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Suicide

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Re: Suicide

#191

Post by olalonde »

noduerme wrote: post #174
sophacles wrote: post #162

So heres my experience with this whole topic: When I was very young, I remember feeling trapped in life. It wasn't a particularly terrible life, but not a particularly great one either. There were times when I just didn't want it. As I got older, I spent a lot of time mildly depressed. There were expectations I couldn't live up to, it seemed my family wanted me to be perfect, and the repercussions for not being so we…

"You only get to do this once. Is this the time?" Have you ever done heroin? Get drunk with a bunch of kids you don't know? Skydive? Steal a car? Wake up in a hotel in Mexico? Sorry to be flip, but there are probably a lot of things you've never done that you'd feel rotten about the next day, but at least there'd be a next day, and you could do it again. "Not being" is an option, but it's a stupid one. I didn't like…

Assuming this is an attempt at reverse psychology, I doubt it is likely to work with the type of people who frequent HN.

Re: Suicide

#192

Post by beaker52 »

I just want to say that 4 months after a break down in my marriage and with little experience of real life outside of that marriage, the approach to this holiday season, for whatever reason has been quite difficult. I was really considering not making it into 2012.

I have since taken control of my thoughts and am feeling much better about things. The main realisation came from realising that now, the present, is the most important thing, not the past, nor the future.

Don't wanna sound all preachy but this book (I'm listening to it in audio form) really helped me: http://www.audible.co.uk/pd/ref=sr_1_1?asin=B004EX04PK&q...

Re: Suicide

#193

Post by justaname »

antirez wrote: post #51
[deleted] wrote: post #37

[deleted]

Marriage creates a very deep and important link between two people, but once one of the two sides no longer want to continue, it is better to look forward: you will not lost all the good things about your marriage, they are inside you, but you can discover that you can be so happy, with a different partner, again. It happened to me in the past, I felt lost, now I'm happy again with my new partner. Time is an importan…

I wish I could see marriage this way. After being with my girlfriend for almost 7 years, we married. Turns out, a few days before the wedding she started an affair with the leader of her theatre group, whom she invited with the group to our wedding apero, to play some theatre plays for us. Two months later, she spilled the beans, and so much shit has happened since, that I can't look at a couple without thinking which one is cheating the other or if they are cheating their partners together. Living in a country where there is no apparent social consequence for adultery has pushed me to the point where I don't want anything to do with what marriage or relationships represent. I left the country I grew up in to come here for this girl, and I'll be leaving without getting the divorce most people would want. I can't face it, and don't give a rat's ass about all of that anymore. Just getting my life back, and finding some inner peace again is all that matters.

I've also left suicide as an option open, but I've got one plan ahead of that which is just to stand up and walk away, loose ends untied.

My point is, the meaning that most people take for granted from an intimate relationship with someone, for me personally, has died. I'm no longer willing to sacrifice so much for someone else, because it took so much from everyday since. The trauma steals your life because your mind simply isn't capable of thinking of anything else anymore.

The conflict of loving someone and at the same time hating that part of them that destroyed you, is a paradox that makes it impossible to be blind to the reality that you can no longer trust anyone with your life.

I'll be glad to get out of this heartless country and back into the sunshine, where people have the balls to speak their mind and call a bastard a bastard, and a bitch a bitch.

Re: Suicide

#194

Post by yason »

sophacles wrote: post #162

So heres my experience with this whole topic: When I was very young, I remember feeling trapped in life. It wasn't a particularly terrible life, but not a particularly great one either. There were times when I just didn't want it. As I got older, I spent a lot of time mildly depressed. There were expectations I couldn't live up to, it seemed my family wanted me to be perfect, and the repercussions for not being so we…

As long as you're living someone else's life, not yours, you will feel suffocated and more and more trapped into externalities, and eventually you get depressed and see no point whatsoever in anything.

When you said that it helped when you realized that suicide is a perfectly valid option and you're free to choose it or dismiss it as you see fit, you touched your own life. The one you could continue or end, the one where your choices actually affect yourself only.

I think it's better to contemplate whether to end your own life than to try to live someone else's. Then you're bound to realize that your life will steer towards what you decide and what you think, instead of as if your life was a car that's being chauffeured along a predefined route that you don't particularly like.

Re: Suicide

#195

Post by georgieporgie »

A random moment of anger/hilarity during a bad bout of depression a few years ago: I tried calling around to a few psychiatrists in the area to get an appointment for depression. After waiting several days without hearing anything, I called one again. "Hello?" "Uh, yeah, I called and left a message a few days ago about seeing someone about depression." "Oh. We aren't accepting new patients." "Um. Okay, can you recommend anyone who is?" She sounded shocked that anyone would ever ask such a question, "no."

So, it has been my experience that mental health care could care less about you unless they're already cashing your checks.

