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No one wants to have kids anymore

torturechambersmalltalk.substack.com

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Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#121

Post by rhn_mk1 »

Sure, the article is funny, but what's the alternative to the dreaded arrest of growth? There's one: continual growth, forever.

I find the premise of infinite growth absurd: we'll hit some hard resource limits and fizzle out sooner or later. Perhaps the author thinks it's more fun that way than fizzle out out of caution/apathy?

Or maybe we'll keep growing, but will have to change something about being a human. Turn into a hive mind? Become microscopic? Either way, it's going to be more difficult than preventing the economic collapse due to oldster overflow.

Out of two ways to preserve population growth one is more ridiculous than the other. I get an impression that it's written by someone who wants to keep running while reality indicates to slow down.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#122

Post by icare_1er »

bparsons wrote: post #4

The unspoken subtext of these hysterical articles is that they are only speaking about wealthy white people. The rest of the planet does not exist to them.

And the subtext of your comment is your pathological urge to speak about so-called "white privilege" whatever the topic is.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#123

Post by ekabod »

throwayyy479087 wrote: post #60
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Having a kid is the most fun I’ve ever had. Used to go to raves, done bunch of crazy sexual stuff, as well as most drugs under the sun. There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

> There’s nothing close to chasing a toddler in a circle for an hour.

I hope this is your toddler.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#124

Post by masklinn »

wil421 wrote: post #100
thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #36

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

If you only care about yourself go for it. I guess it’s somewhat sobering realizing you’re gonna be alone and your genetic material will be a dead end. I have 3 kids 3 and under and probably got 4 hours of sleep last night. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. My kids are not treated like a drain on my potential investments. Sure I can’t do my hobbies all the time but I can take my kids fishing and kayaking. The trips ar…

> If you only care about yourself go for it. I guess it’s somewhat sobering realizing you’re gonna be alone and your genetic material will be a dead end.

Sounds like you desperately needed to have a legacy, and got kids as a substitute for that. And as an insurance for your old age.

But sure GP is the one who only care about themselves.

> My kids are not treated like a drain on my potential investments.

True they’re treated as an investment.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#125

Post by sambapa »

vincnetas wrote: post #95
ehutch79 wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

Did you hear from marathon runners how difficult it was? Same here, it's difficult but it brings experiences you could not have otherwise, and on pragmatic side passes on your genes ;)

The amount of one's genes after several generations is homeopathic, so it doesn't matter in the long run.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#126

Post by zpeti »

thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #84
cloutchaser wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s your decision, but not having children because of your comfort is like saying you won’t ride an amazing wave as a surfer because it’s hard and dangerous. Yep, it is. But when you ride that wave it will be the most amazing experience of your life. Even if it is hard. it’s your choice, but you’re definitely missing out on something special. Something we were genetically created to do (which makes it even better th…

> it’s your choice, but you’re definitely missing out on something special. I totally forgot to mention the patronizing attitude that so many people come to this conversation with. Thank for you for heads up.

Patronising is thinking you know what it’s like having children without having them.

You don’t. You have no idea of the emotional and practical side of having children, and how hard and how amazing it is, and how it’s the best and hardest part of your life up until then.

Patronising is thinking you know you don’t want kids without having them. You don’t. You have no idea what it’s like.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#127

Post by raesene9 »

analog31 wrote: post #97
thr0wawayf00 wrote: post #36

> But deep down I get it. Babies are a huge opportunity cost. Financially speaking, they are like winning the lottery but backwards. You can't even think of having one without cancelling your subscription to a good night's sleep. And if you take into account inflation, economic recession, and the rest of the news cycle's highlight reel, even a one-child family can seem to have one too many mouths to fish Lego pieces…

Is this borne out in data? I ask because among my friends and work mates, the ones with kids tend to be doing better financially. The higher ranks of the corporation are populated almost entirely with people who are supporting families. I followed that path. When my first kid was born, I applied for a promotion into project management, and eventually people management. (I moved back out eventually). The vast majority…

An ancillary question would be, how many of those people wanted to move into management?

Definitely in IT departments I've worked in, in the past, there were a lot of people in management who would have preferred to still be ICs but, for financial reasons, had moved upwards...

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#128

Post by ricardobeat »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #91
ehutch79 wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

I have 2 kids, I don’t recommend it. Quality of life decline is steep unless you’re wealthy and can hire robust childcare support, and it causes a significant decline in relationship satisfaction with your partner. Maybe you end up happy in the end, maybe you don’t, it’s Russian Roulette in a different form. People who tell you to go for it aren’t going to make you whole if it doesn’t work out or be your village when…

This is extremely location-dependent. In countries where you have universal healthcare, free education and childcare benefits, the financial impact of having a child can be very low.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#129

Post by D13Fd »

ehutch79 wrote: post #67
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #43

A word of advice to anyone on the fence about having kids: There’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids, but do yourself and consult with actual parents for what it’s really like to have kids. Articles like this one, which are written by someone who apparently has chosen not to have children, are almost universally terrible at representing the true experience of being a parent. Yes, being a parent involves a…

Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is. The childless among us hear every complaint and lament about how terrible it is. Why would we do that to ourselves?

> Real parents consistently make it clear how terrible having kids is.

What world do you live in? I have 4 (soon to be 5) kids myself and I’m happy with my choices. I know many families with kids, and only a small percentage seem unhappy, similar to most other life choices.

Re: No one wants to have kids anymore

#130

Post by throwaway0asd »

This matter is a very clear choice:

1) Have children early at risk of living life without wealth but at minimum risk of health for all parties.

2) Delay. This risks never having children for various biological reasons for the impractically increased chance of increased wealth.

As somebody who had children early, went through poverty, and now lives in a large house with a nice job I can't help but look at single people in their 30s or older. I always want to ask them why they cannot afford a Lamborghini or live in a giant mansion. They had no such restrictions on their time and/or finances to dedicate increased efforts in advancing their careers or founding new businesses.

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