81–90 of 111 posts
The more I cared, less would happen.
The less I cared, more would happen.
There’s many various lessons in stoicism, taoism, and buddhism that I found made my life net positive and wishing I discovered / practiced them earlier. But like all things that ruins the magic of them now.
A general interest in philosophy will have you stumbling upon these ideas in all sorts of forms.
I decided I was not particularly interested in having a romantic relationship. My desire for endless intellectual and world exploration was bigger and I was not willing to compromise on this at all. And I enjoyed the experience more when I was alone, not having to consider someone's else opinion.
I am quite more happy now.
1. Don't assign to categories that which can be described through traits. Do not put things into "buckets" when it is possible to describe them by a collection of properties that they can have to varying magnitudes. The real world is a messy place, far too messy for buckets, and the more you can do this, the more flexible your mindset will be for what it throws your way.
2. All judgements are based on values, but others' judgements only matter to the extent (read "extent" as one of the varying-magnitude properties above) that they share your own values. You can't and won't please everyone, don't accept their attempts to shame or guilt you when you're living your values, their values are not more correct than yours.
3. Imagine a better version of yourself. More reasonable, more empathetic, more charismatic, more articulate, more expressive, a better negotiator, less impulsive, less abrasive, less arrogant, less cruel, etc. You choose what the better you is like according to your values, but these are some of mine. Strive to be this version of yourself whenever you can. Be on the lookout for cases where you are less successful than you expected, see where a better you could have succeeded, and take it as a lesson that moves you toward being that better person. And definitely don't fall for letting "be yourself" be an excuse to not be your better self.
4. Hold all knowledge as tentative. The difference between harmful dogmas and "absolute" knowledge is one that your subjective experience of that "knowledge" cannot differentiate. Before I realized this, I was extremely self-limiting and occasionally self-sabotaging.
Switching from seeking happiness to seeking meaning. Happiness is fleeting, and at some stretches of time, out of reach. Meaning is a more solid foundation to build a life around. It will get you through dark times, but it surprised me how much more I appreciated happiness as a result.
Camus thought it was the noblest of pursuits to try and create meaning in an absurd universe. Jung, thought meaning was the one thing a person couldn't abide living without. With those thoughts I think you're in pretty good company.
We are like cosmic ants on our little ant hill of a planet that can be kicked over by any number of events not least self inflicted annihilation through nuclear war.
It makes sense to me that most people without meaning will fall into distraction, hedonism or nihilism.
In a way I was lucky as my meaning was thrust on me as a parent. The best way I've heard it put is that the voluntary acceptance of responsibility creates meaning. That said, I was never going to shirk my responsibilities as a parent.
Having someone else who needed me gave me the meaning necessary to endure enormous suffering, to never let go, and to keep pushing through.
If I wasn't a parent I don't know how I would have done.
It's strange now to reflect because my life is so much better now and I'm oddly thankful for the ordeal.
Self-reflection (and a nice dose of stoicism) every now and then helps keep that in check, but it's also crippling to stay there too long.
This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful. You are feeling bad ? Get in shape, work more. Do the thigs you have been trying to avoid doing. Feeling depressed / suicidal ? No youtube / reels, do 1h of kickboxing or fitness everyday, sleep well. No excuses. Ever. Your mind IS stronger that you thin…
It's weird that the dudes who go all in on preaching the self-help/motivation circuit do drift into misogyny eventually. I think it's a marketing thing: It's self-help but for MEN because self-help is really feminized for whatever reason and tapping into dating resentment is such an easy way to get/retain an audience.
This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful. You are feeling bad ? Get in shape, work more. Do the thigs you have been trying to avoid doing. Feeling depressed / suicidal ? No youtube / reels, do 1h of kickboxing or fitness everyday, sleep well. No excuses. Ever. Your mind IS stronger that you thin…
That said, I'm glad you're able to identify and parse out the less positive aspects of his perspective.
If you're looking for a similar no nonsense, but without the more controversial and negative aspects I recommend looking into David Goggins.
