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Beware of the perfect gentleman

vice.com

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Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#131

Post by teux »

3pt14159 wrote: post #121
teux wrote: post #118

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Two, they look more like models than software engineers. Completely bullshit. Can I push back against this? It’s toxic as fuck. Being a woman in tech blows. You can’t be pretty or you’re considered incompetent and shallow. You can’t be ugly or you’re treated poorly for that. It’s a loose-loose. What does a software engineer look like to you, then?

Are you a woman in tech? The reason that I ask is that your account is pretty new and this seems a little bit like stowing up discord on social media. Regardless. There is a difference between a beautiful woman that can code (these are actually getting more and more prevalent) and the trashy looking profile picture that all of us instantly know is some kind of spammer or scammer in our DMs or our inbox. The fact that…

Yes? I just migrated from reddit.

Read my comments. I have been discussing my job in Europe and my work with vectorised optimisations.

Seems like a lot of work for sowing discord, but you make the call.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#132

Post by Ekaros »

bearmode wrote: post #88
jack_pp wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Considering how good face recognition is these days it would be nice to have legislation in place that you have to give explicit consent to any website in order to use your image. Govt can crawl the web and block websites from the countries ISP that don't comply. Hard to see another automated solution for this problem

Congrats, now 90+% of all photographs taken outside are completely unshareable online, and the > century old art of street photography is dead.

Seems like victory for privacy. You could get a AI to censor people faces automatically too.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#133

Post by danwee »

walthamstow wrote: post #123
danwee wrote: post #115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You mean female recruiters? For some reason, all the female recruiters I know (on Linkedin) are rather attractive. Maybe there is some logic behind it.

My brother and his girlfriend are tech recruiters here in London. They are both very conventionally attractive people, but it's not their image that makes them good at their jobs per se, IMO it's having the confidence and charm of a person who has gone through life always being attractive. If a less attractive person had that confidence, charm, charisma, whatever you call it - and some do - they would also be success…

I wasn't talking about been successfull or not, but I agree with your statement indeed.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#134

Post by PM_me_your_math »

m000 wrote: post #91
DoreenMichele wrote: post #45

My mind is blown. Even when the ruse is revealed, many victims are unwilling to let go. The truth triggers an emotional whiplash—the promise of a soulmate, a new, fulfilling life, and mutual trust is suddenly lost, leaving the intense feelings of love behind. Once found, the real man in the photos becomes a surrogate for the fantasy. “Some of them would reach out to me and [say], ‘Now that I know what the real person…

Loneliness is a bad relationship advisor it seems. It's like going to the supermarket with an empty stomach: you end up loading your cart with a lot of crap. Btw, these scams are a worldwide trend. The wildest case I've read was about a Japanese lady scammed by a "Russian astronaut" seeking $ to pay his "landing fees" for returning to earth to meet her [1]. I've also read in local Greek news for >1 cases of ladies ge…

In addition to technical scams, lots of these relationship types come out of Nigeria and India call centers. During the day the centers sell something legitimate, like web dev or management svcs, but at night, they lock the doors and the scam crew uses the office to fleece victims.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#135

Post by BlargMcLarg »

RickJWagner wrote: post #127

Of interest: "The male voice, tinged with a Southern-sounding accent, stopped him cold: I’m going to slit your throat." What would you think if Vice had written: "The male voice, tinged with a Black-sounding accent...." "The male voice, tinged with an Asian-sounding accent...." "The male voice, tinged with an Italian-sounding accent...." Why of course you'd think "That publication is hate mongering! They're trying to…

"Remember kids, discrimination is wrong, unless X" ~ practically every society in history believing they can determine X and would scoff at both their ancestors and predecessors.

Vice just having a little slip of the tongue and showing what's really up.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#136

Post by 3pt14159 »

teux wrote: post #131
3pt14159 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you a woman in tech? The reason that I ask is that your account is pretty new and this seems a little bit like stowing up discord on social media. Regardless. There is a difference between a beautiful woman that can code (these are actually getting more and more prevalent) and the trashy looking profile picture that all of us instantly know is some kind of spammer or scammer in our DMs or our inbox. The fact that…

Yes? I just migrated from reddit. Read my comments. I have been discussing my job in Europe and my work with vectorised optimisations. Seems like a lot of work for sowing discord, but you make the call.

