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Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

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Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#341

Post by guano___ »

spoiler wrote: post #333
rrrrrrrrrrrryan wrote: post #324

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For anyone who doesn't know the context: This quote is literal fascist rhetoric to promote machismo and contempt for the weak. It might resonate the first time you hear it (most good propaganda does), but if you contemplate it for more than 10 seconds and you'll realize it's obviously untrue.

Why does it have to be interpreted as fascist rhetoric? What propaganda does it embed? Why does everything have to revolve around hatred? Also, you don't have to be macho or physically strong to be strong. That just seems like your own bias leaking into the discussion. That it might promote contempt for weakness might be true, though, and it didn't cross my mind. I don't like that it does that. At the same time I don…

I'm not sure about fascism, but there's a lot of historical context to the quote.

Bret Devereaux has a series of posts where he delves into the history of the idea behind the meme - https://acoup.blog/2020/01/17/collections-the-fremen-mirage-...

It's a thoroughly interesting debunking, and in part IIIb, he talks about how the trope was used to promote racial purity and superiority.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#342

Post by [deleted] »

tarotuser wrote: post #147
nscalf wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not sure why you're getting downvoted, this is clearly correct. I still have many friends that I formed from working in the same office. For most American adults, the group you spend most of your time with is your coworkers. If you don't have a group hobby or activity outside of work, you have no mechanism to cycle new people in to your life in a setting which easily allows relationship building. There's a reason peo…

> For most American adults, the group you spend most of your time with is your coworkers. And that also guarantees that when you leave the company, you also leave your "friends". I wholly reject intertwining work and professional relationships with friend relationships. I certainly won't be mean to my colleagues... but my closest colleague is 600mi away. And that's OK. I do spend a bit of time with local groups for d…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#343

Post by twelve40 »

for me it ebbs and flows depending on my current circle and other things. My mid 20s-30s we didn't go out at all, just doing the family thing. Then we clicked with a bunch of people nearby and started hanging out every single week with parties on every occasion and everything, even through covid. Post covid a bunch of people moved and it seems to have died down again.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#344

Post by tubatime »

vpilcx wrote: post #278
motohagiography wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. It's not condescending if your issues are in fact discretionary. I travel with someone who will die within an hour of exposure to peanuts, regularly spend time with people in their 80's and 90s who have been on deaths door for years, rid…

"Different people have different risk tolerances and people with lower risk tolerances disgust me." Okay, gotcha.

This attitude has become so much more prevalent as well — hot take culture, focused on “dunking” and thereby looking better/smarter/whatever than the “competition”. Totally exhausting and another reason, perhaps, gathering with semi-strangers is less fun.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#345

Post by r00fus »

uxp100 wrote: post #129

The best parties I ever went to were when I was in my early teens and my parents were in their late 40s. Massive bonfires, kids running all over playing hide and seek on 20 acres, adults and older teens with impromptu softball games, elaborate plays written to commemorate the party (not necessarily well written, but included wacky stunts!). Parents sneaking off to smoke weed and getting a little weird. The weather ju…

I kinda remember these same kinds of parties at a similar age and honestly I don't think you need 20 acres for it either. Just a someone's backyard (or neighborhood) or a community center - I remember all of those fondly.

I have a feeling this post-pandemic period will be uncertain for a while but will swing back into more social in a year or two.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#346

Post by halkony »

narrator wrote: post #305
motohagiography wrote: post #184

I don't invite people over anymore because their fussiness scales negatively - where if you want to mix 5 people who each have a rule about what they cannot abide, the common denominator is rarely special enough to leave the house for. Between the discretionary lifestyle demands of vegetarians, vegans, non-glutens, non-porks, non-drinkers, anti-smokers, non-problematics, non-outdoorsies, hover-parents, maskers, and t…

For me, I find parties at the niche conventions I go to the most fun. At these conventions are tons of like minded people who are into the same weird stuff and it's easy to do get togethers after days at speakers and exhibits and have great conversations. The problem with the modern world is people who live next to each other aren't really forced to be in the same culture. Especially in big cities, everyone plugs in…

I think that's a pretty good observation. The real trouble is finding a common interest when cultural boundaries are incredibly fluid. And there's plenty of competition for your attention span (including the attention span required for the prep/commitment involved with parties).

