Also where did you learn and test that advice was infact true? Share your anecdotal experiences.
Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
1–10 of 281 posts
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#2Do you have evidence or do you have assumptions?
Something I learned in CBT - while I can trust my mind to return facts I know most of the time, if I'm in a heated moment or excessively stressed out I can start making assumptions of the world (to save time and think faster?) - sometimes these assumptions are wrong.
Basically the therapist taught me to be less like ChatGPT, haha. I can express my assumptions and opinions of course, but I should note (at least to myself) where something I claim is an assumption I've made rather than a fact I know.
This was primarily for my low self-esteem and imposter syndrome feelings, but it works for pretty much everything.
---
Side note it turns out actual imposters don't have a mental portfolio of projects to hand that are actually really impressive when listed off in one sitting, haha
"oh yeah I tinkered on a project for a weekend while bored which went on to (indirectly) help raise millions for charity that one time"
If you also suffer from this I'd recommend making a "brag bin" - This is a tub I store complements and success stories that I can later go through when I'm feeling useless. This I adapted from (my systems use individual cards rather than documents) https://jvns.ca/blog/brag-documents/
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#3Some piece of psychology research said having others depend on you is a deep source of happiness. You were contributing to the hunter gatherer tribe or whatnot.
Another piece of psychological research. When you did something for a gold star reward, and they took the reward away, people stopped enjoying the activity.
Aka, just do kind deeds for others. Everything will be alright.
Also, do stuff for others, for free, using software. It's a really important part of enjoying your job.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#4To get good at something, you have to be bad at it first, often for a very long time.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#5“…for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ’If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.”
- Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#6Buddhism's 4 noble truths. Aversion & craving, impermanence, etc.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#7I’ll go esoteric.
Existence precedes essence.
I first encountered existentialism in HS within the book of “One Day in the life of Ivan D.” If a labor camp prisoner can find meaning and even beauty in those circumstances my HS self had quite a bit of opportunity around him. But it’s also a good entry point to stoicism, too.
Edit-special mention to Long Chen Pa’s “since everything in the universe is perfect in being exactly as it is, having nothing to do with acceptance/reject […] one may well burst out in laughter.” In a writing on Taoism (I think? Been way too long). Edit2-Long Chen Pa must have been writing about Tibetan Buddhism.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#8Best advice I got was from my psychology professor. He said "if someone asks you to do something, especially in a social situation, tell them you will think about it". It prevents you from saying yes under pressure. I still rememeber using it when someone at my old workplace wanted me to sign up to be in a club (that had a fee). I never joined and I am proud that I didn't.
Also, I've learned a few things from Jordan Peterson: (1) reframe accurately what someone is telling you when they have a problem, and (2) give someome very specific positive feedback when they do something you like.
Finally, from my mom: don't care what other people think (in the sense of not letting it get in the way of doing something you know is right for you).
And a little bit of advice from myself: less is more. Don't accumulate things, don't go after the latest gadgets. Knowledge is power but too much knowledge (in the factual, scientific sense of knowledge) can take up mental space that would be better for personal development and care for others. And show respect for others AND the whole planet. It is what gave us life, and it's not a resource to use to create mostly irrelevant crap like AI and the latest iPhone.
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#9If someone does something once, they will do it twice
Re: Ask HN: What is the best advice you got on any aspect of life?
#10Having tight positive feedback loops is great for motivation. For example when writing code, seeing immediately if it works. Either by hot reloading, automated testing or at least building it. I try to find the same in other mundane topics.