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Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

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Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#111

Post by thefz »

JesusLovesEwe wrote: post #22
granshaw wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not a comfortable thing to say, but this is one reason I’m glad my kid is a daughter and not a son If the dating game is already like this now, it’s scary thinking about how it’ll be 18 years from now

If you think the situation is any better for young women, you're in for a shock. From where I'm sitting, the propaganda targeting women is far, far more pervasive and destructive. Everything about their relationships - the why, when, who and how - is undermined in an alarming majority of our institutions. Date many and often with no inhibitions, "have fun", don't get "tied down", delay marriage and family or abstain…

So basically not adhering to your standard of what a woman should do is wrong?

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#113

Post by curiousguy »

afavour wrote: post #62
Beaver117 wrote: post #24

Another controversial comment but I know more and more young men deciding not to waste time pursuing dates and instead going to prostitutes.

You aren’t going to settle down and marry a prostitute, though. Yes, I can see the argument for replacing the casual dating scene with a prostitute but not dating in general. Seeing a bunch of “women want love, men want sex!” comments in this thread and man are they off base. Of course men want love, belonging, family, etc etc… it’s a tired joke that they have to be tricked into commitment.

True, as a man, I want love, belonging, family, etc.

But many women, specially in their early 20s, have completely unrealistic and entitled mentality. They don’t offer love and support, but only drama e constant criticism. Going to a prostitute is simpler while you can’t find a real partner.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#114

Post by exolymph »

raincom wrote: post #23
nicenewtemp84 wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Take it from a serial dater male with great success on tinder/bumble.. the lives of many women is substantially worse than even guys that can't get a date. Unless you do a great job explaining the purpose of dating (courting?), There is a very high chance she'll simply become the temporary play thing of dozens of men. And being smart and well educated seems to have basically little to do with it.. I know many more ma…

majority of wealthy wives are on anti-depressants, according to a pharmacist friend who works in a wealthy zip code in North NJ.

May or may not be true in general, but there's an obvious selection effect on who your pharmacist friend is exposed to.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#115

Post by dorkwood »

koonsolo wrote: post #103
dorkwood wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought I was a fairly attractive guy. I’ve had interest from attractive women in the past. On dating apps though? Crickets. I’ve had several friends vet my profile (who were quite brutal with their feedback, too) but I still only average around 1 match per week. If I’m supposed to be a somewhat attractive guy, I can imagine the vast majority of men must be getting no interest at all.

> I’ve had several friends vet my profile Female or male friends?

Two female, two male.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#116

Post by koonsolo »

causticthrow wrote: post #54
jimbokun wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Find someone to marry and settle down. Then you won’t be part of the society ruining.

My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.

> lost trust in the goodwill of women

Where is your goodwill? Are you just sleeping around with women or do you want to find a partner, settle down and start a family? Most women want that. So why would you question the goodwill of women when you don't have it yourself? Sounds a lot like projecting your own issues onto others.

> My (few) sexual partners couldn’t get enough

Enough of what? Did they want a serious relationship and you didn't? Well there you go then.

I don't know you, so there is of course a chance that I'm wrong. But it sounds you don't want to have a serious relationship and start a family. And then you project this onto "the goodwill of women".

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#117

Post by bmn__ »

causticthrow wrote: post #54
jimbokun wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Find someone to marry and settle down. Then you won’t be part of the society ruining.

My issue, and it is part of my disgust and the turning into a misogynist, is that I’ve majorly lost trust in the goodwill of women. The issue is that I’m singled out over mostly things I couldn’t choose, and the average joe that didn’t hit this lotto won’t even be looked at by the woman I settle down with. Me knowing this means I have no respect for her. My sympathy for men is turning into misogyny.

You seem to have come to learn that reality is different than what you were told in your upbringing. A therapist can help you come to grips with accepting the uncomfortable truth (like: humans are shallow, humans follow mating strategies founded in intrinsic, often immutable, qualities over personal development, etc.) without externalising it negatively, e.g. misogyny. Maybe you will come to reevaluate assumptions, realise that this slice of human behaviour is just like nature made us, and the instincts chiefly drive our behaviour here and feelings like respect or honour are simply misplaced and part of the previously lived illusion.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#118

Post by dorkwood »

bmn__ wrote: post #107
dorkwood wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought I was a fairly attractive guy. I’ve had interest from attractive women in the past. On dating apps though? Crickets. I’ve had several friends vet my profile (who were quite brutal with their feedback, too) but I still only average around 1 match per week. If I’m supposed to be a somewhat attractive guy, I can imagine the vast majority of men must be getting no interest at all.

> I thought I was a fairly attractive guy. By sheer statistical chance alone, you are a normie (middle of the bell curve, where most people are) and overrate yourself. > I’ve had several friends vet my profile Seek out an unbiased attractiveness rating done by people who actually know the science, for example ratebywaffles. I bet that your friends received no training or sought to read the relevant sociology and psyc…

You may very well be right. I can really only go off what others tell me, and whether attractive women found me attractive in the past (although I suppose there could have been other contributing factors).

I hadn’t heard of ratebywaffles. I might try it out. I’m sure it will be a hit to the self esteem, but it seems like it would ultimately be a good thing if it means developing a more accurate picture of myself.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#119

Post by bmn__ »

ldjkfkdsjnv wrote: post #17

Will probably get downvoted for this. But I'm a very conventionally attractive guy with a good job in a major US city. I basically have an unlimited stream of dates through dating apps from women of all walks of life. Upwards of 20 - 50 matches a day if I really push it. People already know this, but I dont think they know how bad the schew is. Every young single woman is chasing the same few men and they dont care i…

> The social dynamics between men and women have never existed like this.

Not so, polygyny actually is the natural dynamic for the animal genus homo. https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34538418

The age of enforced monogamy, which now has come to an end, lasted only a few thousand years, which is nothing compared to for how long we have already existed. What you think of normal is actually the anomaly.

I agree with the gist of the video that deliberate effort is required to engineer society in a direction where most men have a stake worth living for, not just the top 20%.

Re: Why the rate of single men in the US looking for dates has declined

#120

Post by bmn__ »

thefz wrote: post #111
JesusLovesEwe wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you think the situation is any better for young women, you're in for a shock. From where I'm sitting, the propaganda targeting women is far, far more pervasive and destructive. Everything about their relationships - the why, when, who and how - is undermined in an alarming majority of our institutions. Date many and often with no inhibitions, "have fun", don't get "tied down", delay marriage and family or abstain…

So basically not adhering to your standard of what a woman should do is wrong?

Is it wrong to want women to be happy? The causes enumerated by GP and touched upon in the video under discussion are real and destructive, therefore I would like you to be substantial in your criticism, not simply state a contrarian opinion.
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