big grant and publishing new research. Students who can negotiate this system successfully can get excellent technical education and experience at the upper-level undergrad / grad student level in fields like CS, biotech, engineering etc.(BS/MS). That's #1 on your list.
3. There's another category of student that benefits from the cheaper state schools, and that's due to high schools in the USA being woefully poor at providing a basic education. These schools - community colleges and state schools - generally have a two-year progam that does little more than revisit material that high schools failed to teach, like reading and algebra and introductory calculus and programming. The fact this is needed just reflects the poor quality of K-12 in so many places.
The little secret that the big research universities don't want people to realize is that you can often get a better quality of instruction at most community colleges, due to small class sizes etc., then for the first two years at a big famous school. Hence it's wiser to do that and, assuming good grades, transfer in at the upper undergrad level for the courses and research lab access that small schools lack.
I don't really know of any apprenticeship program that could give one the same level of experience with cutting-edge technology as something like an MS program in a quality university research program could. And for that you're going to need a college degree first, ideally avoiding massive debt along the way.
As far as the struggle for professorships in the corporatized academic system, that's a complete political-bureaucratic game of chairs that doesn't really reward brilliance so much as it does Machiavellian capabilities. Trofim Lysenko would have fit right in to today's system. Try to avoid ending up in the Lysenko lab, whatever you do.