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An ode to that “coffee friend”

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Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#71

Post by mixmastamyk »

leidenfrost wrote: post #66
fishtoaster wrote: post #47

I thing I decided late in life is that being really into things is cool. Something I'm rather sad about is that highschool kinda beat that attitude out of me. I was a classic nerd, including all the bad attributes that label comes with, but also one really good one: I was really into a number of things. But I learned from hard experience that being super into stuff was lame - being disinterested and too cool for stuf…

I thought of that, but later in life I saw how most kids were ok with other kind of "nerds" as long as they were sociable and not ugky. I remember of a kid who was nerdier than me, but he didn't fit into the usual nerdy social anxiety and he also did boxing as a hobby so he was ok. I concluded that it was not really about interest.

Yep, we had a few geeks on the football team, no one was bothered.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#72

Post by agileAlligator »

sublinear wrote: post #57
fishtoaster wrote: post #47

I thing I decided late in life is that being really into things is cool. Something I'm rather sad about is that highschool kinda beat that attitude out of me. I was a classic nerd, including all the bad attributes that label comes with, but also one really good one: I was really into a number of things. But I learned from hard experience that being super into stuff was lame - being disinterested and too cool for stuf…

At the risk of sounding immature and causing offense (none intended), I think it's important to remember why your initial instinct in youth was to dislike unironic enthusiasm. I can only speak for myself, but was trying to avoid being labeled. I wanted to people to actually get to know me and not just use me as a means to an end. I am not merely my hobbies. I do enjoy helping people out from time to time, but I stron…

Irony/insincerity is a malaise of modern times. Being sincere about something leaves us vulnerable, open to attack. So we hide under successive layers of irony, until we ourselves aren't sure where our true beliefs lie.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#73

Post by CTDOCodebases »

This will sound so unappreciative but if you are going to bother gifting someone something they are into maybe talk with them and understand what they like.

Being "into coffee" before it was really a thing I can't count how many times someone has given me a bag of coffee that is roasted to taste like an ashtray many moons ago.

It's not that I don't appreciate the gesture. It's just that I know I can't be truthful about the gift and these white lies weaken the friendship.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#74

Post by vl »

atomicnumber3 wrote: post #42
wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

My personal hack for this is to be into french brandies and wines. 30% of the French government is dedicated to ensuring that when you buy "Cognac" or "Armagnac" or "St Emilion, Bordeax" you are getting exactly that. Also makes it easy for my wife to tell others: "Cognac, Grande/Petite/Fine Champagne". And boom, guaranteed right thing. Also, no redundancy - just more to drink.

But you are running a risk of ending up with godzillion of VS bottles :)

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#75

Post by kqr »

mixmastamyk wrote: post #71
leidenfrost wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought of that, but later in life I saw how most kids were ok with other kind of "nerds" as long as they were sociable and not ugky. I remember of a kid who was nerdier than me, but he didn't fit into the usual nerdy social anxiety and he also did boxing as a hobby so he was ok. I concluded that it was not really about interest.

Yep, we had a few geeks on the football team, no one was bothered.

I think the governing principle is that people want to belong to a social group, and to achieve that belonging, they need to be as un-like other social groups as possible, to make their affiliation clear.

In other words, cool kids are fine with hanging out with un-cool kids, if it can be done in a way that does not involve un-coolness at all, so they don't become un-cool by association.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#76

Post by pvg »

bee_rider wrote: post #64
pvg wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Pretty neat that your perfect gift has been invented and you have the skills and gear to mount and display it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Mouth_Billy_Bass

Technically I guess it is a Power Bass, which you'd think would be a little more rock n' roll.

a little more rock n' roll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgsQR1qECso

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#77

Post by notinfuriated »

bee_rider wrote: post #61

> I love when a friend is into something like coffee. We all know someone like that— they grind their own beans, brew their own fancy coffees, and have their own favorite coffee shop to get a cold brew. Please somebody tell me this is an incredibly low bar to be "the coffee friend" -- I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility.

Seems like a high enough bar to me. I know zero people like this, despite the article assuring me that we all know someone like this.

If I did know someone like this, I suppose I'd think of them as my "coffee friend" or rather, friend who is really into coffee. That is unless they also had a bunch of other esoteric hobbies that overshadow the coffee thing.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#78

Post by dheera »

SECProto wrote: post #13
plantain wrote: post #7

I do the exact opposite. Buying a gift for an expert when you are not an expert is always going to lead to disappointment, no matter how well they hide it. I buy gifts only from areas that I am an expert in, and I hope my friends may not be as enthusiastic about the area as I am, but at least we both know I got them the best for them.

I am "that coffee friend", and I disagree. I appreciate the coffee anyone might get me. It doesn't have to be fancy, it may be fantastic or it may not be - but it's very thoughtful, and I always appreciate it. Generally people shouldn't get me coffee gear - as that could lead to disappointment. But the beans themself? always well received.

I think it's easier for consumables. I'm into tea and I'd say the same. You could get me any tea and one way or another I'd find a way to enjoy, since I enjoy non-fancy teas and enjoy trying new teas I haven't seen before.

I'm also into photography, and any kind of photography gear you get me is likely to be incompatible with my setups or the types of work I do.

Same with cooking. Someone got me a frying pan once for my birthday because the coating was coming off, and I had been intending to buy a new one. It was a nice frying pan, but it isn't compatible with my induction stove, so that gift pan is sitting unused in a drawer somewhere, and I had to buy my own new one that is compatible with my stove.

Basically -- Buy consumables as gifts. Never buy equipment, unless they're a enthusiastic beginner and you're an expert.

Re: An ode to that “coffee friend”

#79

Post by rippercushions »

2muchcoffeeman wrote: post #43
wfleming wrote: post #39

As somebody who has been “that coffee friend” and received far too many coffee-related gifts for years (including many pounds of stale, burnt beans), I wish people wouldn’t do this. If I’m super into topic X and you’re not, there’s a good chance whatever you get will either not be of interest (e.g. bad beans) or just redundant (I can only use so many mugs or grinders). Obviously the thought is always appreciated, and…

This is why I like the “lame” gifts. Once I got a towel. Only one, but still, I needed to get some new ones and now I get to delay shopping that while longer because who wants to buy towels? Awesome. People always think of gifts as fancy stuff. But if you can save me some time, or feed me, fantastic.

The most useful baby gift I ever received was a set of simple towels with the baby's name embroidered on them. 10 years later they're still going strong, when every other gift (romper suits, teddy bears, bouquets etc) is long gone.
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