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I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

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Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#111

Post by a4isms »

monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

I do not loan money to people, ever. I will give money to people I know to help them out from time to time.

Sometimes people ask for a loan and insist they will repay me. Fine, I will call it a loan because that's what helps them frame things in their own heads. If they repay me, also fine, why would I turn down free money?

But for my own peace of mind, I think of these things as gifts to help a good person out. If I don't think of them as loans, I don't find myself chasing former friends for repayment.

I am not a bank. I am not a debt collector. I do not wish to become a bank or debt collector as a side hustle. If you ask me for more money than I can afford to gve you without repayment, it is far less stressful to say "no" and get the conflict over with on the spot.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#112

Post by ars »

gernb wrote: post #27
monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

It's very generous of you. I'd like to point out my experience of taking the loan and never repaying it. I felt guilty for decades and more distant from the loaner. They never brought it up but my guilty mind did. So I'm not 100% sure it was a net positive for our relationship. If I was to do loan money and they didn't pay back in some reasonable amount of time I think I'd tell them explicitly it was a gift. Though I…

It's not too late to repay them. You'll feel better, and so will they. Adjust for inflation if it's really been decades.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#113

Post by racl101 »

monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

> The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are already into me for more than they thought they would get, they won’t come back, and I don’t look like a jerk.

This only works if the people have fucking shame.

I have a relative who has no shame and will keep taking as much money as you'll let him take.

So I limit what i give.

He keeps saying to me it's ok if I borrow and charge him points ... but in the Christian tradition usury is a sin so I don't and though I'm not a religious person, I was raised with mainly Christians principles that I adhere to because they just seem like good principles in general to live by.

Plus I'm pretty sure if I did charge interest I'd just be disappointed when he doesn't follow through with interest payments knowing how flaky he is with his money.

I'd rather just give money and give what's comfortable.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#114

Post by lotsofpulp »

dragonwriter wrote: post #110
alach11 wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

IIRC gifts aren’t taxable unless they exceed $14,000 in a year.

There is both an annual (currently $17,000/recipient) and a lifetime (currently $12.92 million/donor) limit before the donor pays gift taxes.

The $17k per year is just a reporting limit. No taxes are owed until gifts exceed the lifetime amount, which is somewhere around $12M, or maybe $13M now as you write.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#115

Post by greyface- »

lotsofpulp wrote: post #98
FpUser wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why the heck private gifts are taxable and it is tolerated?

In the US, gifts of up to $11M or maybe $12M are not taxable.

Notably, that's a cumulative lifetime limit, not per gift or per year.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#116

Post by toast0 »

FpUser wrote: post #83
hayd wrote: post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> get $1000 from someone It's not "get" if it's a loan. The IRS might also be interested if you treat this a taxable gift rather than a loan... (unlikely they'd care for $1000).

Why the heck private gifts are taxable and it is tolerated?

Because if they weren't, I'd gift my work to my employer and they'd gift me money to live on. And there would be a similar exchange of gifts with customers and suppliers, rather than purchases and subscriptions.

The paperwork only starts when you gift one person more than $16k (2022 value) in one year, which is quite a large gift and the lifetime estate tax exemption is also very high (currently $12M), so even if you do need to file paperwork because a gift is taxable, the tax rate is likely to be 0% for almost everyone. And as much as people complain about death being taxable, most people don't have that many tears for the tax impact on people who had a $15M estate.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#117

Post by distortionfield »

alach11 wrote: post #93

I loaned a close college friend $7000 last year. Due to life circumstances and lack of family resources, he was stuck in a rural area with no developer jobs. He was having trouble landing a remote job and I ignorantly asked why he wasn’t applying to in-person jobs on the west coast. He told me that he certainly wouldn’t be able to afford to move and I told him “don’t let that stop you”. Fronting him moving expenses w…

That's legit that you helped out your friend like that. I've had people look at me like I'm crazy for doing similar things for friends. A rising tide raises all boats.

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#118

Post by cableshaft »

monero-xmr wrote: post #2

I loan money to people and never expect to be repaid. If someone asks for $2k I give them $5k. $400 give them $1k. Sometimes I get paid back. Usually not. It’s because people are aware I have money so various people ask. The goal isn’t to get paid back. Often these acquaintances cut off all contact. The goal is to never be asked for money again and slowly bled out by frequent sob stories. If they know they are alread…

I knew a person who this wouldn't deter them. We were sort of friends through a common industry, and I talked to him once in a blue moon. Gave them some money after they posted a real bad sob story on FB during the pandemic and not even a week later they asked for more (a lot more).

Kept asking me for money for some new reason every time I popped onto Facebook via Messenger until I stopped updating my active status. A bit later they deleted that profile and created a new one, and I decided not to become friends with him again.

Looking the guy up, and he was always posting GoFundMe's for some cause or family illness or another, and you'd see links to people in the industry asking for things on his behalf periodically across various websites, going back more than a decade.

I do believe he dug himself into a deep hole and he was in a hard place, but I also believe he's willing to take advantage of anyone as much and as often as possible until he can't get anything more from them, then moves on to the next person (well, probably multiple people at the same time).

So anyway, that's too fresh in my head, and I'm hesitant to give anyone money for anything right now. I've got plenty of crap going on for the forseeable future that needs a bunch of money anyway (implants, roof replacement, flooded basement, etc).

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#119

Post by richthegeek »

traceroute66 wrote: post #107
richthegeek wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

pożyczyć is both borrow and lend :) In English there's a difference of direction. "Kuba pożyczył moj długopis" - Jakub borrowed my pen "Kuba pożyczył mi jego długopos" - Jakub lent me his pen I'm learning Polish slowly, living in Warsaw...

> "Kuba pożyczył moj długopis" Surely a true Pole would say "kurwa Kuba pożyczył moj pierdolic długopis" ? ;-)

No true Pole?

Re: I went through a period where I loaned money to anyone that asked me

#120

Post by victorronin »

Ugh... This touched a nerve. Surely, if you have a semi-unlimited amount of money (way-way more than will ever be asked from you), it's easy just to loan and forget.

I think it's a much harder game for the rest of us.

Also, it has a built-in assumption that people will self-limit what they are asking. I learned the unpleasant way that people don't. At some point in my life, I had a friend who was constantly asking for smallish amounts and conveniently forgetting to return them. Each ask for definitely in the category that I didn't care whether it was returned or not, but if you accumulate all of them, it was an amount big enough to care. After numerous unpleasant interactions with the money subject, I just decided to stop this practice.

That being said, I feel like it's critical to not become too thick-skinned. Sometimes people do need help and they are truly in a bad place and dismissing their ask just based on some other problematic person is not good.

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