very ominous title
I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
81–90 of 132 posts
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#82Is loneliness really such an issue? Maybe i dont have an issue with it because I'm an introvert?
I'm also an introvert and am usually happy to be alone. On the weekend, I'd much rather stay in and do my own thing with my cats than go anywhere or meet anyone.
But I do have bouts of longing for connection with other humans sometimes. It can be difficult to reconcile. Even if I make plans to go out and make friends or meet an existing one during one of these slumps, by the time the planned day rolls around I usually have to force myself to actually do it. Once I force myself out there I have fun, but it takes so much effort to actually do it and not stay in my own little world reading or coding or whatever.
I think I've come to terms with the fact that even though I really love being alone, I do need to put in an effort to make more meaningful connections over the long term.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#83What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say…
I also suffered from a bad case of social anxiety. It probably does not work for everyone, but what really helped me was just going away for 4 weeks. I just returned from my holiday and forced myself to stay in hostels. I was terrified before (having to socialize with unknown people, blegh), but it has been amazing and am really looking forward to doing something like this again. Again, I know it does not work for ev…
I think the most important thing is just putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations. Even if it's awkward, even if you feel embarrassed for whatever reason, you'll have learned a bit more about how to interact with people. So next time will be less awkward. Then the time after that, less still.
This is what helped me, when I was in that position.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#84Is loneliness really such an issue? Maybe i dont have an issue with it because I'm an introvert?
> Maybe i dont have an issue with it because I'm an introvert?
As an off-the-scale introvert and socially anxious person, I’ll just say that loneliness and introversion aren’t incompatible because the degree to which you are depleted or energized by the presence of others is not a binary variable. Rare is the person who needs no human interaction.
But as others have alluded to, loneliness may be a catch-all for many emotional states and mental health conditions. A sense of self-alienation can be read-out as loneliness and even the most committed introvert can experience that.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#85I was very lonely for my college years because I lived in a religious uni that was far away from any city, partly because the mission school I went to (went to school outside of America) offered tuition scholarships to go there. Within the first year of leaving to an actual city, I lost my virginity, had my first successful relationship, and generally found my place in the world. People underestimate how much mundane…
Be careful with this: people moving away from home to universities are some of the most at-risk for feeling lonely, for developing depression and suicidal tendencies.
It can absolutely help some people, but for others it can make them feel like they're more alone than they've ever been, because while their anxieties and social struggles still exist, they no longer have any support structure of a family or friends from home around them.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#86Is loneliness really such an issue? Maybe i dont have an issue with it because I'm an introvert?
I agree, as an introvert, I'm pretty happy being alone. But apparently it's a big deal. The former U.S. surgeon general calls it an "epidemic". https://www.vivekmurthy.com/post/2017/10/10/work-and-the-lon...
I wonder if loneliness == being alone... many people report being lonely in a crowded place, being lonely in a marriage, or being lonely at work. But this leads to the conclusion that the solution to loneliness may not always be 'meeting people'.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#87Earlier quoted context omitted.
Great point. I need to look into this. If you find a link to it, please keep me posted
is there maybe some way to find the nearest population center from any given location? say the nearest town with 100.000 inhabitants? something like this: https://citiesnear.com/me
The nearest town with 100k inhabitants means that places such as Greenland are completely excluded, since its largest town by far only has a population of 18k
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#88What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say…
Yeah, few people understand that basic human communication abilities are actually not given, but learned. If an individual lacked the necessary comrades in their youth they might actually be incapable of forming proper relationships, at all. The skills do come with practice, but that requires a great deal of discomfort, since you're knowingly putting yourself in situations which most likely do fail miserably due to y…
> If an individual lacked the necessary comrades in their youth they might actually be incapable of forming proper relationships, at all.
I think the struggle for a lot of adults is not in the interaction or in the start but in the maintaining relationships.
This is easy in school and university because of the free time and co-location, the challenge is to do it when we all go our separate ways.
In that sense I do feel like I lack the skills and the mental CRM system to keep walking those friendship footpaths before all the weeds and time make these footpaths slowly vanish.
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#89This reminds me of the work of the Japanese artist Watanabe Atsushi. He collaborated with people living shut in lives to all take photos of the moon together and collected them into an visual art work. Even though they're all alone everyone is looking at the same moon.
https://www3.nhk.or.jp/news/special/hikikomori/pages/article...
Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations
#90"We live in the most connected age, but we feel lonelier than ever. We experience:
a sense of isolation feeling "out of tune" with people around us having no one to turn to"
Do "we"? I don't. Thats kind of a condescending accusation to make on the landing page of a website!