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Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

bulwer-lytton.com

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Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#91

Post by teh_klev »

eatonphil wrote: post #74

> “Hoist the mainsail ye accursed swine” shouted the Captain over the roar of the waves as the ship was tossed like a cork dropped from a wine bottle into a jacuzzi when the faucet is wide open and the jets are running full blast and one has just settled into the water with a glass of red wine to ease the aches and pains after a day of hard labor raking leaves from the front yard. > Sir Reginald Brimwater, Guardian o…

Robert Rankin author of The Brentford Trilogy is very much in the style of Pratchett and Adams:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brentford_Trilogy

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#94

Post by dang »

GrayShade wrote: post #3

The link currently points to the 2019 winners, the correct one is: https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2022

Fixed now. Thanks! Our software uses canonical URLs when it finds them and in this case the canonical URL was https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2019. I imagine someone making the new page by copy-pasting the old one for... perhaps about 3 years now.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#95

Post by dang »

rubyron wrote: post #71

> All I can say is that I have never been so insulted (even by the likes of my moronic sister (who seems to delight in making me uncomfortable (and she is so good at it, knowing just how to push my buttons (which I think is a skill that all siblings possess to some extent (which I believe proves some sort of genetic link (despite the fact that I really enjoyed genetics in school (relating on so many levels to Gregor…

Lest anyone get triggered by the subject matter into actually trying to find this, it's from https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2019. (We changed the URL (more at https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34018429).)

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#98

Post by namdnay »

teh_klev wrote: post #91
eatonphil wrote: post #74

> “Hoist the mainsail ye accursed swine” shouted the Captain over the roar of the waves as the ship was tossed like a cork dropped from a wine bottle into a jacuzzi when the faucet is wide open and the jets are running full blast and one has just settled into the water with a glass of red wine to ease the aches and pains after a day of hard labor raking leaves from the front yard. > Sir Reginald Brimwater, Guardian o…

Robert Rankin author of The Brentford Trilogy is very much in the style of Pratchett and Adams: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Brentford_Trilogy

For anyone who likes steampunk, I strongly recommend the Witches of Chiswick!

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#99

Post by ng12 »

astrange wrote: post #25

Don't forget to check the Lyttle Lytton, which is funnier (as it's shorter) and also makes you wonder how he got that domain name. http://adamcadre.ac/22lyttle.html

Yes, I think this format is much better. Brevity, wit, etc. Too many of the originals just pack as much absurdity as they can into a run-on sentence.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#100

Post by themadturk »

yesenadam wrote: post #14
zimpenfish wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is a) SUPERB, and b) a perfect example of the Dan Brown Code[1]. [1] http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000844.h...

I hadn't read any Dan Brown, gee that's really bad! So, the sentence maybe should've been rearranged so the book starts with Square-jawed , getting right into the action.

For someone who writes so badly (and he does), I have always found Dan Brown to be compulsively readable. Sometimes we just need trash, I guess.
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