Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer? • Hacker News Board

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#91

Post by plsbenice34 » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:41 AM UTC

objetovoador wrote: post #58

yucky wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…

> Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? Precisely. The world has never been safer or as rich, and it seems like my generation is extremely lacking in independence. Everyone has to be told to do things, it's like they have no concept of what to do without being commanded. I feel like many simply can't come up with answers on…

I think you hit the nail on the head, except that the word "entitled" is completely inappropriate to describe something entirely negative.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#92

Post by meowtimemania » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:41 AM UTC

xabotage wrote: post #29

williamtrask wrote: post #4

When reading an article like this I’m distracted by the overwhelming number of possible causes. Could be life today, life 10 years ago, or expectations for the future. We don’t have sufficient data to really disentangle so many possible variables. As a youngish adult myself I’m not sure my peers know what’s going on either as they experience mental health problems. Everything is shrouded in such complicated stories a…

There is definitely a massive breakdown of old social institutions that have not adapted to the modern world. People don't need to be closely knit to their families and local religion in order to survive anymore, and they are simultaneously discovering how awful these institutions habitually are. To improve families, I imagine we'd have to wait for a significantly large generation to mature whose parents started a fa…

What is the modern replacement for religion? Growing up I felt like I had this huge tight-knit community via the mormon church. I've since left mormonism and don't think I'll ever find a replacement for the community I had in the church.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#93

Post by crooked-v » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:42 AM UTC

JoshTriplett wrote: post #83

mshake2 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Simply "disagreement" implies that there are valid opinions and perspectives to engage about. What we have now is a culture so polarized that you are literally evil to the other side if you disagree. We can't afford to have simple disagreements because if the other tribe destroys you, you need your tribe to support you. For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about.…

> For example, name something of real political consequence that it is acceptable to disagree about. "What is the most impactful way to ensure that everyone has sufficient clean water and nutritious food to survive? Would approach X or approach Y or approach Z save more lives? What other alternatives should we be considering? What are the tradeoffs and risks here? How can we hedge our bets to protect against those tr…

> Would approach X or approach Y or approach Z save more lives?

I take it you missed the stories about people being assaulted in public for wearing masks.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#94

Post by gearsandbeers » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:43 AM UTC

bostonwalker wrote: post #90

> Clinical psychologist Camilo Ortiz, a professor at Long Island University-Post, began noticing a few years ago that some of his young patients, mostly children being treated for anxiety, would “fold very quickly” at the first sign of adversity This is a perfect description of someone I met recently on a road trip with friends. From our first encounter he came off as feeling miserable and sorry for himself. He didn’…

How did he get a license?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#95

Post by UncleOxidant » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:43 AM UTC

julianeon wrote: post #82

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

So how do we be more like Germany? Presumably German parents prepare their kids early. I'm just not sure what changes this would involve parents making.

How about we just be more like the US was before about the 90s? As a kid who grew up in the 70s there's really a lot of truth to the "70's mom" memes/jokes. I could go with my buddies night fishing down on a pier on the bay about a mile away when I was 10 - we just had to be back by 10PM. That wouldn't happen now.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#96

Post by objetovoador » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:44 AM UTC

yucky wrote: post #80

Max-q wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> To be fair, I don't blame them. I think it’s fair to say that the blame is on us, the current parents generation. We have formed todays youth differently than our parents formed us.

That's a cop out, and only reinforces their internalized belief that literally nothing is their own fault. Find a Gen Z person who is fully accountable for their own actions and you will have located a unicorn. It's uncanny how in-sync that entire generation is with the idea that they are not only owed the world, but have no fault. They are crippled by the actions of "others" (whoever the others are doesn't matter -…

[flagged]

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#97

Post by UncleOxidant » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

jasonhansel wrote: post #74

bmitc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is an interesting point. Couple that with things like cost of living, cost of education, poor training and mentorship in jobs, etc. Although I’m slightly confused by the quote. How do kids in Italy get started navigating real life earlier if they live at home longer? I’m guessing the point there is that they have help in early adulthood while still living at home, but the quote, as written, is a little confusing…

I think the last sentence is poorly phrased. The idea seems to be that overprotective parenting of children isn't harmful if those children continue to live with their parents as they enter adulthood, since their parents will be able to help them as they adjust. (Supposedly this happens in Italy.) Likewise, having children move out when they become adults isn't harmful if those children have grown up with the ability…

> if those children continue to live with their parents as they enter adulthood, since their parents will be able to help them as they adjust. (Supposedly this happens in Italy.)

I lived in Italy for a while and yes this does happen. Kids often continue to live with their parents well into their 30s. But this is mostly due to a shortage of new housing.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#98

Post by bill_joy_fanboy » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:45 AM UTC

plsbenice34 wrote: post #86

yucky wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm confused. They're too broke to move away from home, but their mental health is bad because they were coddled while they were at home and now they're no longer at home and struggling, but also more of them live at home later in life than in generations past? Is it possible maybe the problem is they are just a bit too entitled on average, and when things don't go perfectly they can't cope? That's been my experience…

Harmful parenting styles lead to children that grow up to be debilitated and somehow it gets turned around to be called 'entitlement'. It's just shifting the blame from the bad parents to the child, like victim blaming.

Whenever someone uses the word "entitled", I just hear my mom.

People who participate in and contribute to society are entitled to things. They should have a sufficient wage, safe housing, food and clean water.

If I as a tax-paying, working member of society am not "entitled" to anything, why would I care about the perpetuation of the society?

If I'm not "entitled" to anything, why should I care about anything or anyone at all?

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#99

Post by dkqmduems » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:46 AM UTC

UncleOxidant wrote: post #95

julianeon wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So how do we be more like Germany? Presumably German parents prepare their kids early. I'm just not sure what changes this would involve parents making.

How about we just be more like the US was before about the 90s? As a kid who grew up in the 70s there's really a lot of truth to the "70's mom" memes/jokes. I could go with my buddies night fishing down on a pier on the bay about a mile away when I was 10 - we just had to be back by 10PM. That wouldn't happen now.

Didn't get the message? US is scary after dark.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#100

Post by OJFord » Sat, Dec 31, 2022, 1:48 AM UTC

jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

> Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college

Except American children away from home 'for college' are still exactly 'children', home with different parents. The culture of halls and canteens and the way it's funded is much more 'provided for you' than 'you're providing for yourself now'. I don't get the sense (from NA undergrads I've known, film, etc.) that much learning to cook goes on, for example. Certainly anyone living 'off-campus' and having bills to pay is in a minority.