Sexual loneliness: A neglected public health problem?

Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity in a good read on this topic.

People are pretty self-centered and prone to sensationalism so I think most people didn't hear the contraction "incel" until there were some high-profile killings a few years ago.

That article tells a story very similar to what some incels tell, which is that men who are at the top of desirability have more access to a range of partners than they ever did while men who are average and below frequently get nothing. People blame dating sites like Tinder for this as women now get to be choosier in the short term, but in the long term they find they can't get men to commit to them because the men that they choose on Tinder don't have any reason to commit to them, a situation written up in

https://www.themarginalian.org/2016/03/22/why-love-hurts-eva...

(I would love to get Eva Illouz in a conversation with a blackpiller like Wheat Waffles as the situations they describe look like two sides of the same coin to me.)

In general people make policy based on looking in the rear view mirror and nowhere is this more pernicious than in gender issues where the fact that boys are dropping out of education and men dropping out of work are only barely starting to get attention after having been worsening trends for 30 years. The "standard model" of intersectionality really gets things wrong because the assumptions that "Men do better than women" and "Whites do better than blacks" don't compose to make black women particularly wretched, instead you find black women don't do nearly as bad as black men because it is black men who seem to be on a conveyor belt from the cradle to prison.

I would predict that being able to afford a nice apartment in a good area close to date locations will easily 10x your sex chances.

There have been other studies about young men struggling to find jobs that pay well enough for them to become financially independent, and there's been a lot of discussions about Hikkomori and the Japanese Grasseaters movement, which is basically older guys that refuse to move out of their parent's home.

My overall impression is that a bad economy and bad job market makes it difficult for young men to become independent and that makes it extremely difficult for them to become sexually active. Because despite all progress with regards to gender equality, the overwhelming majority of girls prefers to date a guy who can afford a nice shirt and a nice appartment.

Pro tip: You should probably agree to swipe right on everyone indiscriminately to avoid a potential argument.

Not so pro disclaimer: I'm single and not married, so your mileage may vary. Please report back for... research purposes. :)