I've considered going to DEFCON or that one quirky convention at CMU to network in my niche.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#347

Post by QUrprUd1nCeicw »

j0hnyl wrote: post #311
QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has health problems that forcibly put me in at least a few of those "discretionary lifestyle demands," it's a little condescending for you to just dismiss it later as "neuroticism and anxiety about maintaining purity." The worst is probably COVID-related -- immunocompromised people have been complaining for these past couple of years about how the world just stopped taking COVID seriously and they stil…

No offense, but you are the extreme minority. Given the average social circle, there might not even be a single person that fits that mold. What's stopping everyone else from getting together? It's not because they're worried about bringing covid home to to their wife because her sister in-law is compromised.

I don't need a reminder I'm in the extreme minority, my whole life is a reminder of that every single day.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#348

Post by ryandrake »

sahila wrote: post #271
ryandrake wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At least in the US, extreme political polarization has also made it so ~40% of people won't even hang out or party with another ~40% of people, and vice versa. I've got friends on both sides, and I'd never be able to host a successful party that included them all. People can't leave that shit at home anymore.

I don’t understand why should people “leave that shit at home”? I’m not defending the parent example of a friend being progressive and criticizing others while engaging in similar wasteful behavior, but if you really believe in something, doesn’t it hurt to see the opposite? I suppose most people’s views in the US are superficial and team based in which case then I agree.

I think it's the whole etiquette of "Don't discuss religion or politics in polite company." If you really passionately believe in some political figure or religious thing, that's great. Other people don't, and I'm hosting a party for everyone to have fun, not just for believers. So, for the sake of getting along, leave it behind. Surely even passionate people can avoid talking about these topics for the mere 2 or so hours they spend trying to have fun!

I nearly had to throw someone out of a pool party being hosted for a bunch of 10 year old kids. The kids were all having a blast, but Mister Politics just couldn't stop talking about and inserting his political views. In this particular case I was in agreement with him, but it doesn't matter. This shit doesn't belong at an event that's supposed to be fun.

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#349

Post by QUrprUd1nCeicw »

motohagiography wrote: post #265
QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #209

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who has health problems that forcibly put me in at least a few of those "discretionary lifestyle demands," it's a little condescending for you to just dismiss it later as "neuroticism and anxiety about maintaining purity." The worst is probably COVID-related -- immunocompromised people have been complaining for these past couple of years about how the world just stopped taking COVID seriously and they stil…

A generation of immunocompromised guys with AIDS built the entire electronic music and rave scene in the 80s and 90s, the fashion business, and most of the culture you consume today. It's not condescending if your issues are in fact discretionary. I travel with someone who will die within an hour of exposure to peanuts, regularly spend time with people in their 80's and 90s who have been on deaths door for years, rid…

I'm really not sure what point you're trying to make here. Every example you gave is someone "managing" at their own expense. When an immunocompromised person gets sick from a rave, no one else suffers directly from that. Of course you can "manage" that way up until the moment you die. You can't get upset when society changes and some of those people decide the expense of "managing" isn't worth it any more.

I mean, come on. Just think about this. We've heard so much of this over the last few years like "some people died from the flu before, so you should accept you likely may die from COVID." Would you really say that to the face of an immunocompromised person?

Re: Ask HN: Where are all the parties?

#350

Post by j0hnyl »

QUrprUd1nCeicw wrote: post #347
j0hnyl wrote: post #311

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No offense, but you are the extreme minority. Given the average social circle, there might not even be a single person that fits that mold. What's stopping everyone else from getting together? It's not because they're worried about bringing covid home to to their wife because her sister in-law is compromised.

I don't need a reminder I'm in the extreme minority, my whole life is a reminder of that every single day.

My point is in response to you saying that you find OP's sentiment condescending when it's clearly not even targeted at the few people that have these real issues.
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