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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#62
post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#63
post #15

People can tsk tsk this, but it's damn hard to find a mate if you are not in the top 20% of (straight) men, and basically requires you to be aggressive like this. You may be praised for being a "nice guy" by being passive, but it will not get you dates.

As a woman, I can speak on experience that women will run away from any space men try to invade to seek us, whether it's dating apps, classes, bars, etc. The last thing I want is for a horde of thirsty men to chase me.

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#64
post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

That wasn't my reading. It seemed like the instructor was not thrilled that her course was being audited by showboaters, who were interested in meeting/impressing women as opposed to learning.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#65
post #33

I suspect that if you just announced this fact to the women in the class - either officially, if that doesn't get you in trouble, or under the table if it would - then the problem would basically solve itself. Certainly no males in the class would be getting dates.

Girls must be protected from being asked out at all costs because they are strong and independent future girl-bosses.

The real issue was pointed out by the professor herself, that only attractive women were being offered tutoring and getting attention. The ones complaining were jaded by the competition.

I don't see how there is any issue with this if the men were respectful and didn't actually make unwanted advances. Why does the professor (a woman) feel like women are stupid, or need to be coddled? I can't think of anything more disrespectful to empowering women than assuming they don't possess the agency to make calculated decisions on their own.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#66
post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

THE DEFAULT IS "please don't hit on me right now"

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#67
post #22

If a male engineering student chooses, say, a drama elective in hopes of meeting more women, that's fine as long as he takes the class seriously and treats fellow students with respect. He might even learn something. But someone with a strong math background shouldn't be allowed in a 100-level math for liberal arts students class, regardless of motive.

Language classes typically prohibit students from taking the class if it's one of their native languages or they're above some skill level. On the other hand, STEM classes are wide-ranging enough that even someone with a graduate degree in math and computer science might benefit from taking physics 101.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#68
post #43

> This might be hard, as no unwanted advances are taking place. We simply have students excelling at the course, and drawing-in a crowd. I should've been more clear with my "leching" comment. Still, it seems harassing in nature. It seems increasingly that society demands a world where dating only happens during designated and approved dating times and venues, and outside those strictly delimited places, men are to be…

eh, there's really no good signal for women to display that says "hey, i'm open to being hit on right now" or "please don't hit on me right now"

Maybe that's what we should work on instead, along with making hitting on people acceptable for women too. That way, it's not just a male thing, and people can still indicate they want to be left alone.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#69

Am I understanding correctly that some students took the publicly published racial/gender/diversity data for the college and basically made an app advertising "here are all of the women taking college seriously and pursuing STEM courses, so you can maybe find a sugar mama?" Why would a female smart enough to pass college level STEM classes fall for that "bro" logic? How is this successful at all?

"100-level science and mathematics" classes don't really qualify as college-level. They're basically remedial high school classes.
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