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75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

1000hoursoutside.com

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Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#301

Post by spockz »

nlitened wrote: post #296
spockz wrote: post #260

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The kids being down at 730/19:30 doesn’t mean everything is done: Laundry, cleaning after dinner, tidying up, ordering groceries/making shopping lists, actually doing groceries, fixing something in/at house/car/garden, taking out trash(diapers), paper/plastic, researching which child seat to buy when they get bigger, parent/teacher sessions. This when you are lucky. Maybe even preparation for work or study is needed…

Have you tried outsourcing all the chores? Get a nanny, a gardener, a personal assistant, hire handymen, don’t cook at home. Sorry for being analytical about it, I am personally interested in having kids—and so far it seems to me that you’re overburdening yourself with too much stuff that you don’t have to do at all.

I can outsource and I do, I also readily buy any tool or appliance that saves me time. But not everyone is as well of that they can afford to do that.

Also, I have found that there is significant benefit in doing chores yourself. At least it gives me a sense of accomplishment and a chance to do something with my hands instead of thinking a lot and then wiggle some fingers to type or draw PowerPoint.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#302

Post by gcanyon »

Wait But Why already covered this, from the child's perspective: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

"It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end."

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#303

Post by ojl »

julianlam wrote: post #258
jollofricepeas wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You know what’s kind of weird? …When people say they can’t do any of their own hobbies because they have kids. I get it if you’re into kinky or extremely dangerous hobbies BUT… - I’ve always shared my hobbies with my kids. When I was really into making music, I gave my toddler at first Toca Music and then eventually their own iPad with GarageBand and we would just make songs together. - When I wrote apps, I taught th…

I agree but sadly my 3 year old isn't able to rock climb, and he's a danger to himself in a room with free weights (much less actual plates), so I think I may just have to pick up additional hobbies.

Maybe he’s too young now but many kids like climbing in general so soon you might be able to go climbing together :)

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#304

Post by Morgawr »

magicalhippo wrote: post #99
keithnz wrote: post #8

on the flip side, a lot of kids experiences before 12 will be forgotten, some will be super memorable for their entire lives, but a lot of their memories of you as a "parent" and who you are as a person will be after the age of 12.

I've reached my 40s, but I have lots of memories of things I did with my parents and others from I was 4 and up. Not super special stuff either, but also "daily" interactions. Now, I don't feel like I have a particularly great memory, I just imagined everyone could recall many different things from their childhood. However I've noticed in the last few years both my SO and my mom often utter surprise when I recall som…

I'm just like you, I have so many memories as a kid playing with my parents (mostly my dad) and my sister. From the age of 3-4, I remember my dad coming home with a new PC (didn't know what a PC was back then), "helping" him set it up, trying out games (mostly MS Paint) with him, etc. I remember playing "teaching" my dad to play with pokemon cards. I remember a lot of evenings we spent together playing Doom II, Monkey Island, Tomb Raider, and a lot of other computer games (I remember my sister would press the "shoot" key, my dad the arrow keys to move around, and I was in charge of pressing numbers 1-9 to swap weapons in Doom).

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#305

Post by fubar12 »

honkycat wrote: post #201
frankfrankfrank wrote: post #48

That is clearly only true for people who for some irrational and detached reason hand their children over to the strangers of the indoctrination camps we still call schools.

Earth to Mars: you're a freak and your beliefs are freakish

> I still strive to treat others with kindness and respect and have largely been successful at this.

Recall that you wrote this in a comment recently, and then reconsider what you wrote above, regardless of how you might feel about what the parent wrote.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#306

Post by Morgawr »

NotYourLawyer wrote: post #169
debacle wrote: post #59

It might be in the article but I didn't see it. Where's the citation for this statistic?

Why does it need a citation? It's absolutely plausible just based on back-of-the-napkin math. I'd be surprised if it's off by more than 10% in the majority of cases.

> Why does it need a citation?

Because a lot of stuff you read online is made up, misleading, wrong, or even all three. Either on purpose or not. The most insidious stuff is what "seems plausible" but isn't, it's how you get stuff like common myths and misconceptions[0]. Shouting "source?" at every article is not pleasant and may sound annoying, but I think we should respect people who question things (or simply want to dig more) rather than pushing back asking for "why". The pursuit of (true) knowledge in and on itself is something that shouldn't be questioned, especially in this technological age.

[0] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#307

Post by Xixi »

WheatMillington wrote: post #90
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

Parent wrote "The sleepless nights and diaper changes are a mere blip on the scale of a lifetime with kids." You still pretty much in the middle of that blip. It is exhausting. When your kids are getting closer to 10, you will have a very different perspective. And you will have as much time as you want to enjoy hobbies, going out, etc.

Source: I have a 12yo at home.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#308

Post by gernb »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I'd be curious if this holds up just viewing my friends kids. It seems from the outside, some enjoy their kids, some don't. Some have kids who are generally pleasant to be around, some don't.

I've always wanted kids but I of course imagine having the pleasant to be around kind. Not that I wouldn't do my best to see they come out that way but I'm sure most of the parents with unpleasant kids thought they were doing the right thing at the time.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#309

Post by mingusrude »

lhball wrote: post #291
WheatMillington wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think I'm necessarily having the same experience as you.... my advice to people who aren't sure if they want kids, is DON'T. It's bloody hard, you sacrifice A LOT. Don't have kids unless you're very sure it's what you want. I have 2 kids under 6 and I feel like I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more. I leave for work first thing, come home in the afternoon, and haven't had any time for myse…

> I just don't have any time for any of my hobbies any more Exactly this. I have 2 under six, and outside the odd night were my wife bathes both kids, from 6am to 9pm I’m either working or hanging out with my kids. Maybe 2-3 times a month I’ll get 4 hours to myself to go watch a baseball/hockey game. At the end of the day though, I look back and I’m grateful. I tell myself “where did my hobbies go” but deep down I kn…

When we had kids I realized that I had to get new hobbies because I wouldn't be able to keep doing the old ones. I pretty much decided that cooking and looking after house plants were going to be be my new hobbies since I knew that I would actually have time for it because of necessity (well maybe not the plants). It worked out OK, I still enjoy cooking a lot.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#310

Post by mustafabisic1 »

I enjoyed the comments section much more than the article itself (even though it's a great article)

There is something magical to me about seeing other people's experiences (especially positive ones)

P.S. I've noticed we're in a need for more streamlined info on being a parent in the world we live in so I created a weekly newsletter for remote-working parents - https://thursdaydigest.com/

Most of my subscribers are coming from comments just like this.

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