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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#401

Post by ifyoubuildit »

imbnwa wrote: post #367
lelanthran wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: >> No unwanted advances It seems very appalling when you focus on the bits you don't like and ignore the bits like "no unwanted advances".

>It seems very appalling when you focus on the bits you don't like and ignore the bits like "no unwanted advances". Yes, lets cultivate young hetero men to expressly look for sexual opportunities where they have an explicit and conscious asymetrical power-relation to women. Quality dudes these will be.

Would it be ridiculous to possibly interpret this instead as young hetero men looking for opportunities where they have something to offer? Or should they only look for sexual opportunities where they are outclassed by their peers?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#402

Post by [deleted] »

MuffinFlavored wrote: post #62
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

[deleted]

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#403

Post by fzeroracer »

ShredKazoo wrote: post #379
fzeroracer wrote: post #365

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Correct, now apply that to being a student. When you go to college, there is a contract that you sign to not cheat, to not be disruptive. To be a 'good' student (which doesn't necessarily entail passing classes, but not affecting others or being dishonest). Guess what these people are doing in this situation.

>When you go to college, there is a contract that you sign to not cheat, to not be disruptive. Cheating isn't relevant when you're auditing a class. I think the key issue is how disruptive the behavior really is. My suspicion is that it isn't very disruptive and the people complaining are being oversensitive.

So you're going to continue dancing around the point I'm making. I believe we're done here then since you've planted your feet at the 'it's not disruptive even if people are saying it's disruptive' line.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#404

Post by wilsonnb3 »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #335
ImaCake wrote: post #315

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class…

Generally. If men have to pursue women in "good faith" and not purposefully try to position themselves then I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

> I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

I don't think this will be news to most women

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#405

Post by sidlls »

joe-collins wrote: post #278
murrkat wrote: post #273

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there not a chance one of the young men offering open labs or tutoring might, in fact, be intelligent, enthusiastic about the sciences and decent ?

If they're so intelligent and decent, why are they relying on such disturbing tactics to meet women in the first place?

In this age group the ratio of who are not assessing dating partners based almost purely on physical attractiveness to those who are is tiny.

That being said, this is appalling, predatory behavior on the part of the students using the app. These are vulnerable people that the app users are taking advantage of and trying to manipulate into an intimate relationship.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#406

Post by diebeforei485 »

Sounds like a clear misuse of being able to audit a class.

If they're actually doing the work, and are meeting people to work with, it doesn't matter (edit: see edit at bottom). In any given class, attractive people get more help from peers.

Edit: I just realized these are math and science classes for non majors. I thought it would be something like economics or geology or something, where having a STEM background would help but not directly.

In this case, this is inappropriate and I don't think these students should be taking this class at all.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#407

Post by sacnoradhq »

jhanschoo wrote: post #198

I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: > number of female students have approached me, noting they are disgusted and uncomfortable with the amount of leching taking place > It's also demoralizing several of them, since we routinely have cases where a young man is leading open labs as if they're a teacher themselves (in order to "wow" their female classmates, offer "…

There's a widespread lack of male role models, absentee fathers, and anything and everything male bashing.

The ladies could be mentioning to the guys specific constructive feedback, because the guys probably don't know how they're failing or how they're making others feel.

The surprising and shocking secret of being a ladies' man, is underwhelming and doesn't get press: being human and treating others as human according to their needs (improved Golden Rule).

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#408

Post by diebeforei485 »

weakfish wrote: post #332
nhchris wrote: post #292

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distracting? It seems everyone is complaining except the girls getting tutored. And if they did complain, if some guy was pushy or wouldn't take no for an answer, then deal with him the same as any other such guy - that they're attending a class for the sake of dat…

It would be demoralizing because your attractiveness shouldn’t factor into whether you can get academic help

Attractive people definitely get more help from peers regardless of class. However, this is a strange situation where they literally already know all the material. IMO they shouldn't be taking the class.

I agree it shouldn't factor into getting help from class TA's.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#409

Post by noduerme »

version_five wrote: post #29

As much as I disagree with "diversity" pushes, I don't see the publication of this data (which the author mentions at least twice) as being really important here. It should be obvious to anyone who thinks about it which classes would fit the description. It seems like the app is somehow a catalyst for coordinated activity at this school (and maybe driven by the data) but realistically you could probably find a specul…

Ah, but a speculative approach wouldn't be a misuse of data that was published to burnish the university's diversity image. Following the OP's logic here, it seems to be grounded in a complaint that the university is publishing granular diversity data as a way to burnish its image without considering potential adverse effects of publishing said data. So it's attempting to set up a scenario of two pillars of woke ideology coming into conflict - like homeless people camping in the wetlands, or trans people vs women's sports - which I think is why the writer also thinks it's something the right would pounce on.

I'm offering the above analysis whilst thinking all parties in this are creating a tempest in a teapot.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#410

Post by ImaCake »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #335
ImaCake wrote: post #315

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class…

Generally. If men have to pursue women in "good faith" and not purposefully try to position themselves then I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

This isn't exclusive to straight men. I know plenty of people who have pursued relationships in good faith.

EDIT: please cite a source for "99% of".

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