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Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

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Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#71

Post by zepolen »

nkrisc wrote: post #27

You can’t control the actions of others, only your own. Another person is like a mountain: you can’t change anything about the mountain. You can only decide whether you’ll go around it, over it, or turn back. I learned long ago to stop wasting my energy worrying about what other people did, and to focus on what I could do. Sometimes your actions can influence others, but you can’t make then do anything, they make the…

Most people are easily manipulated if you know how and are willing to do so. This has been proven multiple times, for example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8BkzvP19v4

There are other ways to make people do things as well like money or force.

Only strong minded people not afraid of death are truly immovable mountains.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#72

Post by lukebitts »

When I was a child in school, we had to cut a piece of paper in the shape of a flower with a hole in the middle, to put around an utensil as a gift. When I cut my flower and tried to fit it in the utensil, the hole was a bit smaller than I needed. I was ready to cut a full circle around the hole when a teacher told me “sometimes all you need is just a little bit” and she cut the smallest piece of paper and suddenly the flower fit perfectly. 30 years later I’ve followed her advice too many times to count, more than any advice I got from my parents

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#74

Post by Joeri »

iLoveOncall wrote: post #18
vouaobrasil wrote: post #8

Best advice I got was from my psychology professor. He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure. I still rememeber using it when someone at my old workplace wanted me to sign up to be in a club (that had a fee). I never joined and I am proud that I didn't. Also, I've learned a few things from Jordan…

> if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it There's not a single socially capable person that will not straight away understand that "I will think about it" means "no". May as well say no.

Not if you will genuinely think about it. The assumption that it means no is often wrong. I’m cautious and say this often to things I then afterwards say yes to.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#75

Post by modernerd »

bloqs wrote: post #49
modernerd wrote: post #5

“…for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ’If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” - Steve Jobs' 2005 St…

This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work. This fundamentally works, for a small subset of people that are predisposed via their personality to extremely high levels of dilligence and conscientiousness who need to be told to stop working. If you are the opposite, this advice basically says "stop sacrificing the short term for the long term, and stop working towards difficult but ultimately w…

It's not a rallying cry for hedonism, short-termism or defeatism.

It's a suggestion to correct course; to be self-aware; to get over your fears; to ensure you're pursuing things you find worthwhile and believe in; to accept that even for those things you will have days when you don't love them, but to consider a change if that feeling persists.

He goes on to say, “…all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose”, which is less often quoted but just as important.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#76

Post by Anon84 »

bloopernova wrote: post #16

Long time ago a friend copied some albums onto minidisk for me. When I played them I saw that he had named each album and track fully. This would have been done by manually choosing each letter using the arrow keys on the remote. It would have taken many hours to do this very tedious task. When I expressed my amazement and thanks, he shrugged and said something that stuck with me ever since: "If a job is worth doing,…

There's a better version of that last sentence:

"If it's worth doing, it's word doing poorly"

In other words, if it's worth doing, it's worth struggling through the many frustrating failures until you can do it well. Otherwise, you might get put off by not being able to do it "well"

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#77

Post by xyzwave »

bloqs wrote: post #49
modernerd wrote: post #5

“…for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ’If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” - Steve Jobs' 2005 St…

This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work. This fundamentally works, for a small subset of people that are predisposed via their personality to extremely high levels of dilligence and conscientiousness who need to be told to stop working. If you are the opposite, this advice basically says "stop sacrificing the short term for the long term, and stop working towards difficult but ultimately w…

> This is not good advice and it largely goes against steve jobs work.

I’d argue the opposite. It’s exactly aligned with his stated philosophy. Particularly in how this was influenced by an early LSD experience:

> It reinforced my sense of what was important—creating great things instead of making money, putting things back into the stream of history and of human consciousness as much as I could.

I don’t think that suggests hedonism or short term pleasure by any means.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#78

Post by tcbawo »

urthor wrote: post #3

Some piece of psychology research said having others depend on you is a deep source of happiness. You were contributing to the hunter gatherer tribe or whatnot. Another piece of psychological research. When you did something for a gold star reward, and they took the reward away, people stopped enjoying the activity. Aka, just do kind deeds for others. Everything will be alright. Also, do stuff for others, for free, u…

I can think of a person in my family that needs to be needed in this way. Since I am somewhat independent, she is put off, probably subconsciously. Trying to find ways to be needed feels artificial. It’s hard to reconcile this. Maybe therapy.

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#79

Post by coremoff »

Pinegulf wrote: post #50
65 wrote: post #19

"Listen to no one" - Eric Andre

I don't get this. Is there some context that's missing?

Feels like it's got a

> "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

vibe to it...

(or a Life of Brian "you're all individuals" thing)

Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?

#80

Post by papandada »

This comes from 12 Steps/AA literature. If something external causes me to feel some way, it may be more about me than about the externality itself.

I'll try an example. If a random stranger comes up and insults me, I might start getting angry, insult him back, even start a fight. If I reflected on it a bit I might see my reaction was based on my own insecurity, my pre-existing belief that some of these insults, whatever they were, were true; or maybe a fear that these words could injure me somehow and I'd need to protect myself.

On the other hand, I can think of a very loving person I know, and if someone started insulting them, they'd be more likely to say, whoa, you poor man, you seem troubled, what's going on?

The point being responding back with anger is not a necessary reaction to this stimulus. And a strong unpleasant reaction, or avoidance, is often rooted in my own self-centeredness (which can be changed).

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