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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#191

Post by notyourwork »

falcolas wrote: post #185
sillysaurusx wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship. Sure, there should be some consequences for not paying it back, but incessant mockery and refusal to pay for McDonald's is probably a fair exchange. "Give people lots of leeway, but only once" has worked out well so far. People can't fool you into making a big mistake twice, and once is just the cost of doing business^W^Wfriendship. On the othe…

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

The financial disconnect in tech versus the rest of society is crazy. Casually handing out $7k is a wild statement for most of the world.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#193

Post by lotsofpulp »

falcolas wrote: post #185
sillysaurusx wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship. Sure, there should be some consequences for not paying it back, but incessant mockery and refusal to pay for McDonald's is probably a fair exchange. "Give people lots of leeway, but only once" has worked out well so far. People can't fool you into making a big mistake twice, and once is just the cost of doing business^W^Wfriendship. On the othe…

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

Not 99.9%, maybe 80% based on income statistics.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#194

Post by giraffe_lady »

RjQoLCOSwiIKfpm wrote: post #182
giraffe_lady wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nothing is your job except your job, but how impoverished would your life, family and your community be if everyone stuck to strictly that? You might be right on the specifics in this case, I'll abstain from making judgement. But as a guideline, as a framework, "it's not your job" is monstrously insufficient.

We're talking primarily about people who don't pay their debts here. There's no loss to my life if these people remove themselves from it. They're thieves in disguise, nothing more. No value is lost if they leave. And in fact, because money is stored time, my life becomes MORE if they leave, because I lose less of the time of my life to them.

grim way to think of people but ok have fun

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#195

Post by eutropia »

adql wrote: post #7

Well it took me borrowing one video game to learn that lesson. "No, you must've borrowed it to someone else" when I asked. First game I bought for my own pocket money, which at time, in Poland, was a lot for a kid as it was full price title, Baldur's Gate 1 in nice box with manual and a map, and dubbed gloriously with then-radio/TV stars, hell, the narrator voice was better than original. Needless to say I was pretty…

CD Projekt Red's original great work: bringing Baldur's Gate to Poland. :)

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#196

Post by RussianCow »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #175
luxuryballs wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The risk of them not being able to pay you back and thus destroying the friendship is so high that I wouldn’t recommend this unless you are ok with losing that person as a friend OR you just give them the money without expectation of it being paid back.

If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship. Sure, there should be some consequences for not paying it back, but incessant mockery and refusal to pay for McDonald's is probably a fair exchange. "Give people lots of leeway, but only once" has worked out well so far. People can't fool you into making a big mistake twice, and once is just the cost of doing business^W^Wfriendship. On the othe…

> If $7k destroys a friendship, it's not really that close of a friendship.

This is easy to say if you're a software engineer at a top tier company making a solid six-figure salary, but $7k is an enormous amount of money for the vast majority of people. I think I would significantly hurt my relationships if I failed to pay back $7k to any of my friends.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#197

Post by whatshisface »

notyourwork wrote: post #191
falcolas wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

$7k is an absurd amount of money for 99.9% of the US (Recall the statistics on who has at least 3 months of income saved up? This is a similar amount of cash to have available). I've seen good friendships lost over a lot less money than that. I agree with the parent - don't give it with the expectation of receiving it back. Save everyone the heartache.

The financial disconnect in tech versus the rest of society is crazy. Casually handing out $7k is a wild statement for most of the world.

But that's irrelevant, it was not a big loan for the OP.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#198

Post by maccard »

AceJohnny2 wrote: post #151
adql wrote: post #7

Well it took me borrowing one video game to learn that lesson. "No, you must've borrowed it to someone else" when I asked. First game I bought for my own pocket money, which at time, in Poland, was a lot for a kid as it was full price title, Baldur's Gate 1 in nice box with manual and a map, and dubbed gloriously with then-radio/TV stars, hell, the narrator voice was better than original. Needless to say I was pretty…

There's a difference. As the quote goes: "don't loan something you can't afford to lose". Carmack, it seems, was comfortable with not being paid back.

> Carmack, it seems, was comfortable with not being paid back.

That's not how I read the tweet, at all.

> It was a learning experience for me, calibrating some general people behavior. I don’t think anyone intended to not pay me back, but things often just don’t work out the way you plan

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#199

Post by luxuryballs »

themitigating wrote: post #164
luxuryballs wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The risk of them not being able to pay you back and thus destroying the friendship is so high that I wouldn’t recommend this unless you are ok with losing that person as a friend OR you just give them the money without expectation of it being paid back.

If a friend can't pay you back for legitimate reasons, which I admit are subjective, you shouldn't let it affect your friendship. If it does it says more about you than the friend

you’d be surprised, better just to give them the money and if they pay you back it’s just a bonus

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#200

Post by RjQoLCOSwiIKfpm »

giraffe_lady wrote: post #194
RjQoLCOSwiIKfpm wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

We're talking primarily about people who don't pay their debts here. There's no loss to my life if these people remove themselves from it. They're thieves in disguise, nothing more. No value is lost if they leave. And in fact, because money is stored time, my life becomes MORE if they leave, because I lose less of the time of my life to them.

grim way to think of people but ok have fun

It's the view of someone who has lost over $10k to "I'll pay it back!!!" people - they haven't payed back in 10 years now.

And they left behind truckloads of trash.

How much have you lost to those?

I would speculate once you get to a sum this significant your perspective would change ;)

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