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Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

bulwer-lytton.com

51–60 of 154 posts

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#51

The link currently points to the 2019 winners, the correct one is: https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2022

lol Honestly i think the 2019 grand winner is the best still >2019 Grand Prize >Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

Does that qualify as a (very) short story?

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#52
I have complicated feelings about the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest. On the one hand, from a lighthearted perspective, it's quite funny and I enjoy reading the absurdist entries. On the other hand, I can't help but sense an undercurrent of wannabe-elitism from people who doth protest too much about "It was a dark and stormy night", in the same way that beginner programmers will fixate on minutiae like indentation or naming conventions in an attempt to gain social status among their peers. Like, sure, it's not the most gripping opening sentence in history. But the fact remains that if you took a good author and forced them to use it, they could still write a good book. (That might be an interesting contest in its own right.) Be careful not to get overfixated on the meme.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#53
post #37
post #20

The current title of this submission ("Worst Opening Sentences of 2022") is not quite correct: the about page [1] states that "the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels". The opening sentence of (what would be) the worst novel is different to the worst opening sentence of a novel. The Children's & Young Adult Literature Winner for 2022 [2] i…

I mean, it doesn't leave much room for the rest of the novel, but maybe that's the point.

It's very post-modern. You start with the ending, and then the rest of the book is how everything that happened led to her untimely demise.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#54

The link currently points to the 2019 winners, the correct one is: https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2022

lol Honestly i think the 2019 grand winner is the best still >2019 Grand Prize >Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

I somehow missed he's called Brad Brad. More crap to add to the steaming pile this sentence is. Absolutely masterful.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#55

They seem bad to me, until this one: > If I wanted to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a dystopian YA’s protagonist, I needed several things: missing or deceased parents (check), a complicated romantic life involving multiple partners and predictable behavior (check), a tough exterior that protected my sensitive inner workings (check), and finally, a life of danger, uncertainty, and constant struggle to survive (ch…

I read this as YC protagonist in all fairness

You were not alone.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#57
post #53
post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean, it doesn't leave much room for the rest of the novel, but maybe that's the point.

It's very post-modern. You start with the ending, and then the rest of the book is how everything that happened led to her untimely demise.

it’s barely post-modern. it’s a boring and overused tv plot technique that makes me groan whenever I come across it. build up excitement, tension, drama, create an interesting scene, then throw it all away with a “how did we get here” and a roll back in time

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#58
post #57
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's very post-modern. You start with the ending, and then the rest of the book is how everything that happened led to her untimely demise.

it’s barely post-modern. it’s a boring and overused tv plot technique that makes me groan whenever I come across it. build up excitement, tension, drama, create an interesting scene, then throw it all away with a “how did we get here” and a roll back in time

Post-modernism is 50 years old, and refers to the modernity of the first half of that century. Of course it feels cliché and outdated in 2022.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#59
post #57
post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's very post-modern. You start with the ending, and then the rest of the book is how everything that happened led to her untimely demise.

it’s barely post-modern. it’s a boring and overused tv plot technique that makes me groan whenever I come across it. build up excitement, tension, drama, create an interesting scene, then throw it all away with a “how did we get here” and a roll back in time

Yes. And I was so happy when Squid Game didn't do that.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#60
post #4

Dishonorable Mention (2019): > As they sprinted together down the echoing, looping ramp of the deserted Guggenheim Museum, closely pursued by three swarthy members of the resolutely vicious Cannelloni gang, square-jawed British Royal Marine art historian/world's deadliest sniper John Savage and his voluptuous young modern art critic/Navajo linguist Samantha Silver cursed architect/interior designer/writer/educator Fr…

That is a) SUPERB, and b) a perfect example of the Dan Brown Code[1]. [1] http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/000844.h...

Ah, I'd forgotten that one of the world's best-selling novelists wrote like GPT-3 :D

(Seriously, every time GPT-3 produces prose that passes the skim read test, you need this guy to go through it and point out that this is the third time it's mentioned the protagonists' profession in the paragraph and silhouettes don't stare)

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