Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#271

Post by remarkEon » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:10 AM UTC

xabotage wrote: post #229

remarkEon wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Humans have tried "we believe in nothing", throughout history, and yet ... I see no Cathedrals, no beautiful songs, no art, no science, no entire civilizations built to the honor of ... nothing. >which is why people are leaving it. Attendance at TLM is increasing , not decreasing.

Why do civilizations need to be built to the honor of something? I see plenty of art and architecture created independent of any mythical deity. I can't remember the last time I listened to a popular or well-renowed song that was religious-themed. Humans create and appreciate art all the time without it. > Attendance at TLM is increasing, not decreasing. Unclear what you mean by "TLM" but church attendance at least i…

>Why do civilizations need to be built to the honor of something?

Which civilization has been built in honor of nothing?

>Unclear what you mean by "TLM" but church attendance at least in the US is decreasing.

TLM = Traditional Latin Mass.[1]

[1] https://www.crisismagazine.com/opinion/the-growth-of-the-lat...

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#272

Post by autoexec » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:14 AM UTC

UncleOxidant wrote: post #97

jasonhansel wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the last sentence is poorly phrased. The idea seems to be that overprotective parenting of children isn't harmful if those children continue to live with their parents as they enter adulthood, since their parents will be able to help them as they adjust. (Supposedly this happens in Italy.) Likewise, having children move out when they become adults isn't harmful if those children have grown up with the ability…

> if those children continue to live with their parents as they enter adulthood, since their parents will be able to help them as they adjust. (Supposedly this happens in Italy.) I lived in Italy for a while and yes this does happen. Kids often continue to live with their parents well into their 30s. But this is mostly due to a shortage of new housing.

> Kids often continue to live with their parents well into their 30s. But this is mostly due to a shortage of new housing.

That just seems really awkward. By their 30s people are often having kids of their own! Does italy have something like love hotels for teens and young adults who don't want to make out with their parents in the next room?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#273

Post by Mikeb85 » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:14 AM UTC

olalonde wrote: post #61

Mikeb85 wrote: post #36

It's because there's nothing for them to look forward to. People keep asking why is X group struggling? And there's been enough articles about different groups that X is basically nearly everyone. Things are not getting better for anyone except the extremely wealthy.

That's objectively false for almost any metric you can come up with. Maybe the problem is that media gives such distorted view of reality?

Single earners with no post-secondary education used to be able to be a sole earner and afford a stay at home spouse, car, home and kids.

You can't say "oh that's false" whilst giving no examples when it's extremely well known that life is getting extremely expensive, all the iPhones in the world don't actually make it better.

Here's a well known metric: https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/11/politics/millennials-income-s...

And it's getting worse... Homes less affordable, entering recession, less socialeconomic mobility, etc...

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#274

Post by seba_dos1 » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:21 AM UTC

missedthecue wrote: post #234

lostmsu wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From my sample of 1 young adults no longer fight to be treated like grown-ups. Moreover, don't seem to want that in the first place.

I also see this very widespread! Young adults today seem to hold desperately onto parts of their youth. Entertainment, experiences, lifestyles, even food and clothing. When I was a kid, it was a scramble to get your driver's license as soon as you were legally old enough. Today I know so many 22 year olds without a license and zero interest in getting it. Where has the ambition gone?

> Where has the ambition gone?

To be honest, I made my driving license pretty much as soon as I could, but now I don't understand what for. I have never really used it. I don't think I have driven a car for the last 10 years at all in fact, and if I wanted to get a car and start driving now I'm pretty sure I would have to take lessons again, so not being "ambitious" in this regard seems like a perfectly sensible choice to me. My partner had pretty much the exact same experience with their driving license as I did.

(as is probably easy to guess, I don't live in the US)

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#275

Post by refurb » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:22 AM UTC

rychco wrote: post #221

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

Not really.

I grew up in the suburbs. Nothing but houses and maybe a strip mall 2 miles away.

