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I will exercise, do breathing exercises, talk through things, write, make arrangements to sleep more the following night, or just call it a day before it even really starts. Sometimes I don’t have the luxury to end early or run, but I will then try to do a little meta reflection about the situation and assess what needs improvement and or can be done on the spot to cope.
First off, I would caution anyone about doing positive affirmations, or even forced journaling exercises (e.g. gratitude journaling). These exercises are incongruent with how one see's oneself; people who are already grateful or have health self-esteem don't need to do these exercises, and those don't have them and are trying to force it on themselves only see it as a lie (subconsciously). You can't really lie to you…
Saying that people who are already grateful don’t need to do this is like saying that people who are already fit don’t need to exercise.
People who aren’t fit can do exercise to get fitter, people who are already fit can do exercise to maintain that fitness. I think the same goes for being grateful and practicing gratitude.
AFAIK Buddishm offers another way and promises that eventually these minds simply disappear, but it essentially means that the sense of "me" vanishes. It's very difficult to achieve it, though.
1. Run
2. Think about my death
3. Try to eat only food grown in the ground.
I am not alone in doing [2], in fact I found out its a national tradition in Bhutan: https://medium.com/the-ascent/in-bhutan-people-think-about-d... - it sounds strange and I am not I recommending it to everyone, but it's totally changed my mindset on life and dissolved my depression and anxiety. I find when I focus my thoughts on the fact that I will die, and I have no idea when that will be, I feel a profound deep feeling of gratitude. The small trivial things don't matter anymore.
Two the biggest dysfunctions we have in western society are worship of youth and an irrational fear of death, to the point we don't feel comfortable to speak about it. We would rather pretend it does not exist and happens to other people.
If you're able, stop doing things you don't want to do. If you hate your job, quit and find one you like, start your own business, or drop your hours and find a way to live with less. If you don't like whatever your exercise routine is, find something physical you do like doing (Winston Churchill used to walk and do bricklaying. Chuck Palahniuk has also taken to building field stone structures as a form of exercise). Obviously you should maintain discipline when undertaking difficult things, but try and identify situations in your life where you feel you don't have a choice and drilling down into whether that really is the case and taking all the steps you can to get your freedom back.
As a background, I am a software engineer, firefighter, have had tons of grief (in my emergency role, as well as personal life), moderately manage ADHD, and am prone to “thought spirals.”
When the shingles come back, you know it’s been a bad few months.
So - rather than leave work in software to game or such, I paint. Oil paint. My own or masterwork copies. I get lost in art history. I “let” the spiral happen when it needs to happen.
I know I should also exercise more. We all should.
But mostly - painting, crochet, jigsaw puzzles, wood working, my therapist, learning abt philosophy, and pretending to exercise all seem to keep me going.
But I won’t lie. There are improvements to be made. Entire months where a belief that if I walk off the face of the earth, I will let those around me down … sometimes is all that keeps me going. My biggest triggers are money (i dont have much) and what others “must” think of me.
Iterate. Note what worked. What didn’t and note that you woke up today so there is something that worked. Even if it was “stayed in bed and played minecraft all day.”
First, the physical: sleep well, eat well, practice sports Second, the surroundings: analyse your immediate surroundings, and what/who is causing stress. Toxic friends, too much alcohol, etc. Third: find a higher peace-bringing meaning. Wether it is a goal, or friendship/love, or even religion. Also: work on redundancy of your mental health. Have your 3 pillars of strength in a healthy state: work, belonging (love/fr…
One thing I'd add though is: A tidy mind. Clean up your thoughts. If there is something you don't understand or that seems inconsistent, seek understanding instead of just ignoring it. Of course you need some tradeoff, but too many people just live with constant chaos in their heads and BS-tting they way through life. By extension, your surroundings shape your thoughts. A somewhat tidied up apartment, clean kitchen sink and bathroom/toilet, fridge, desk, hard disk, inbox, those things work wonders. Doesn't have to be spotless, but chaos just distracts and creates overhead that can make you miserable.
(Obviously, some chaos sparks creativity, but there is a difference it a big box with assorted "creative" items versus not finding things on your desk because of all the crap on it.)
First, the physical: sleep well, eat well, practice sports Second, the surroundings: analyse your immediate surroundings, and what/who is causing stress. Toxic friends, too much alcohol, etc. Third: find a higher peace-bringing meaning. Wether it is a goal, or friendship/love, or even religion. Also: work on redundancy of your mental health. Have your 3 pillars of strength in a healthy state: work, belonging (love/fr…
Wow, great idea that I've never really thought about. Right now I am mostly work with a little bit of hobby and relationships and you're absolutely right that problems at work can give a disproportionate bit of mental anguish. Thanks a ton for that insight!
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sadly it's really difficult to do all three well :(
How so? lack of motivation? lack of time?