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Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

bulwer-lytton.com

31–40 of 154 posts

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#34
They seem bad to me, until this one:

> If I wanted to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a dystopian YA’s protagonist, I needed several things: missing or deceased parents (check), a complicated romantic life involving multiple partners and predictable behavior (check), a tough exterior that protected my sensitive inner workings (check), and finally, a life of danger, uncertainty, and constant struggle to survive (check); it turns out, turtles are well-equipped to star in YA adventures!

This is brilliant!

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#35

The link currently points to the 2019 winners, the correct one is: https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2022

Honestly, I'd read the first one. Trashy detective fiction that's kinda self aware sounds great.

I don’t know if this extends to full-on parody, but Fergus Craig’s Roger LeCarre bits are quite enjoyable.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#36
post #33

Non-native english speaker here Why are these openings bad?

They are purposefully bad, as it's a contest where people send submissions. Most of these are "bad" because they try to pack too much into a single sentence, and the concepts are so over the top the reader would be having a hard time keeping up. Some of these are bad because of genre mismatch, for example, having gory details in a children's book.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#37
post #20

The current title of this submission ("Worst Opening Sentences of 2022") is not quite correct: the about page [1] states that "the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels". The opening sentence of (what would be) the worst novel is different to the worst opening sentence of a novel. The Children's & Young Adult Literature Winner for 2022 [2] i…

I mean, it doesn't leave much room for the rest of the novel, but maybe that's the point.

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or Charles Stross, or Peter Watts. A lot of modern prose starts with illusions of grandeur and name-dropping.

I challenge you to find a sentence or paragraph from either author like these. Please cite the relevant book.

Received editorial wisdom these days is that you have at most 100 words to capture the reader's attention (and by "capture" I mean "drag it into the back of your serial killer van, sedate it, hog-tie it, then re-enact that classic scene from A Clockwork Orange -- only in prose") or they'll put the book down and never look at it again.

FYI, a typical page in a paperback novel contains 300-400 words: the preceding paragraph/sentence is 61 words long (per wc(1)).

So starting with a bang is mandatory, if you want to get paid to write for a living.

Welcome to the short attention span society!

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#39
post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a contest where contestants intentionally set out to write the worst opening sentence possible.

Wasn't there a similar yearly anthology of bad lines/paragraphs from actual novels/stories? I am pretty sure such a thing existed but couldn't find it anywhere.

You may be thinking of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. Here's the 2019 winner:

"Katsuro moaned as a bulge formed beneath the material of his kimono, a bulge that Miyuki seized, kneaded, massaged, squashed and crushed. With the fondling, Katsuro’s penis and testicles became one single mound that rolled around beneath the grip of her hand. Miyuki felt as though she was manipulating a small monkey that was curling up its paws.”

https://literaryreview.co.uk/bad-sex-in-fiction-award

Re: Worst Opening Sentences of 2022

#40

They seem bad to me, until this one: > If I wanted to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a dystopian YA’s protagonist, I needed several things: missing or deceased parents (check), a complicated romantic life involving multiple partners and predictable behavior (check), a tough exterior that protected my sensitive inner workings (check), and finally, a life of danger, uncertainty, and constant struggle to survive (ch…

They're supposed to be bad. Terrible, in fact.
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