Beware of the perfect gentleman • Hacker News Board

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#181

Post by teux » Thu, Dec 08, 2022, 1:38 PM UTC

edanm wrote: post #165

BlargMcLarg wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You and GP both need to take a step back and consider the context since both of you seem to conveniently forget one very important thing: why would anyone get harrassed by software developers on LinkedIn as just another workerbee? Now multiply that by whatever factor you believe a software developer is a gorgeous woman. Maybe now it makes sense why people are skeptical. With your line of reasoning, people would be de…

To clarify, I totally understand the context. I'm specifically saying that saying a phrase like "they don't look like software developers" just because they're good looking women is in itself a bad (and false!) meme to circulate, which in itself is a bad thing, regardless of context.

Yeah. That’s all I was trying to say. I’m not speaking about anything related to shitty recruiters, how hard it is to be a man online (??), or how much it sucks to be the target of sex-based scams.

Just. Saying it sucks to be a woman in tech and statements and sentiments like this are part of the reason why.

Still no one answered my question: “What does a software engineer look like then?”

I think it was a combination of me being not explicit enough and touching on an obviously sore subject for others. But I don’t have the energy to unravel it or debate.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#182

Post by P5fRxh5kUvp2th » Thu, Dec 08, 2022, 3:40 PM UTC

AshamedCaptain wrote: post #92

rkagerer wrote: post #42

When I was growing up you never posted your photo online where strangers could see it. Earlier than that, it was also considered proper etiquette to ask before taking someone's photo. There's been a huge culture shift and some of the outcomes are disheartening but quite predictable. ...little recourse other than to continuously report fake profiles across social media platforms If they don't take down your fraudulent…

> When I was growing up you never posted your photo online where strangers could see it. I have _never_ uploaded my photo "online" voluntarily, but still it was common to put your photo in many places that were easily reachable by the common public. My school published a yearbook with my photo, for example. Many journal papers I've published had my photo attached, starting at least from the 90s. Some of these have be…

I don't put my photo up either. I know of an old newspaper clipping that made its way online and of course yearbooks have as well.

The other way my photo has made it online is pictures with friends and family, generally facebook.

Luckily, between that and my name being shared by several people in my country who are more comfortable with online persona's, and no one is actually going to find my image unless they're trying really hard to specifically target me.

Your point is a good one and I know I'm lucky in that respect. I very much miss the days when anonymity was a major value in online interactions.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#183

Post by lsaferite » Thu, Dec 08, 2022, 5:06 PM UTC

coldtea wrote: post #169

lsaferite wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

FWIW, I'm over 40 and was "online" as a teen, first with BBS and then with dial-up internet.

Sure, and one could be 80 and be "online" as a teen on his parent's ARPANET account. But it's not the online kind we're discussing here, where upload pictures of yourself to the web was considered uncouth (as per the parent commenter), because it wasn't considered as good or bad at all, as it was just not a thing people could do at the time (not even BBS users were actually doing that, except perhaps in some incredib…

I was simply replying to your statement, nothing more.

>For those over 40, when they grew up there was no "online".

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#184

Post by dang » Fri, Dec 09, 2022, 12:46 AM UTC

joenot443 wrote: post #139

teux wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes? I just migrated from reddit. Read my comments. I have been discussing my job in Europe and my work with vectorised optimisations. Seems like a lot of work for sowing discord, but you make the call.

Quoted post unavailable.

Hey, please don't be a jerk to newcomers, even if they're not following the rules yet. We don't want HN to be that kind of place.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#185

Post by EdwardDiego » Fri, Dec 09, 2022, 2:23 AM UTC

flooo wrote: post #40

EdwardDiego wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Back in the MySpace (Bebo also maybe?) days, I met a programmer who harvested womens' profile pictures from social media for the AdultFriendFinder.com adverts on porn sites. He didn't consider it unethical because "you'd have to be really really stupid to think that women are posting their face on a site like AFF". I kinda thought exploiting the really stupid was still unethical, but his response was given that I wor…

How about the women whose profile pics he “harvested” (stole)? Isn’t there a huge ethical issue there?

Fair point, I was focused more on the fraud aspect of it so didn't think of that.