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75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

1000hoursoutside.com

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Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#51

Post by purpleblue »

ourmandave wrote: post #25

This reminds me of that song I really hate, Cat's in the Cradle. I've long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind He said, I'd love to, dad, if I can find the time You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you, dad It's been sure nice talking to you And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me H…

All my friends have guided their parenting based on this song. It has had a tremendous effect on me.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#52

Post by Ptchd »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

I never wanted kids and I ended up being a stay-at-home parent... messed up my life pretty good...

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#55

Post by deamanto »

PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

Hey just wanted to say that I really appreciate this comment and it's an opinion I haven't seen shared before even though in hindsight it's obvious.

I personally have chosen not to have kids - one reason is doomer level but the other is time and independence. I have a dog that is a relatively (to kids) minor responsibility but in my day to day life feels like the biggest responsibility, I compare that to having a kid which I would say is a lot more and I wouldn't want to take on as I've already experienced a dog and that is as far as I'd go. But while you haven't changed my mind, you have negated a lot of my feelings towards a previously thought "lifelong responsibility"

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#56

Post by Ptchd »

keithnz wrote: post #8

on the flip side, a lot of kids experiences before 12 will be forgotten, some will be super memorable for their entire lives, but a lot of their memories of you as a "parent" and who you are as a person will be after the age of 12.

I was a stay at home parent from 0-9yo for 4 kids and now my wife is trying to kick me out of their life and get child support... fun times.

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#57

Post by twoodfin »

rjh29 wrote: post #45
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

When I imagine taking kids to the park, or camping or reading to them, or playing with them it just seems like a chore. Is that something that magically becomes different if it's _your_ kid? With my niece and nephew I enjoyed playing with them for an hour or so, then I wanted to be left alone. I get the feeling parenting is a bad idea in general for people who love being alone for extended periods of time.

When I imagine taking kids to the park, or camping or reading to them, or playing with them it just seems like a chore. Is that something that magically becomes different if it's _your_ kid?

Yes, of course. It’s not likely magic, more millions of years of evolutionary biology.

But boy it feels like magic.

(FWIW, I’m also someone who enjoys long stretches of alone time. Still get to do it, if somewhat less frequently. Still enjoy it.)

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#58

Post by mcrider »

rjh29 wrote: post #45
PragmaticPulp wrote: post #41

One of the things I have a hard time conveying to non-parents is that the most time-intensive parts of parenting don't last forever. I've talked to a lot of young people who say they don't want kids because they think their personal lives will permanently halt the moment they have kids. I spend a lot of time trying to explain that: 1) I still spend a lot of time with friends and can do most of my personal hobbies/act…

When I imagine taking kids to the park, or camping or reading to them, or playing with them it just seems like a chore. Is that something that magically becomes different if it's _your_ kid? With my niece and nephew I enjoyed playing with them for an hour or so, then I wanted to be left alone. I get the feeling parenting is a bad idea in general for people who love being alone for extended periods of time.

It definitely does but not completely. You are probably going to be totally smitten with your kid and spending time with them, even if its something "boring" is going to be really enjoyable. Unfortunately, your kid can sometimes be a brat (or at least mine is sometimes, but I'd guess a lot are!) and then these activities that are good for them can feel like a chore.

I definitely like having my own space and at least with one kid, I'm still getting plenty of it. But the time I spend with her is incredibly rewarding (most of the time ;)

Re: 75% of the time we spend with our kids in our lifetime will be spent by age 12

#60

Post by TrueGeek »

scarby2 wrote: post #26
gamerDude wrote: post #17

This is also a reminder of the opposite. For those of us on here, we have less than 25% of our time with our parents left. I lost my father earlier this year. I count myself lucky that I felt very satisfied and complete in our relationship.

i likely have < 5% left. I moved internationally and have parents in their 70s i will likely see them less than 200 days in total.

My wife and I are looking to do the same in the next couple years. How has your experience been?

We’re worried they’ll get sick and we won’t be able to help. We’ve tried getting them to come with us but so far no luck.

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