Just don’t

I have the opposite problem with many technical support teams these days. I supply them with a full breakdown of what error I encountered, the reproduction code/commands/data, my configuration, what I think happened, how I tested for that, alternative explanations I came up with and tried, traces, trace markers, vendor-standard dumps, and a call to action of the next piece of information I need (usually an explanation of what is exactly happening inside a specific function call that the trace doesn't reveal). I did what I dreamed of receiving when I fielded technical calls back in the day but never did, and am trying to follow all the vendors' own support guidelines of what they want to save everyone time.

There are so many offshore teams these days that I wonder whether the volume of what I supply in my support tickets overwhelms the English as a second language support engineers' total comprehension abilities, between the combined English-to-native language parsing and internalization of the case details itself. About 9 out of 10 times now when I reach offshore engineers, there are responses with blatant signals they simply did not read through even a third of what I painstakingly put together. With English native speakers, it is closer to 1-5% depending upon the vendor.

No shade to the offshore teams, but it adds an unnecessary debugging cycle for them, I suspect they're under insane metrics to uphold incentivizing this behavior and I just politely point out where I already gave them the information they're requesting. Most of the time they simply escalate the case straight towards the development team.

I’d suggest a phone call, but yeah dealing with the actual users is far better than some middle manager without a clue how the job actually gets performed.

> It's not fair to ask people for help and then complain about their word usage when trying to help. This is a situation where solicited advice was asked for.

This is not wrong but it's not always useful. Being more kind in your language when giving help will carry your point across more clearly. Consider a junior engineer stressed out by deadlines -- sure, they should listen to you calmly and fix the problem, but it can be hard when you're not used to the right mindstate. A bit of finesse when choosing your words will go a long way.

This goes the other way too -- ignoring when people use unnecessary language when giving help is for the best, even though in a perfect world they wouldn't. Communication is about being understood, not being fair. Giving a bit from your side to speak on terms the other side is more comfortable on is a great skill to have.

The period every word thing could. Not. Go. Away. Fast. Enough.

I haven't really seen UsInG aLtErNaTiNg CaPs to indicate mockery lately, so maybe there's hope.

Active listening is a learnable and useful skill.

Most of the time we are predicting what people will say, and using the spare time to work out what we are going to say in return. This means that we often miss nuance or vital details.

This means that we can squander time or emotional capital by projecting our mental model of the person onto them. (this is a long winded way to say biases, but that triggers people, so I tend to avoid using that.)

So how do you active listen?

number 1) Slow everything down.

You do not need to reply instantly. Use non verbal queues to indicate that you are thinking and paying attention (nodding, saying hmm, etc, etc)

number 2) pay attention to non verbal cues.

Are they getting more fidgety? are they relaxed? are they looking more sad, can they keep eye contact? All of these cues give insight to the person's feelings. You should be able to spot if you are making sense, as they will change their pose/behaviour.

number 3) repeat what you think they are saying back to them to get agreement

"If I understand correctly you feel that [..] is that correct?"

You will need to pay attention to your body language and tone. Are you butting in? are you feeling angry? pity? annoyance? why are you feeling those emotions? is it better to come back later?

There are many more parts to active listening, but most of it can be learnt. Basically its practical empathy (as in understanding what people think, and why they might think that, rather than aiming to feel the same emotion as someone else.)