By the time I was 12 I was allowed to bike wherever. We rode all day long, to the strip mall, the even bigger mall (3 miles away), to each other’s houses, to hiking trails, etc.

It was a great childhood. Lots of autonomy and a safe environement.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#276

Post by 29athrowaway » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:26 AM UTC

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

Independent thinking/critical thinking is valued in education, but punished in the workplace. The workplace is all about authority and dogma.

Each management decision establishes an authoritative truth which diverges from "the truth", and cannot be questioned because it is enforced by the company hierarchy.

If you grew up believing in the scientific method you will be frustrated as fuck having to deal with axioms created by people that are not necessarily intellectually inclined and are not up to discussion.

Having to spend time inside a castle of lies (i.e.: a company) is a miserable form of living, and much of the workplace burnout affecting people is due to learned helplessness.

You are hired to solve problems but then find yourself in a position where you cannot do much about many of them because of bullshit reasons beyond your control, and that the root cause of many problems are the organization itself.

Companies are a shitty version of the movie Die Welle with the only difference being that the uniform are not white shirts but a t-shirt with a startup logo. And that's also why many people do not want to return to the office.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#277

Post by goblinux » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:31 AM UTC

kmlx wrote: post #139

_mme wrote: post #22

I‘m 42. Here‘s my advice to someone half my age. Have conflicts. Put your heart into it. If you loose, you receive some truth. If you win you give some truth. The outcome does not matter if it means you grow. Go eat or drink together as if nothing happened.

> loose since a few years ago i’ve noticed a trend where people write “loose” (not firmly or tightly fixed in place; detached or able to be detached. "a loose tooth") instead of “lose” (be deprived of or cease to have or retain (something). "I've lost my appetite") does anyone know what’s going on?

i think it’s because choose and chose are pronounced different from loose and lose- but autocorrect has no idea the difference or context of use and so people throw whatever out there

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#278

Post by lostmsu » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:35 AM UTC

missedthecue wrote: post #234

lostmsu wrote: post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

From my sample of 1 young adults no longer fight to be treated like grown-ups. Moreover, don't seem to want that in the first place.

I also see this very widespread! Young adults today seem to hold desperately onto parts of their youth. Entertainment, experiences, lifestyles, even food and clothing. When I was a kid, it was a scramble to get your driver's license as soon as you were legally old enough. Today I know so many 22 year olds without a license and zero interest in getting it. Where has the ambition gone?

It's not like I stopped playing the games I played in school age, or stopped liking the foods I liked when I was a kid, or stopped being a lazy one in lifestyle and clothing. This is different.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#279

Post by melagonster » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:37 AM UTC

bhaney wrote: post #145

moonchrome wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The primary, actual risks to children who are roaming are those that involve law enforcement and intolerant adults. Any statistics on that ? I grew up in 90s and in a family with 5 younger siblings my mother couldn't keep up. I got hit by a car running across the street at 6 (I think I was that age). I would roam local forest and street - visiting there recently I remembered how I went to pick up my ball once and n…

I wonder about this a lot. I have a handful of similar stories about nearly dying as a child too, as do most of my friends. But none of us have any stories about knowing someone who accidentally died as a result of doing something dangerous as a kid, even though I'd expect a few of those given how dangerous we all think our childhoods were. Of course, with the reach of the Internet, I'm sure at least somebody reading…

kids died in swimming every year, maybe they are obvious examples.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#280

Post by cscurmudgeon » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 7:49 AM UTC

rychco wrote: post #221

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl. A typical child is completely incapable of going anywhere without the guidance of a car-driving parent. It is unlikely, either on foot or bike, that they are able to get to school, get to/from sports practice, meet with friends, shop at local stores, run errands, have a pa…

> The stereotypical American helicopter-parent/soccer-mom can be viewed as a direct result of poor zoning practices & the resulting suburban sprawl.

Is there any evidence for that? Because, every new HN thread seems to attack suburban "sprawl".

The reasoning seems plausible but I can also present plausible reasoning that goes the other way.