Well I'll take you at your word then. Be aware that new accounts or accounts without much comment history are treated with more suspicion on HN when they discuss hot button issues like gender or politics.

> It’s toxic as fuck. Being a woman in tech blows. You can’t be pretty or you’re considered incompetent and shallow. You can’t be ugly or you’re treated poorly for that.

One of the best programmers I've ever worked with was a woman. Former Google. I'd prefer not to discuss how attractive she is because it doesn't matter to me. I'm sorry you're having a rough time in Scandinavia and, from your comment history, formerly the USA. I've worked with non-aggressive teams from different places, but I've also observed women being mistreated in both Canada and the USA as well.

That said, I've seen ASD men mistreated as well. Unfortunately there are jerks out there and we can all try to do better.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#137

Post by NackerHughes »

RickJWagner wrote: post #127

Of interest: "The male voice, tinged with a Southern-sounding accent, stopped him cold: I’m going to slit your throat." What would you think if Vice had written: "The male voice, tinged with a Black-sounding accent...." "The male voice, tinged with an Asian-sounding accent...." "The male voice, tinged with an Italian-sounding accent...." Why of course you'd think "That publication is hate mongering! They're trying to…

Interesting and telling indeed. A southern US accent is acceptable to portray as threatening (or unintelligent or otherwise villainous). I would say the Russian accent is similarly A-OK to use for such prejudice. Racial stereotyping is exempt from being considered hate speech, it seems, when the target is the Bad People™.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#138

Post by joenot443 »

rkagerer wrote: post #42

When I was growing up you never posted your photo online where strangers could see it. Earlier than that, it was also considered proper etiquette to ask before taking someone's photo. There's been a huge culture shift and some of the outcomes are disheartening but quite predictable. ...little recourse other than to continuously report fake profiles across social media platforms If they don't take down your fraudulent…

I hire a lawyer, they submit a takedown request to FB or TikTok or wherever else they’re using my identity, now what?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if someone lives across the world and is doing all this impersonation online, what legal recourse does a lawyer have access to? Drag them to The Hague?

I’ve been in cases before where someone in a different continent is trying to impersonate or sink you, and I can say in my experience there’s little a Canadian lawyer could have done.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#139

Post by joenot443 »

teux wrote: post #131
3pt14159 wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you a woman in tech? The reason that I ask is that your account is pretty new and this seems a little bit like stowing up discord on social media. Regardless. There is a difference between a beautiful woman that can code (these are actually getting more and more prevalent) and the trashy looking profile picture that all of us instantly know is some kind of spammer or scammer in our DMs or our inbox. The fact that…

Yes? I just migrated from reddit. Read my comments. I have been discussing my job in Europe and my work with vectorised optimisations. Seems like a lot of work for sowing discord, but you make the call.

No post body was provided.

Re: Beware of the perfect gentleman

#140

Post by rvba »

joenot443 wrote: post #138
rkagerer wrote: post #42

When I was growing up you never posted your photo online where strangers could see it. Earlier than that, it was also considered proper etiquette to ask before taking someone's photo. There's been a huge culture shift and some of the outcomes are disheartening but quite predictable. ...little recourse other than to continuously report fake profiles across social media platforms If they don't take down your fraudulent…

I hire a lawyer, they submit a takedown request to FB or TikTok or wherever else they’re using my identity, now what? Correct me if I’m wrong, but if someone lives across the world and is doing all this impersonation online, what legal recourse does a lawyer have access to? Drag them to The Hague? I’ve been in cases before where someone in a different continent is trying to impersonate or sink you, and I can say in m…

I wonder if a local lawyer can do something if the scammers' IP / country can be somehow identified. I wouldnt expect much, maybe the scammers will just switch to a different picture, what still counts as a win.
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