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Most young men are single. Most young women are not

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Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#161

Post by schrijver »

lostphilosopher wrote: post #74
nebukadnet wrote: post #22

I find this very surprising. The first sentence of the article states that about 60% of men are single, and only about 30% of women. There's about equal men and women, so that would mean that 30% of women are dating each other, or are in relationships with multiple men? That's discounting men dating men. I find that surprising.

Another possibility is that women are more likely to choose to self report their status as "in a relationship" vs. men. (Which would be an interesting finding on its own!) I'm not sure which source they pulled those figures in the first line from, but elsewhere it talks about PEW studies and the Survey Center on American Life which are presumably working from self reported survey data? "Married" is easier to track ob…

That’s a good point that the article doesn’t touch on! (and along with the other ones from the article, makes a lot more sense than the “10% of the men date all the women” meme I see repeated in this HN discussion).

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#162

Post by taylodl »

sw104 wrote: post #143
taylodl wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article briefly mentions porn as an issue. I think porn is a much bigger issue than we're letting on. The men who are now in their 20's are the first generation of men to grow up with virtually unlimited access to porn. What are the results? We can empirically conclude they're struggling to form relationships with women. That's correlation, non causation, but others have been researching this issue and their prel…

That's a fair point, but I'd add that it's sex in media as well as porn. Media is more sexualised than ever before:- TV shows feature more sex and more of it is clearly visible, sex is used to sell basically anything, some dating apps/website have commodified sex (Tinder) and social media adds pressure for younger people.

I remember reading, maybe it's been 20-30 years ago now, that there was a lot more sex portrayed in media than sex people were actually having. To your point, today's young men have grown up with that too - thinking people are casually hooking up and having sex all the time when in reality they're not. Add in porn portraying women as nymphs who are eager to lose their clothes with little to no provocation and it would appear these young men have a very skewed idea of how sex and relationships work in the real world. Maybe they're figuring it out as they get older and that's part of the reason why today's young women are dating older men?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#163

Post by goethes_kind »

danielrpa wrote: post #149
llampx wrote: post #130

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Culture matters. You can have the most "game" but if you grow up in Saudi Arabia or India you will almost certainly have a lower "count" than someone with no game who grew up in Brazil.

True, but what I'm saying is that the same overall approach - at least in my case - worked well in the US, even though things were harder at first (some tweaks were needed indeed). I bet things would be different in India or Saudi Arabia, however we're talking about the US here. I'm saying that if young American men had the opportunity to learn how to court women, they would have no problems finding mates.

Can you elaborate on what it means to court a woman?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#164

Post by acidtakes1 »

brnewd wrote: post #72
acidtakes1 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We do not need to produce less people.

It's an unpopular opinion for sure. But as it stands, our planet cannot sustain the way we exploit it. Our seas are being emptied and poisoned, we cut rainforest to be used for overcropping. It's what happens if you have 8 Billion people on a relative small planet. Sure we could do better but that's not in our nature untill doom stands on our doorstep.

It's actually quite popular among environmentalists. We need to make progress on sustainability, and we will. We CAN sustain 8 billion people because of the immense progress humans have made in food production and efficiency. Pretending the only solution is, less humans, is antithetical to everything humanity has accomplished.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#165

Post by mcphage »

I'm not sure how to make these two statements consistent:

> More than 60 percent of young men are single, nearly twice the rate of unattached young women

> “Women don’t need to be in long-term relationships. They don’t need to be married. They’d rather go to brunch with friends than have a horrible date,” said Greg Matos

So women don't need to be in a long-term relationship, and yet they are at a much higher rate?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#166

Post by readthenotes1 »

schrijver wrote: post #158
anovikov wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing surprising, yes this is mostly about top 10% of men dating several women each. Inequality in action.

I see this talking point all the time yet never backed up by studies. That would mean that these attractive men put a premium on quantity over quality (because they’d have to date women less attractive then them for the numbers to work out) and have lots of time and mental energy at their disposal to manage these concurrent relationships. Whereas in general people tend to date people that are more or less as attracti…

Isn't this what is reported by Tinder? That women get selected all the time but only the most attractive men get selected by women

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#167

Post by llampx »

tucnak wrote: post #105

Disclaimer: I'm a non-American young adult in a longstanding relationship with a girl of my age. Having read the article, I felt like the writing severely lacked in clarity & posed the problem as ultimately men's fault. The numerous quotes appealing to what I can only read as "hot takes" produced by some kind of authority only reinforce this: > Younger men are largely responsible for rising rates of mass shootings, a…

You can't really expect mainstream writing to take the opposite stance, that its women's fault. Somebody has to be to blame, and in a case of men vs women, the target is easy.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#168

Post by llampx »

fbernier wrote: post #82
GalenErso wrote: post #11

A man who is financially autonomous, practices basic hygiene and grooming, wears tasteful clothing, and approaches women with respect and manners has nothing to worry about. You don't need to make 6 figures, to be 6 feet tall, to have the body of The Rock or 2004 Brad Pitt's face. Having one interesting hobby is also a huge plus, even if it's as simple as hiking or jogging. You just need to be minimally interesting.…

Exactly this. I've been single for four months at 27 and dated a lot during that time and I noticed that the bar is set _so low_ to place yourself as a better candidate than, let's say 80% of other men, that's it's simply scary. Most men have literally nothing interesting to offer for a relationship. When you look at their situation from an objective point of view it's so obvious why they remain single and yet most a…

I daresay a higher percentage of men have interesting hobbies than women, at any age. Mostly because having interesting hobbies is a good way to attract mates for men, and not for women.

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#169

Post by dsfyu404ed »

tester756 wrote: post #147
medvezhenok wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You should always strive to maximize your value in the dating market - any other strategy is self-defeating (note that you can settle after maximizing - that is totally allowed). That means you should try to meet women doing activities you excel at (relative to other people), demonstrating leadership qualities (giving talks at conferences, for ex.) or in GP's case, moving abroad. I'm not sure how the people you attra…

If you're using "strategies" then you're already not genuine, thus not trustworthy, imo.

Have you seen how women approach dating? Double standard much?

Re: Most young men are single. Most young women are not

#170

Post by mcphage »

b800h wrote: post #96
tppiotrowski wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The article explains this. They are either dating each other or dating older men.

They didn't mention the fact that successful younger males are dating multiple women at once. That's another factor.

Is it? Are open relationships that statistically significant?
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