261–270 of 386 posts
Some people just like to fight at every opportunity, and others are too cowardly to fight when they should.
This is all fun until you talk to someone who is absolutely brainwashed or alien to a peaceful behavior. Do you really want to lose the debate to flat earth advocate? Do you want to lose a debate to a war aggressor supporter? Do you want to lose a debate to a serial killer? I bet you don't. PS. Maybe I didn't get something right, but I suffered a lot in conversations with close relatives who are denying that killing…
>close relatives who are denying that killing other people is bad Nobody, except people with legitimate mental health issues, thinks killing is a "good" thing. Your close relatives believe Russia is on defense. Kind of like how the US was on defense in Iraq. So, from their perspective, the way to save lives is to negotiate an end to the war where Russia takes that tiny bit of land, and Ukraine stops being considered…
An open-minded willingness to change one’s mind is admirable. But if you change your mind too often, you end up thinking less yourself - you’re outsourcing learning. It should get incrementally more difficult to change your mind the more you learn. Otherwise, you’re just collecting facts, not actually understanding anything.
Besides, you don’t really hope you’re wrong, and it’s a bit arrogant to say so. Have you ascended above these petty emotions of the flesh? Being wrong is A Bad Thing, and “I believe I’m wrong” is an oxymoron.
I think a better approach is “I’m always willing to change my mind, and hope I never have to.” I’m often wrong, about things of which I’m unaware, and I always pursue the opportunity to be less wrong.
But it’s a worse title.
I’d like to offer an alternative framing: don’t debate at all, just listen. While high school debate did teach me many positive lessons and I am thankful that I spent four years of my life doing it, many years later I have come to understand that it also taught me something truly negative: that the point of a conversation is to win. I have put a lot of time in my adult life unlearning that trait, and reflecting on th…
but if all people with this mindset, improvement never comes
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> the point of a conversation is to win I have a feeling that a lot of people think this. Coming to an 'agree to disagree' is really had for some people. Sometimes there's no other option though, because both people seem to know the same facts, they just have differing opinions on how to deal with those facts. > take note of how much of the time you spend formulating a response I've been paying attention to this for…
The point is you don't even have to agree to disagree — it is not mandatory to tell the other person your opinion. You can also just listen to theirs and ask questions etc. A conversation can be much, much more than a clash of opinions. Going into a conversation with the idea of "the other guy is wrong " is a sure way of never understanding how they arrived at that wrong opinion to begin with. Yet sometimes precisely…
Even more -- it is not mandatory to have an opinion on everything.
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When someone tries explaining something to me, I try to summarize what this person said when they are finished. E.g., "So you're saying that " or "It seems like ". This forces me to actively listen and remember what the other person has said. Afterwards, I'm looking for a response in the lines of "That's correct!" or "That's right!", or a correction and explanation that I haven't heard it correctly. Even if I don't a…
Reminds me of the interview with Jordan Peterson, where the interviewer said "so you're saying that ". So I agree with you as long as you don't fall into that trap of putting false words in the other mouth.
I used to think this too, but found it was mostly a manifestation of my intellectual cowardice, not a coherent position itself. An open-minded willingness to change one’s mind is admirable. But if you change your mind too often, you end up thinking less yourself - you’re outsourcing learning. It should get incrementally more difficult to change your mind the more you learn. Otherwise, you’re just collecting facts, no…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
There is nothing more tedious in adult life than some debate club weenie trying to turn every random fucking conversation into a debate. I strongly suspect debate club has a net negative impact on peoples social skills. It teaches a bunch of anti patterns to successful social interactions. Like, you will be shooting the shit with the lads down pub the once or twice you see them per year when this dickhead (and every…
I enjoy watching the occasional political twitch/youtube streamer or speaker. I couldn't tell you why; I don't feel that most of them leave me feeling any wiser after the conversations end. But the times I come across positions that I haven't traditionally considered or agreed with being well-stated and expounded upon is really enjoyable and usually makes it worth the minutes or hours burned having it playing lightly…
I left a FOSS project that I liked a lot hacking on, because of a person like that. It was painful, but better for my mental health overall.
I'm sorry, but I just can't read this. Ever since I put out an album on CDBaby in like 2004, which was Mr Sivers project at the time, I have been subjected to an endless stream of daily self promotion from this man. Somehow he evades all spam blocks and all attempts to remove myself from his lists. I have never seen another human being so self absorbed who consistently just had to have their meandering thoughts manua…
Can't you just block his emails?