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I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

lonelyworld.info

71–80 of 132 posts

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#71

Curious what you used for maps. I always want to build stuff with maps but the costs can be really high

You can always start with tiles from https://openstreetmap.org Or use one of the commercial providers which offers free tiers. There are quite a few smaller providers that are not super expensive.

You can always setup your own tile server. It's not that hard and can be cheap (if you don't count your time). I recommend, checking https://github.com/onthegomap/planetiler

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#72
post #47

> Only approximate location is uploaded (~3 mile accuracy). I believe where this is done by other services they account for the density of population in a geographic area. (IIRC there was an article posted here a few years ago) In my case a 3m radius would mean I’m one of 4 households, for example.

Great point. I need to look into this. If you find a link to it, please keep me posted

is there maybe some way to find the nearest population center from any given location? say the nearest town with 100.000 inhabitants?

something like this: https://citiesnear.com/me

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#73
post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I also suffered from a bad case of social anxiety. It probably does not work for everyone, but what really helped me was just going away for 4 weeks. I just returned from my holiday and forced myself to stay in hostels. I was terrified before (having to socialize with unknown people, blegh), but it has been amazing and am really looking forward to doing something like this again. Again, I know it does not work for ev…

I see this advice a lot, and it's probably good advice, but my experience differs. When I travel solo, I become much more introverted. I think that being in your own head has a stickiness to it, so if you're in it for a while, it's hard to snap out of it. You can also be quite weary after a day on the road. You might also find solo travel difficult when you're around other people. I love solo travel when I'm in natur…

Maybe look at the culture of the people where you are traveling to if looking to break out of a shell of your own creation. Sitting at a bar in Ireland good. Sitting at the same bar in Sweden or Seattle bad.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#74

The Hedgehog's dilemma is relevant for loneliness. From Wikipedia: "The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs seek to move close to one another to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all…

I’m not going to mess with Schopenhauer, but I feel this is wrong in respect to hedgehogs and also humans.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#75
post #54

Loneliness is increasing rapidly, and it is becoming a major issue. Studies show that it can lead to or increase the risk of increased obesity, substance use disorder, risk of depression, cardiovascular disease, risk of high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. It is also something people feel great shame over. I remember when i started my loneliness group on Facebook. I then posted it existence in a large group for…

[flagged]

The idea that tendencies for extroversion and introversion somehow perfectly line up with partisan pandemic politics is quite a terrible take. It's also unreasonably hostile towards a lot of people and you might want to consider what motivates you to post such a comment here of all places.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#76
post #64

I was very lonely for my college years because I lived in a religious uni that was far away from any city, partly because the mission school I went to (went to school outside of America) offered tuition scholarships to go there. Within the first year of leaving to an actual city, I lost my virginity, had my first successful relationship, and generally found my place in the world. People underestimate how much mundane…

The opposite is also true. I help immigrants deal with various issues, and loneliness is a major issue most of them face in the first 18 months. If you move to a new place without any contacts, and you don't speak the local language, and the locals are not famous for their warmth, you struggle. The problem is that there is no step by step solution that works for everyone. We all have different ways to put ourselves o…

So, ironically, I just moved to Singapore from the US last year. I think if it wasn't for my wife-to-be who is Singaporean, I'd be pretty lonely here too. I think the point I should have made isn't just "move" but rather "move to a place where you'll feel more comfortable." Of course, you have to be lucky enough to land in a spot that works, and most people can't move every few months once they've decided X place isn't working for them.

Another example of converse: I was happy in high school (that mission school in palau), but moving to the university in TN absolutely stiffled me for those five or so years. I guess another way to phrase my point is "place does matter," and don't discount external factors for being the reason you are lonely. We in America often attribute a lot to internal factors such as attitude, outlook, mindset, etc. And, yes, internal factors are important. However, life really is a balance of external and internal factors, you need to optimize both to the extent you can. I feel like self-help talks and media emphasize internal focus because that is (supposedly) the thing you do have control over. That said, if you can get a "ticket out of town," even to just visit a new place, don't discount what it could do for your internal issues like loneliness.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#77

What the discussion about loneliness almost never talks about is skills that people that are lonely might lack or any mental health issues they might have. I had a very strong social anxiety 10 years ago. I never left the house. I lacked the skills to cope with that. (Therapy in that case helps.) If you're lonely because you don't know how to connect with people, that's an even easier skill to acquire (i.e. read "say…

Yeah, few people understand that basic human communication abilities are actually not given, but learned. If an individual lacked the necessary comrades in their youth they might actually be incapable of forming proper relationships, at all. The skills do come with practice, but that requires a great deal of discomfort, since you're knowingly putting yourself in situations which most likely do fail miserably due to your lack of social skills. Their fear of social situations is not unfounded but very real.

Re: I made a website for lonely people, and got >100 people to log their locations

#80

The Hedgehog's dilemma is relevant for loneliness. From Wikipedia: "The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs seek to move close to one another to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all…

> The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm

Appreciating this is a short summary, I think it would be good to show why the hedgehog analogy is a good one. Reading this I inferred that this was just a given, that because we have this analogy of hedgehogs it must therefore be true for humans. It would be good to know why.

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