The experience I had while growing up and still today is very similar. I moved from India to Europe, my father was sole provider of the house. He earned just par what you would call minimum wage as there was no such concept in India, still not today. By no means you could term us under poverty but I never felt my situation better than that, in-fact I remember many times I wished we were poor so I will at least have close friends who will stand for me or understand how I felt. The school was government subsidised but we had lot of middle class or higher middle class kids. I cycled 6km in morning and after school, initially it felt more fun but eventually I realised with 2nd hand bicycle I was saving school bus money. I remember the day when I was 11 years old and 1st time went for 3 days school trip, my father gave me ₹100 ($1.20). It was not that small amount 2-3 kids also had around same but many of other brought ₹500 in fact there was a kid with ₹2000 and teachers were worried if he will lose it or someone might steal it. I only spent half of it cause I was saving for Nintendo Super Game Boy for both me and my 5 years younger brother. I got the Nintendo! but I was 15 then and wanted a PC. All my childhood was eventual despair of longing for anything. For my brother it was a bit better but he never got anything new or shiny, always whatever I had used. We never went out for food except for my, my brother’s and mother’s birthday, father never wanted to go out on his birthday citing he loves few select meals that mother makes which always infuriated me but after 12 or 14 I realised why he never wanted. Being older I got exposed to our situation very early and there was always this impatience and frustration I felt building in me, I use to express it on mother and brother but I never truly learned why it was there until I got my first job. I was grateful for my parents that I was able to graduate and can now live better financially, but my childhood shame never left me. Till today I secretly go to McDonalds, KFC without telling my wife or kids just to have that feeling that I can eat at those places whenever I want, not because these are fine dining or my wife will be upset but for me those are golf course sessions. Whenever I want to buy any electronics I first look for what is most expensive then reviews and finally decide what I should buy so I won’t look tech junky.
Limited financial resources in my childhood limits me now in my life, work. So many time I truly can’t connect to lunch or coffee conversations between colleagues because those feels like two persons in car fighting or waiving to each other while I look through bus window on the roadside.
I was financial limited then and because of that I’m cognitively restrained now.