Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

twitter.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

201–210 of 344 posts

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#201

Post by falcolas »

lotsofpulp wrote: post #193
falcolas wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

Not 99.9%, maybe 80% based on income statistics.

I guess that really depends. Paying back $7,000 without interest would still be a $300 monthly payment for 2 years.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#203

Post by HeyLaughingBoy »

asveikau wrote: post #58
fdye wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same. Several years ago I had an ex-GF of sorts reach out to me in SF. She was passing through and wanted to say hi, etc. I had a couple hours before my shift at a bar I worked at so I swung by where she was, bought her a drink, etc. Immediately could tell she was in a bad place, looked like her occasional drug use had become a permanent, more hard kind. About halfway through the drink was a clumsy come on and a push…

> She thought I was crazy and was laughing cause I had been conned by an ex. I then explained if I never saw my $40 again it was money well spent. One less person in my life bringing with it their chaos I was surprised by some of this, especially this last part. Firstly, $40 is not a lot of money. Hardly a "big con". Second, I think the "money well spent" part is that you helped her in some small amount, when it was…

> Firstly, $40 is not a lot of money. Hardly a "big con".

I offered my seat on the subway to a young woman about my age who looked very tired. She didn't say anything, or even look in my direction: she just seemed like she was having a difficult time. She said "yes, thank you" and I got up.

When I got up, the dude I was standing next to whispered in my ear "can't believe you let yourself get conned out of your seat like that."

Some people just don't want others to be helped I guess.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#204

Post by jahlove »

8f2ab37a-ed6c wrote: post #18

Seems like the case of wealth that cannot be hidden from one's circles (and the outside world) due to him being so well known as a person in tech at the time of Doom's cultural zenith and being in the news cycle so often. I wonder if most often the smart move is to make sure that one's sudden acquisition of wealth (say the sale of a startup-now-a-successful-scaleup) is hidden from one's even closest circles to avoid…

[–]BlakeClass ... 8 years ago

> you might consider picking another G7 or otherwise mainstream country other than the U.S. according to where you want to live if the United States dissolves into anarchy or Britney Spears is elected to the United States Senate.

Things can (and did) get much worse with our national politics than Britney being elected to the Senate.

> You know you will be getting $638,400 per year unless the capital building is burning

Or even IF the capital building is burning.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#205

Post by falcolas »

whatshisface wrote: post #197
notyourwork wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The financial disconnect in tech versus the rest of society is crazy. Casually handing out $7k is a wild statement for most of the world.

But that's irrelevant, it was not a big loan for the OP.

It was for the recipient. And the recipient is the one who'll be feeling the pinch (stress, anger, etc) of paying it back.

    $7,000 / 24 = $300 (roughly an extra car payment)

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#206

Post by andrewstuart »

I started my first business when I was 25 back in the 1990s.

It had successes but in the end it went under after about 4 or 5 years operation.

I had to borrow from several friends to avoid being bankrupted.

Maybe around $80,000, which was alot of money at the time. The friends universally said "mate I don't care if you never pay it pack, you just sort out what you need to with it."

Paying the money back became my only life mission. Everything I did was focused on paying that money back.

It took me more than 5 years and I paid every cent back with 10% interest on top.

I operate on the principle that no-one should ever be worse off for backing me. I want people to see me as a person of integrity. Looking after the interests of others who have backed you should be your primary driver.

I can talk about it easily now as it's 25 years down the track, but the whole experience at the time was traumatic.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#208

Post by cmrdporcupine »

Scoundreller wrote: post #3

Meanwhile, I go through life wondering if I borrowed $20 from someone and forgot to pay them back for months and kinda hope they would just say something if I did.

Exactly, I don't tend to lend small quantities of money to people because I just assume other people are just as terrible at remembering these things as I am.

I'd rather just give money or buy meals now and then rather than have complicated obligations.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#209

Post by snshn »

I remember being over $4K in debt in my mid-20s, sleeping on the floor under a desk in my friend's office and showering every morning at a gym a couple of subway stops away. I was evicted from my tiny studio after getting laid off, and couldn't find anything during summer time, was at first recovering from a severe burnout, and also everything is super slow during those months.

My first paycheck paid off all that debt, a couple weeks later I was living in a 1-bedroom apt minutes away from work. I had about $15K in my bank and that's when my self-employed friend needed money to pay rent so he could focus on and make his company successful. I ended up Venmo-ing him more than that (more money than I ever had before in my life back then) over next couple of months, so that he didn't have to stop working on his business and lay bricks instead, or do anything else but making his business a successful company. A couple of months later he got a large order and never struggled since. He's still working on increasing his sales and getting more clients, on a verge of becoming a millionaire. I get to do work and make money creating software for his company, so it wasn't just helping a friend, but a future (now current) source of income for me as well. I wouldn't give money if I see the person lacks good morals or is an idiot, that never pays back. But looking back and asking myself, "what did I do that year?", I always feel happy that it cost me less than $20K to help save my friend's business and make sure he doesn't ever get his time wasted by idiot bosses or managers.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#210

Post by sillysaurusx »

falcolas wrote: post #185
sillysaurusx wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship. Sure, there should be some consequences for not paying it back, but incessant mockery and refusal to pay for McDonald's is probably a fair exchange. "Give people lots of leeway, but only once" has worked out well so far. People can't fool you into making a big mistake twice, and once is just the cost of doing business^W^Wfriendship. On the othe…

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

Sure. I didn't mean $7k specifically, but rather . Why loan someone a truckload of cash you can't afford to lose? It's kind of your fault at that point.

We helped my sister in law afford a down payment on a house. She still hasn't gotten a house after 6 months. Am I a bit miffed? Sure. But breaking off a friendship over a down payment seems absurd.

Life happens, and people tend to take a little while to figure it out. Who cares, it's not like we can take the money with us when we go to the next life anyway.

Post reply on HN