Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

researchgate.net

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

41–50 of 806 posts

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#41

Post by flatline »

itsmemattchung wrote: post #4

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

The perceived imbalance in likes is not really the problem, it’s just the difference in social norms across genders. OLD is not terribly easy for men or women, let alone NB folks. Women have to sort through all those men, while men have to swipe on tons of women. There are also more men on the sites. The result is low quality matches all around because men are incentivized to swipe on everyone. Women will have an easier time just obtaining sex, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be any good, and it’s not what most women are looking for, for numerous reasons.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#42

Post by altairprime »

klyrs wrote: post #9

[flagged]

Resolve the economic equality issues that halted wage growth in the 80s, so that the non-executives see pay increases matching inflation; and cap tuitions for all schools to be affordable at local minimum wage rates, to stop the disparity between white-collar and blue-collar workers from driving men to quit paid work.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#43

Post by jurassic »

There are a lot of factors at play here. Porn is ubiquitous which reduces the number of people looking for real-life hookups to satisfy their immediate urges. Awareness of the health risks (STDs, etc) of having many partners has probably never been higher. And the economic stakes of an unwanted pregnancy are higher than they've ever been due to increasing restrictions on abortion.

If porn were outlawed, contraception was free, and abortion was legal everywhere, I think you would see a lot more young people getting out there and having a good time.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#44

Post by [deleted] »

itsmemattchung wrote: post #4

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

[deleted]

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#45

Post by RajT88 »

klyrs wrote: post #9

[flagged]

> Lol religious conservatives.

This is the solvable part. They don't run the country; they're a minority.

> Encourage men to have sex with men?

Religion is a fig leaf here. The dislike of LGBTQ+ people is retroactively justified by religion, but it just isn't about religion. If it really was about religion, there'd be a lot more weird hills they'd be dying on, since most of the Anti-Gay stuff is in the Old Testament, and there's a lot of stuff in the OT that they seem perfectly comfortable ignoring. (For example: Crustaceans are not allowed as a food, Leviticus 11:9-12)

"They just don't like gay people" is too simplistic as well. My theory is that gay men, as well as trans women are a subversion of traditional gender roles which is why conservatives get worked up about it.

Trans men and lesbians of course get some ire too from conservatives, but it feels like an afterthought.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#46

Post by onlyrealcuzzo »

dtx1 wrote: post #12
f-securus wrote: post #5

Legalize prostitution and regulate safety and perhaps incels would build confidence and learn to socialize a bit from paid sexual interactions? I'm kind of ignorant to the subject of what is the cause of 'sexual loneliness' but I believe the world's oldest profession shouldn't be pushed into the shadows as that causes more problems than it prevents.

I dont think prostitution can fix that issue in the slightest. Here in Germany prostitution is legal and highly regulated (to the point that there are ticket stations for prostitutes working on the street to pay taxes). I would however never ever consider using those services.

> I would however never ever consider using those services.

Maybe because you don't need or want to?

If you're the type of person that wants to have sex with someone, and you're willing to pay for it, and you have the option - you're probably going to.

If not, you're either expecting too much for too little compensation or regulation is preventing the market from being efficient.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#47

Post by guerrilla »

LesZedCB wrote: post #29
CSSer wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe you two should try it together for fun? Pro tip: You should probably agree to swipe right on everyone indiscriminately to avoid a potential argument. Not so pro disclaimer: I'm single and not married, so your mileage may vary. Please report back for... research purposes. :)

unless you're already accustomed to jealousy management via some sort of ENM, it's probably unwise.

if his wife is pretending to be him this shouldn't be an issue.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#48

Post by andrewclunn »

You are not owed sex or intimacy. To men: want to be desired by other people? make yourself more desirable. As for women in this situation, that is largely self imposed because their sex drives are lower and they are often in denial about how their attractiveness declines with age, and are unable to adjust their expectations to match.

In the modern dating / hookup culture young men and older women are the clear losers. Men are figuring this out and largely either going full anti-women "red pill rage" into "$!tches aint shit" using women when they're older or opting out all together. Women party it up when young, and are then shocked only when the "good times" start to end as younger ladies supplant them.

The age old solution throughout the ages, has been to control female sexuality with shame (often enforced by other women). This is now considered unthinkable, despite the surge in single parent homes, massive decline in birth rates, increased loneliness and decreased happiness by all. So instead sex bots, prostitution, more welfare, and artificial wombs are promoted as the only politically tenable out. I think the future shall be inherited by the Amish, Mormons, and other such groups that have managed to find ways to maintain family units in opposition to modern culture. They're certainly the only ones breeding at above replacement levels.

TLDR: in practice based religion beats out free love in providing more sex, without all the messy fatherlessness and STD problems to boot.

Re: Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

#49

Post by yibg »

cuuupid wrote: post #28
itsmemattchung wrote: post #4

> One possible aid for sexual loneliness might come from online dating apps such as Tinder. In theory, online dating could provide an efficient way to find a partner. However, online dating divides people heavily into winners and losers – perhaps even more so than traditional dating. While women can get attention from thousands of men online in just a few hours, men are lucky if anyone is interested in them My wife d…

To be fair this is not entirely due to social dynamics but rather due to MatchGroup companies following identical monetization patterns. They’re just capitalizing on male desperation and artificially widening or narrowing the gap depending on how much you pay. If you observe the actual dating climate it’s nowhere near this bad and in larger cities like NYC it can even be closer to 1:1. Rather than a social problem th…

I don't know if that's true. From most data I've seen women's preferences skew towards a small percentage of men. i.e. most women want the same guys, which are the small minority. This leaves (making up numbers) 80% of women wanting 20% of men. Where as men tend to be less discriminating in their choices of women.
Post reply on HN