Suicide • Hacker News Board

Re: Suicide

#171

Post by rehack » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 5:34 AM UTC

You seem to be able to write so well. Just wonder, if you manage to answer 'Tomorrow I can decide again' for some good 20-30 years or so. And while doing it, if you preserve a private memoir of sorts on these thoughts. Then surely you have a bestseller, in you, which will also be useful to many in the future generation. How's that for a possibility?

And it surely will also be an interesting perspective, to look back on what how you thought of things in the early days.

IMHO (and experience) 'time changes everything' ... and I really mean everything. The only way to test this is by giving more time. As you are rightly giving yourself.

Re: Suicide

#172

Post by c3o » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 5:35 AM UTC

There is a second meetup tomorrow, as far as I can tell: https://www.facebook.com/maltman23/posts/10150415871850918

Mitch's Google Group for the meetups is here: http://groups.google.com/group/geeksanddepression

Re: Suicide

#173

Post by steve-howard » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:07 AM UTC

I'm just sick of reading articles like this because I've been there, and I've seen what "help" looks like, and I was worse off for most of it. "Help" is what happens when people hear you say that suicide is a choice, because they assume it's their duty to take that choice from you.

Re: Suicide

#174

Post by noduerme » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:10 AM UTC

"You only get to do this once. Is this the time?"

Have you ever done heroin? Get drunk with a bunch of kids you don't know? Skydive? Steal a car? Wake up in a hotel in Mexico? Sorry to be flip, but there are probably a lot of things you've never done that you'd feel rotten about the next day, but at least there'd be a next day, and you could do it again. "Not being" is an option, but it's a stupid one. I didn't like Raganwald's post either, because it's saccharine and condescending.

Let's face facts: Most people who don't want you to kill yourself are just scared that life's meaningless; when they see people around them committing suicide, it upsets their sense of everything being okay. That's why they tell you not to do it.

I say screw that. I feel nothing for people who kill themselves. I think it's incredibly stupid, but hey, that's evolution. If you can't find anything worth living for, do it. You've gotta be pretty dumb not to think of any other way to spend your evening, but the world's better off without dumb people. QED.

Re: Suicide

#175

Post by brettvallis » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:13 AM UTC

I don't usually talk about this, but your post speaks to something that most opinions on the subject never do.

22 years ago I went through a fairly strange time: I was depressed, disconnected, and feeling deeply alone. It culminated in a very violent suicide attempt. Despite all my plans and precautions I was found still alive and hospitalised. Being young and antisocial I never went back to therapy and for a few months afterwards I kept going back to the idea of trying it again.

The turning point for me was realising that suicide was in fact an option. Admittedly a pretty drastic option, but one nonetheless. Neither was it 'the easy way out', or 'for the weak'. Destroying one's own life isn't a spur of the moment decision, similar to deciding which tart one should have for tea, etc. Driven by desperation, or severe pain, it is a momentous decision and the consequences are irreversible - no one who really makes the decision does so lightly.

The understanding that it was an option, gave me a feeling of control. Since it was an option and one that I could take at any time, I had some level of control over my situation. If that was an option, then perhaps there were other options. I decided to explore other options. I haven't been there in 18 years but I still know what it feels like.

We are adults. At your worst times, don't be intimidated by ignorant misconceptions about suicide. It is your mind, you have the right to explore it, and you have the right to make whatever decision you feel is correct for you. Just remember that if there is one way of resolving an issue there may just be another way, one that is less violent, less irreversible; one that may just provide further options, one that may eventually lead to happiness, however remote that may appear at the moment.

Re: Suicide

#176

Post by jastuk » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:21 AM UTC

Just wanted to say thank you for posting this. I'm dealing with my own kind of problem (incurable disease) and have had almost exact thoughts for many years now. Couldn't have expressed them better.

Wish you all the best!

Re: Suicide

#177

Post by dho » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:25 AM UTC

Or 143 in Switzerland (http://www.143.ch)

Re: Suicide

#178

Post by rehack » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:36 AM UTC

Glad, you mention Anna Karenina. That's my all time favorite book. Read twice :-)

Re: Suicide

#179

Post by jackpirate » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 6:42 AM UTC

You only get to do this once. Is this the time?

I'm glad that recognizing this was a viable option was valuable to you. In general, I think it would be valuable to analytical people, the type that frequent HN.

For the average Joe, however, I think it is probably a mistake. Most people are not analytical thinkers, and once an idea gets into their heads they do not know how to react to it. Psychiatrists try to get people to stop thinking about suicide because statistically that will save more people's lives. (I'm not a psychiatrist, but have had plenty of training on suicide counseling as a naval officer.)

Re: Suicide

#180

Post by 30vanquish » Wed, Dec 14, 2011, 7:04 AM UTC

It's what keeps me going. I can't control what happens after I die but I can control what happens in this life. So I'm going to make my purpose in this life ---making an impact now. Even if it's ultimately meaningless in the universe's timeframe, so be it.