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Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

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Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#141

Post by [deleted] »

jemmyw wrote: post #131
javajosh wrote: post #124

My mother told me to not care what other people thought. She also told me that words can't really hurt people ("sticks and stones..."). She also believed its "mean" to have any preference about people, calling it a version of "keeping score". In fact, "keeping score" was one of the worst things you could be accused of in my household. Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails…

To be fair to your mother, this particular advice and view was rampant when I grew up in the 80s/90s. My experience was that this is quite backwards. Physical altercations at school didn't hurt that much, but the name calling, social shunning and constant verbal put down was very painful and has affected my whole life.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#143

Post by tsol »

orzig wrote: post #26

The value of advice comes from arriving at the right moment to the right person, not some platonic, universal “goodness“. For example, I wanted to drop out of college to work on climate change, and an adult in that community who I respected immensely told me “calm down, it won’t be too late by the time you graduate“. Not too many people needed the advice to worry less about climate change (especially 15 years ago), b…

The best piece of advice I received was 'slow and steady wins the race'. It's something I heard a 1000 times before and 1000 times after, and it never meant that much to me. When I heard it, though, at just the right time and it made just the right amount of sense that it totally changed my perspective on everything radically since then. It's totally changed the way I operate and the way I look at things. But I can't really communicate to other people what _exactly_ it means to me, because when I say it to other people they just hear 'slow and steady wins the race' the way I did the first 1000 times.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#144

Post by Otek »

nonasktell wrote: post #106
ghstcode wrote: post #73

Before spending the last money I had on a coding book, the cashier could see my hesitation and said "don't worry, investing in yourself is never a waste of money". It had a profound impact on me.

For anyone reading this and thinking about spending your last 10 bucks on a programming book please use Libgen or a free mooc

Well yes and no. Spending money on something, especially when you’re short on money, makes you value it more and overall for me this would make it more likely to actually go through that book. But that’s me.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#145

Post by photochemsyn »

Daneel_ wrote: post #109
photochemsyn wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I always have to Google which of my bike pedals is reverse threaded. It's a bit embarrassing, as I always think I should be able to figure it out from the whole angular momentum - torque thing.

With the crank in the position closest to the front tyre (horizontal and forward), put your allen key in the socket while aimed at 12 o'clock (ie, upward) and rotate toward the rear of the bike. The rule is basically: rotate against the direction of the crank's rotation to undo.

Awesome, thanks.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#146

Post by SwiftyBug »

jemmyw wrote: post #125

After you've been lying or sitting and you get up and go for a wee, once done press up just behind your balls. Oftentimes that pushes out a big drip that was otherwise going to come out later once you had your pants done up. The best abstract advice I've been given is to say "I don't know" when I don't know. No waffle, no bullshit, no trying to save face. Saves a lot of time.

The peeing advice is gold! One day I just discovered that on my own and it changed everything.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#148

Post by darkerside »

em-bee wrote: post #135
beachy wrote: post #107

The things that annoy you the most about your partner will be the same things that you will miss the most when they are gone. I try and reflect on this advice when I am struggling to communicate with my wife. Having been divorced once I feel that a positive living relationship is always (well, usually maybe) within our own control.

only when those things that annoy you are not also things that hurt you. but yes, it is good to reflect on that, and find out if something is actually a problem.

That's the difference between pain and discomfort. Learning that difference physically and emotionally had been one of my biggest awakenings as a person.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#150

Post by candiddevmike »

dominicdoty wrote: post #11
JackOfCrows wrote: post #7

Most people will use time to save money. However, your time on earth is limited unless the Silicon Valley weirdos happen to be right. Money is infinite in that you can earn more or get a second job or get a better paying job or whatever. (Obviously only to a point but stay with me). Also: your time does have value or it should since it is limited. What would you pay for an hour of your life "back"? Or an hour to do w…

While I broadly agree with this, you have to be careful you don't slide too far into this mindset. Vacations become hard to justify if you view them as both the price of the vacation+lost income opportunity. It's easy to find yourself in a place where it's hard to justify doing anything but working.

Vacations are already hard to justify IMO. All the garbage and fuel so you can go somewhere for a few days and inconvenience folks that live there?
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