Anyway, on the subject of suicide, you only get one go around on this ride. If you're seriously contemplating suicide, go see your regular doctor about it. There are great drugs out there. Yes, they can have side effects, but let's be rational here: a lack of boners, for example, is well worth it to find value in life again. If you kill yourself, everyone in your family will be devastated, your friends will miss you more than you think, and, to be perfectly honest, you still owe society for educating you and putting up with the ridiculous stuff you did as a teenager. ;-)

Re: Suicide

#196

Post by justaname »

[deleted] wrote: post #37

[deleted]

Once the responsibilities have been carried out, consider the option of just walking away, if it's an option, instead of offing yourself. It's just one of many options. I wrote a post a bit further down. Probably my situation is similar but also very different, but it has also dragged me down far enough that I was short before doing the same as you several times already.

I've struggled at work for two years, just trying to survive. Days go by where I'm totally useless and am unable to produce anything (days add up to months, etc). It's an added stress knowing that the personal problems you are having might lose you your job if you don't somehow fight and pull through.

I'm fortunate that I have the option, which I intend to use, of in a reasonably short amount of time (3-4 months), can cancel everything and leave the country to return back home.

I've also recognised the things I enjoy doing, even if I'm incapable of doing them at the moment, I'm fighting for the day when I'll be free of the mindfuck going on right now, and will be able to focus on those things again.

If it ever gets moments before killing myself again, I'm going to buy a plane ticket back home with my credit card, and leave everything behind. I'll face the consequences later when I'm mentally healthy again. Right now, I'm fighting through those things that I need to do, so that I can leave without too many loose ends. I can't tie them all up, but most.

Re: Suicide

#197

Post by rehack »

justaname wrote: post #193
antirez wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Marriage creates a very deep and important link between two people, but once one of the two sides no longer want to continue, it is better to look forward: you will not lost all the good things about your marriage, they are inside you, but you can discover that you can be so happy, with a different partner, again. It happened to me in the past, I felt lost, now I'm happy again with my new partner. Time is an importan…

I wish I could see marriage this way. After being with my girlfriend for almost 7 years, we married. Turns out, a few days before the wedding she started an affair with the leader of her theatre group, whom she invited with the group to our wedding apero, to play some theatre plays for us. Two months later, she spilled the beans, and so much shit has happened since, that I can't look at a couple without thinking whic…

Brother, don't do it for this lady's sake. You clearly deserve better. Just give life a chance, and I think you are doing the right thing by moving.

Re: Suicide

#198

Post by ma2rten »

sophacles wrote: post #162

So heres my experience with this whole topic: When I was very young, I remember feeling trapped in life. It wasn't a particularly terrible life, but not a particularly great one either. There were times when I just didn't want it. As I got older, I spent a lot of time mildly depressed. There were expectations I couldn't live up to, it seemed my family wanted me to be perfect, and the repercussions for not being so we…

> Also: after this article leaves the front page, I'm going to delete this post, because while I think it is important, I don't know that having these words public for posterity is a wise decision.

You can only delete or edit your posts for a limited time.

Re: Suicide

#199

Post by losethos »

It would be nice if my enemies commited suicide. God should be a rude wake-up call.

God says... glorious dance It's_nice_being_God dance Hicc_up spoiled_brat it's_hopeless hope you're_so_screwed I_see_nothing fun trippy could_it_be___Satan failure_is_not_an_option fun Catastrophic_Success take_the_day_off pardon_the_french Dad what's_the_plan na_na ridiculous that's_much_better so_he_sess ipod watch_it_buddy in_theory just_lovely Burp theres_no_place_like_home money I'm_beginning_to_wonder joy Indian you_think_you_could_do_better battle you're_so_screwed in_theory I_just_might whoop_there_it_is now_you_tell_me comedy piety ghastly if_and_only_if segway vote battle don't_count_on_it husband make_my_day pet I'll_get_right_on_it high_mucky_muck food NOT ridiculous spending look_out everythings_a_okay yuck

Re: Suicide

#200

Post by Mz »

rehack wrote: post #197
justaname wrote: post #193

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish I could see marriage this way. After being with my girlfriend for almost 7 years, we married. Turns out, a few days before the wedding she started an affair with the leader of her theatre group, whom she invited with the group to our wedding apero, to play some theatre plays for us. Two months later, she spilled the beans, and so much shit has happened since, that I can't look at a couple without thinking whic…

Brother, don't do it for this lady's sake. You clearly deserve better. Just give life a chance, and I think you are doing the right thing by moving.

You remind me of a line from a TV show (I think an episode of "Quantum Leap") where a woman has just been dumped by her married lover (or something along those lines) and someone talks her out of committing suicide by telling her something to the effect that if she kills herself over him, that would just send him the message she "couldn't live without him" and feed his ego and is that really what she wants to "say" to him?
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