Repeatedly using slurs is abusive, but what if the majority of people don't see it as a slur? If your answer is "then it's not a slur", then what do you think of the frequent use of the N-word in the first half of the 20th century?
Is it abusive to repeatedly and baselessly accuse an entire group of child abuse ("grooming")?
If you repeatedly attend community gatherings to repeat speech that is deliberately offensive to that community, does that rise to the level of abuse?
These are reasonable questions that we tend to just skip over when we talk about "cancel culture" and those who are characterized, fairly or unfairly, as victims of it.