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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#151

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I think most men will agree that good sex is good sex no matter the looks of their partners. I think most men will also agree that having sex with a model with halitosis is less enjoyable than sex with an average-looking woman without such problems. I guess most women think the same if the tables are turned? There are many sayings related to the fact that as long as a women possesses the requisite parts, knows how to use them and wants to have sex she is just fine as a sexual partner for most men.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#152
post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game. My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out. If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up i…

I think the person you're replying to has a valid point. Attraction isn't a binary, it's a spectrum. As a guy in your early 20s who has left the the college bubble, your eligible dating pool is at its very smallest size. Women generally prefer not to date a guy significantly younger than them, so you're basically left with the girls your age. Guys don't have similar issues with dating younger women, so that 23-year o…

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe students are more shy and more careful because everyone around them has a video camera in their pocket.

And highly developed, must-participate-in social media sites. Cameras ain't jack if there isn't a way to share the footage. Then there is a Me-Too thing, which has led to a lot of younger women being very sensitive about real or perceived aggressions from men. Perhaps justified, but now it means a small misstep or failure to walk the line can be costly in a social sense. Young dude doesn't really know how to interact…

> being very sensitive about real or perceived aggressions from men. Perhaps justified, but now it means a small misstep or failure to walk the line can be costly in a social sense.

Not at all justified. Crying victim over vague aggressions is as pathologically toxic and sexist as it gets. They can't even be bothered to make an actual false accusation they can later be held accountable for, it's just "waaah, there's a man here who's not behaving the way -I- want them to. Minions, attack!"

It's regressed so badly, any sort of attempt to hold this subset of women accountable for their own behavior is met with them trying to rile up a mob against you as they publicly squawk about you being vaguely "aggressive." The point is to intimidate male targets (legitimate or not) into compliance and silence. It's not justified, it's female-perpetrated abuse (DARVO is passive aggression).

Not a fun time to be a parent or teacher with any sort of legal responsibility for this demographic; there is absolutely no support for custodians because everybody has been conditioned to uncritically associate all men with abuse and all women with victimhood. God help you if you're a male victim of anything, because nobody else will!

IME: In a recent workplace violence complaint, a female employee played this card against a male manager who was "aggressive" in giving her a negative performance review for job abandonment (ironically, this wasn't a younger employee). She later stole thousands of dollars of equipment and quit.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#154
A recent Rasmussen poll claims that almost half of blacks are not sure that it is okay to be white.

Have to wonder then what percent of women are not sure that is okay to be male, and if this has anything to do with the current "state of our unions" as discussed in the article.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#155

A recent Rasmussen poll claims that almost half of blacks are not sure that it is okay to be white. Have to wonder then what percent of women are not sure that is okay to be male, and if this has anything to do with the current "state of our unions" as discussed in the article.

The key points at the top of the article state that sexual intimacy is at a 30-year low across genders.

And then goes on to say that young men must re-prioritize and attune to the shift in priorities that women have already made.

Well ok. That's pretty toxic.

Young men can do whatever tf they want, generally speaking.

If they want their genes to be passed on they'll find a mate.

If they don't find a mate, their genes won't be passed on, thereby resolving the issue anyway.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#156

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

> So suddenly (assuming you've put some work in) the dating (and sex) life becomes a balanced game. My personal experience and the experience of men I know is that this is not how it turns out. If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older. Just because you hit staff and make $500k/yr doesn't mean they want to be with you. Just because you have built up i…

> If you were never attractive before to women, you don't suddenly become attractive to them when you're older.

Most of the people I've known that say this about themselves usually fall into one of two camps:

1) They have glaringly obvious and simple things they can change about themselves that even I notice as a fairly fashion-clueless almost middle aged male. Wear pants that fit. Put a belt on. Shave (or shape) the spotty beard. Stop wearing the same style of clothes that you did as a college freshman. Go to the gym (or don't, I know plenty of overweight men that have productive dating lives because they are charismatic and fun to be around).

2) They have insanely high and hypocritical standards physical standards of beauty and discard anyone who does not reach them before even meeting them.

There are very few people who truly need significant cosmetic surgery to enter the dating pool.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#157

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#158
post #145

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We must be talking to a different 60% or have different opinions on what constitutes abuse then. Andrew Tate is plenty popular with a certain subset of boys.

Like all meme influencers, Andrew Tate is popular with a subset of the subset of people who spend way too much time on the internet. If you think that's 60% of men/boys, then perhaps you're part of the subset that spends too much time on the internet. I've never heard anyone even mention his name IRL.

All the kids spend too much time online, so I'm not sure casting shade at them really gets us anywhere. If that's not the case for your kids, I'd love to hear how you're getting that to work.

If you're not talking to boys about Andrew Tate because it hasn't come up (because it would be too cringe, as the kids say), don't worry, YouTube (reposts) have got you covered.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Healthcare services are a right in many countries. Sex can be put in a similar category. Just like lacking access to healthcare can lower the quality of your life, so can being alone and sexless. Healthcare services are a very intimate activity as well. It's like saying that healthcare access with attractive nurses is not a right. It's not, but healthcare in many countries is a right.

If having sex is a right, who are you proposing they have it with . How do we ensure that someone is available for that? What about their right to not participate? This elision speaks VOLUMES.

> If having sex is a right, who are you proposing they have it with. How do we ensure that someone is available for that?

The easy answer is to direct them to Grindr or the nearest gloryhole. There is no shortage of prospective partners willing to relieve even the most undesirable men of their sexual tension.

It may not be exactly what they want, but at that point they're just being picky. Everyone's a girl when they're face-down.

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