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75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

1000hoursoutside.com

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Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#471

Post by amag »

Defitio wrote: post #466
amag wrote: post #459

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Even so, that person will not be you. Even if they will go through exactly the same things you've been through they may not have the same experience. You cannot know if it was worth it for them. I think it's fine if people don't have kids, I just find the reasoning "what if they suffer, etc" a cop-out. You cannot know that beforehand and even if they suffer, they may still find meaning in life.

Regret emotions etc. are only possible when you are alive. Missery etc also can only be felt when you are alive. You clearly don't take any responsibility at all otherwise I'm lost on how easy you just dismiss concerns.

So is joy, happiness and pleasure. I feel sorry for you if your life is only filled with regret and misery. For most people there are ways out of misery but it all starts with the realization that it's not a necessity. When you're depressed it's difficult to imagine ever being able to feel anything else again but knowing that it is possible can put you on the right track.

Maybe your need to pass judgement on my character based on two posts should tell you something about yourself. It really takes an inflated ego to, as a non-parent, talk about responsibility with a parent. Paraphrasing: "Responsibility as a parent is heavy as a mountain, deciding not to have children is light as a feather".

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#472

Post by latexr »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

“In study after study you see that either children have no effect or they have a small negative effect. I do not know of a single study showing that people with children are happier than people without them.”

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2EiV4-ClcIs&t=36m20s

It doesn’t end there, he‘s a parent himself and attempts to not only present but interpret and justify the data.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#473

Post by logical_ferry »

Defitio wrote: post #468
logical_ferry wrote: post #465

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Last several replies you gave are such high quality. I hate it when people overintellectualize such obvious things like having a kid. I would have flipped out at the other poster, but you stuck in there and gave some really good points. Awesome.

Having kids is everything but obvious. Don't dismiss critical thinking with an attack on you just because it feels obvious to you.

No post body was provided.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#474

Post by imetatroll »

WheatMillington wrote: post #90
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

Life was pretty vapid in a deeper sense until I had children so I have to disagree with you. It is a challenge but is the only challenge that I have experienced in my life that truly feels worthwhile.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#475

Post by Fire-Dragon-DoL »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I love my kids and agree with some things you said, but I should point out that time feels way faster since I had kids. Our "just a blip" is _months_, which is a lot of time for a human being.

And my "hobbies" were all shared with my wife, so I can still practice them, but they are all affected.

Having two close by does help: they play a lot together.

Hanging with your kids is beautiful, but at times I would like to use all my brainpower, rather than 10% of it. I can't do that meaningfully if I play with them.

Either way, I don't regret having them, they are amazing. I love how they climb on you all the time. I love how they are attached to my wife. Trying to figure out how to maintain a good relationship in teenager years, I'm afraid it's really hard.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#476

Post by joshuahedlund »

WheatMillington wrote: post #90
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

> I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more

I remember feeling like this when I had 2 kids under 6. Now they are both slightly past 6 and I feel everything the parent comment said about how brief that time was - they are in school most of the day, when they are home they spend at least some time playing Legos, watching shows, playing Minecraft, reading books. I have more time for hobbies than I've had in years. They are even starting to be old enough to accompany me on some of my hobbies. The reversal is so stark it's hard for me to comprehend how long it felt at the time and how short it looks now.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#477

Post by frankfrankfrank »

honkycat wrote: post #460
fubar12 wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I still strive to treat others with kindness and respect and have largely been successful at this. Recall that you wrote this in a comment recently, and then reconsider what you wrote above, regardless of how you might feel about what the parent wrote.

calling schools, which are just filled with normal-fucking-people "indoctrination camps" is ridiculous and ignorant and is a framing that attempts to justify violence. "indoctrination CAMPS", like "concentration CAMPs", implying teachers are nazis. If you want to espouse freakish beliefs i am going to ridicule you. Sorry freaks. To quote the same comment: "Learn to identify these types of people, and do not share you…

The level of self-deluded irrationality you exhibit makes my point. You are the one who seems to think on a base(nazi) level. Tell me, how many nazis is the weather today? Are the nazis everywhere? Please do tell.

In case you are not catching on; just because the word “camp” appears in “concentration camp” and you have been viscerally conditioned all your life to produce negative neurological signals upon association with the code/signal “concentration camp” like any other trained animal, does not make my use of “camp” any of what you associate it with.

So you can further understand; I used “camp” because it is a camp, an assembly and concentration of facilities, you know, the root of “campus”. It is a camp, campus (whichever you prefer) within which people are indoctrinated to the state/government/ruling class whims; hence, indoctrination camp(us).

Man, is there any education provided at all anymore? It’s starting to feel like talking to the children of the corn, who do not understand how anything works.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#478

Post by Handytinge »

crftr wrote: post #292
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is a spring suit?

A spring suit is a wetsuit that's normally worn in cool water--e.g. in the spring or fall. Spring suits normally have short arms and short legs.

I envisioned a lycra bodysuit with springs taped all over it, so the kid would bounce up in the event of falling over.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#479

Post by honkycat »

frankfrankfrank wrote: post #477
honkycat wrote: post #460

Earlier quoted context omitted.

calling schools, which are just filled with normal-fucking-people "indoctrination camps" is ridiculous and ignorant and is a framing that attempts to justify violence. "indoctrination CAMPS", like "concentration CAMPs", implying teachers are nazis. If you want to espouse freakish beliefs i am going to ridicule you. Sorry freaks. To quote the same comment: "Learn to identify these types of people, and do not share you…

The level of self-deluded irrationality you exhibit makes my point. You are the one who seems to think on a base(nazi) level. Tell me, how many nazis is the weather today? Are the nazis everywhere? Please do tell. In case you are not catching on; just because the word “camp” appears in “concentration camp” and you have been viscerally conditioned all your life to produce negative neurological signals upon association…

Your inane ramblings defeat themselves.

> is a camp, campus (whichever you prefer)

It is not common vernacular to use them interchangeably. You arguing this shows how weak your attempt to backpedal is.

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