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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#101

Post by cykros »

TheLoafOfBread wrote: post #62
paulrouget wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No. 30+ men dating 30- women.

Where did 30+ women go in this equation?

Pure speculation, especially because most of this all is, but in keeping with wild assumptions:

They're divorced, after their high status husbands traded in for a younger model.

The solution seems to be for 20-something men and 40-something women to find some common ground. Hormone levels seem appropriate for that match anyway, as both groups are slightly past their peak lifetime levels.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#102

Post by cykros »

eurasiantiger wrote: post #5

There is nothing new here, this phenomenon has existed for millennia. See Goethe’s ”The Sorrows of Young Werther”.

It may be exacerbated lately because of the fact that we have so many fewer wars that involve sending off large swaths of the young male population to fight and die, so instead they're surviving long enough to complain about the situation.

Sure, we still have wars, but they're much more asymmetric, and often enough the technology in use results in fewer military fatalities, at least in the West.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#103

Post by BlackMask »

itake wrote: post #10

A therapist is recommending therapy to improve men’s relationship skills and to stop watch porn. But the author says the “problem” (for lack of a better term) is women are less interested in dating (focusing on careers and education) and are overwhelmed with their number of choices. This seems like a supply side problem. I’m not seeing how therapy will fix top of the funnel issues.

You improve your relationship skills by being in a relationship, making 10,000 mistakes, and learning from each mistake. It's no different than learning how to write Python code or doing anything else for that matter.

A therapist can advise you on behavior that:

1. you observe and tell the therapist about, or

2. he notices during the session.

I've been happily married for +20 years. I went to therapy a couple of times: wasn't worth the time and energy. The best tool I found for debugging my life is a plain 3x5 pocket notebook. Every evening I take 30 minutes to summarize the events of the day and how I reacted to them. Then every few weeks I review the journal and it’s surprising how often I see patterns in my thoughts and actions and say “Oh I need to fix that.” Or “I handled that pretty well.”

Basically I treat my journal like a server log for my brain: every event and its response are written to the log, then reviewed from time to time for patterns and anomalies. My journal is the same.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#104

Post by kingstoned »

geysersam wrote: post #75
icare_1er wrote: post #56

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Does that logic work for Blacks for instance ?

If you want something that you have a right to, other people have to change. Not being discriminated is not a "nice to have", it's a human right. Sex with attractive women on the other hand is definitely not a human right. Is it just me who finds it ridiculous that this has to be spelled out?

Healthcare services are a right in many countries. Sex can be put in a similar category. Just like lacking access to healthcare can lower the quality of your life, so can being alone and sexless. Healthcare services are a very intimate activity as well.

It's like saying that healthcare access with attractive nurses is not a right. It's not, but healthcare in many countries is a right.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#105

Post by BenGosub »

igetspam wrote: post #83
BenGosub wrote: post #19

[flagged]

I think most women would agree that being single is far more interesting than interacting with men who rank them numerically.

see my other comment, is it surprising that physical attractiveness influences sexual pleasure?

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#106

Post by AnimalMuppet »

tssva wrote: post #94
mseepgood wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's them who want something so it's on them to change.

> It's them who want something so it's on them to change. Do they want something? Nowhere in the article is there any survey of men in this age group showing a desire for something different . Instead the author states their opinion that men in the age group should want something else and change to get it. When a woman figures out she doesn't need a man or a relationship to be happy and successful it is considered an…

If the men are happy with the situation, then no, they don't need to change.

Are they happy with the situation? The "incel" movement leads me to say no (at least for a number of men).

But it's not that simple. There are a number of women who aren't happy with waiting until nearly 30 either. But what there seems to be is a mismatch between supply and demand. And in every case where the demand exceeds the supply, the price goes us. If you're 25, male, and want a relationship with a female, you may have to be a real catch.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#108

Post by icare_1er »

unpopularopp wrote: post #100

Isn't that a good thing? I see this as a victory sign of feminism. Women no longer have to live their lives as a second class citizens. Marry > have kids > raise them etc. This is not the default path anymore and of course than means a lot of men would end up alone. Just a natural balancing and how things should have always been.

If they had "always been that way", by definition, you wouldn't be here, because you (or I, or everyone else) being here is the result of a society producing descendants, which itself is the consequence of a society producing couples.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#110

Post by DicIfTEx »

igetspam wrote: post #87
geysersam wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes，part of the explanation is probably that women mature a bit earlier than men (in terms of romantic and sexual attractivity).

So 20-30 year old men are too immature for women to be interested in them? But women of the same age aren't? So should we keep you'd men out of the work force and out of the general population because they're too immature to interact with more reasoned beings? Do you really think that?

I read this whole thing in Tucker Carlson's voice.
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