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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#161

Post by MuffinFlavored »

t-writescode wrote: post #134
ARandomerDude wrote: post #119

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If that's true, then the only way to let a woman know you're interested in her is after she has first told you. But that's a horrible way to make room for different personality types. Some women are assertive. Some are less so. Should the more reserved women just stay single?

Do the more reserved women want to stay single? Maybe they do! And most people have introvert friends and extrovert friends. You meet safe and good people through friend circles and then they get you to meet the other person.

Don't you think it's pretty ignorant to pretend the only type of relationships happening between 18 -> 21 year olds throughout every college in America is exclusively "safe and good people met through friend circles" as opposed to two people just randomly in a class together where the guy typically just says "hey, what are you doing later? want to hang out/study together?"

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#162

Post by giantg2 »

wilsonnb3 wrote: post #74
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

Nobody cares if college students try to date other students from their classes. It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. It is even weirder when the class in question is something that they have a very high skill level in specifically so that they will be able leverage that into some kind of situation that leads to dating. This is pretty cut and dry to me, I am not sure why so…

You use the word weird a lot. But what's the actual problem?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#164

Post by ipaddr »

dymk wrote: post #84
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

Birth rates are tanking because of increased access to contraceptives and people having the wealth and freedom to enjoy their 20s and 30s unburdened by children

Or more likely something within our food / water chain labeled safe and unharmful. Birth control pills part of the drinking water supply is a popular theory

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#165

Post by jerpint »

alexpetralia wrote: post #104
jeffbarr wrote: post #4

Bill Gates and Paul Allen were doing something similar decades ago. According to https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35442969 (but well known before that): > Paul Allen, who would later become a co-founder of Microsoft, was a couple of years above Gates at school. Together they fixed the school scheduling software to ensure Gates was the only boy in classes of girls.

Remember, YouTube started as a dating service!

Source? Genuinely curious

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#166

Post by jxramos »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #25

Ingenious and hilarious. Trying to shut it down is probably going to create more interest, Streisand effect type thing. I would leave it to burn out on it's own. It sounds like a net positive on the whole. Hard to tell if there is really a problem here. "a number of female students" reached out to her with concerns, but "a few fellow profs either find it comical, or are happy that open labs are so full of volunteer t…

I think they need to get into more detail regarding

>... uncomfortable with the amount of leching taking place.

What amount and what actions specifically, like are the guys ogling the girls non-stop. What are they talking about exactly.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#167

Post by MuffinFlavored »

xupybd wrote: post #127
MuffinFlavored wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

No but there are social queues for this. Flirting is exactly that. Friendly small talk to see if the other person is receptive or not. If you're like me and are probably slightly autistic with very little social interaction growing up, then you'll be terrible at that. Perhaps this is the problem. A large number of socially awkward guys are joining these classes irritating all the young women.

The comment right below you is "the default should be don't hit on me" (in all caps) which kind of translates to "the default should be don't flirt with me", doesn't it?

isn't flirting a form of hitting on somebody?

which one of you is right? i have no clue

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#168

Post by SpeedilyDamage »

dymk wrote: post #84
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

Birth rates are tanking because of increased access to contraceptives and people having the wealth and freedom to enjoy their 20s and 30s unburdened by children

My wife and I are having a very hard time convincing ourselves to have kids for exactly this reason.

We're wealthy, free to pursue our hobbies, and advance in our careers. Nobody's body is getting wrecked, nobody's free time and sleep is getting upended, and it's generally a Very Good Time.

Both having kids and not having kids feels selfish for different reasons. It's hard to really feel like there's a right answer here.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#169

Post by bee_rider »

wilsonnb3 wrote: post #74
nhchris wrote: post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

Nobody cares if college students try to date other students from their classes. It is weird when people take a class specifically because of that reason though. It is even weirder when the class in question is something that they have a very high skill level in specifically so that they will be able leverage that into some kind of situation that leads to dating. This is pretty cut and dry to me, I am not sure why so…

If nothing else, it sounds like there’s an unproductive amount of auditing going on, especially if it is causing disruptive behavior.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#170

Post by kweinber »

This is an economics problem and this teacher should work with their Econ department to change the rules for course auditing and increase reputational costs to disincentive this behavior. A few options: 1) Make auditing those classes more expensive by limiting the total number of courses a student can audit, or capping the number of students that can audit those courses. 2) Make auditing a remote-only class option. 3) Give lectures on how to spot this behavior which will make the perpetrators obvious and undesirable. 4)Have a no-dating policy between students within the same class under penalty of failure. 5) Couple course participation with a mandatory internship at a STEM company (something a serious student would want but a time-suck for a fake student).

The economics department might enjoy testing these policy changes and could get some papers out of them.

(I wish I could have posted on the original site but I need some sort of karma to do that)

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