This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful. You are feeling bad ? Get in shape, work more. Do the thigs you have been trying to avoid doing. Feeling depressed / suicidal ? No youtube / reels, do 1h of kickboxing or fitness everyday, sleep well. No excuses. Ever. Your mind IS stronger that you thin…
> This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful. I've found Jordan Peterson to offer similar, minus the brainless misogyny. However when I talk about Peterson to a valued friend, there is a sense of distaste. But I can't pretend to not find what he talks about really interesting. I think he offers go…
The good: Some of the rules from his "12 rules" are legitimately good advice that I wish I had embraced sooner in my life.
* "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping." (this is just good advice) * "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today." (mixed bag on this; a shoulder chip was a great motivator and learning that I'm not an imposter and never was has made me healthier but it's harder to motivate myself on work I'm not interested in), * "Tell the truth – or, at least, don't lie." (I lied to myself a lot when the facts didn't support my beliefs; that was a mistake). * "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't." (I started learning much more quickly when I realized that I didn't know everything).
The bad: Peterson doesn't live up to his own rules and confidently asserts expertise in areas far outside of his area of knowledge and when pressed he'll serve up some word salad variation of the absolutely mind-destroying (for young minds) position that "there is no right answer/it's impossible to know what's true so you can ignore that evidence that contradicts your beliefs" (paraphrasing based on things I've heard him say on climate science, epistemology, science, biology, etc).
Also, he really likes pushing some pretty racist or offensive theories when far more plausible explanations exist without being grotesquely racist. For example, in this clip [0], Peterson and Stefan Molyneux (a deplatformed eugenicist, as you may infer from the clip) assert genetic are the explanation for differences observed in IQ testing when grouping by race. Peterson just asserts that genetics are the cause of the measured difference, even though that theory is contradicted by many studies of twins [1] that show socioeconomic status has far more explanatory power than genetics do. Further, the difference in socioeconomic status by race is a direct consequence of explicitly racist federal housing policies [2] (seriously, ctrl+f through this underwriting manual for the string "racial"; it's explicit about the intention to push black people into ghettos far from economic opportunity, while creating economically prosperous and racially homogeneous neighborhoods for white Americans that have natural defenses against "infiltration of inharmonious racial groups", all by only underwriting mortgages for homes in racially homogeneous neighborhoods located near abundant economic opportunity). Why would Peterson assert some races are genetically inferior when the facts invalidate that hypothesis and much more explanations that haven't been refuted by reality exist?
TL;DR: Peterson is not a good role model. If you need a role model for coming into adulthood, you can do much better than Jordan Peterson.
[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HPiDbPjUzg
[1] http://ibg.colorado.edu/cdrom2016/franic/Moderation/Lit/Turk...
[2] https://www.huduser.gov/portal/sites/default/files/pdf/Feder...
I've always had this mindset, and I believe it's what has helped propel me forward in life: > I am responsible for every single thing that happens in my life. The power in this mindset is that it eliminates all excuses and makes you the captain of your destiny. The truth is, the vast majority of the things that happen in our lives, whether in the next 10 minutes or the next 10 years is ultimately the result of our de…
Ironically, adopting this attitude almost gave me a breakdown, but I got MS when I was 26 and then ended up being a caretaker for my sister with bipolar. I blamed myself for everything - after all, everybody else with my skill level/education can work 40+ hours a week in a professional job, so clearly there must be SOME answer. If programs don't work for us, I must have been doing something wrong. I would spend all o…
This one is going to be controversial, but as much as I despise misogyny, the motivational videos which I watched out of curiosity of Andrew Tate are quite powerful. You are feeling bad ? Get in shape, work more. Do the thigs you have been trying to avoid doing. Feeling depressed / suicidal ? No youtube / reels, do 1h of kickboxing or fitness everyday, sleep well. No excuses. Ever. Your mind IS stronger that you thin…
CT Fletcher was a huge influence on me when I was lifting (I hurt my back and can’t DL or squat anymore, so I just don’t workout), and it went well beyond the gym. When I started trying to break into a real IT role (I was doing POS help desk at the time), I’d wake up every day at 4:30 to watch videos about Linux administration. In three months, I went through about eighty-hours of Linux Academy training (from their i…
This is not true. I’ve has DL and CrossFit injuries hold me from training for years. And I’ve got back and am stronger than ever.
I know people who broke their backs who are deadlifting.
You have to tell your body that what got it in trouble is not blacklisted and can actually be good for you.