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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#541

Post by mindwok »

mikrl wrote: post #402

This might sound facetious, but my biggest regret is spending time regretting things. I was socially awkward and tried to overcome it: had fun, had panic attacks, learned some tricks, but still just as socially awkward. Many other flaws of mine I’ve tried to overcome similarly and not really got anywhere. I just don’t care about them now and want to be unapologetically ME as I exist. This attitude has ended up paying…

Authenticity is endearing. And if you’re mindful enough to try and overcome your shortcomings, you’re probably mindful enough to be a genuinely good person albeit with a few rough edges like the rest of us. You sound great!

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#542

Post by pavanto »

My life is full of regrets and nostalgia.

When I was studying for Master's in Sweden about 20 years back, I had a crush on an Austrian girl. I was so timid and had lack of confidence that I never asked her out due to fear of rejection. In fact most of the decisions and I took and still taking are influenced by fear of rejection.

I know how to live a happy life theoretically but don't know how to implement in the real life.

Sometimes I feel life had given me quite a few opportunities and squandered them

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#543

Post by nickd2001 »

switch007 wrote: post #497
zmibes wrote: post #313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Still easy, don't remoan just do it

Really? Name a country other than Ireland in the EU where I can just turn up and work immediately without a visa.

If you live and work in Ireland for 5 yrs you can become Irish as well as British, and effectively get your EU rights back. If I was younger, I'd be very tempted. Of course this door may not be open for ever with united Ireland on the horizon. If you don't do it, you may end up replying "I wish I had" to an identical Q to this on HN in 20 yrs time ;)

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#544

Post by [deleted] »

bsnnkv wrote: post #258
bsnnkv wrote: post #255

Going to try and repost this comment because from what I can tell it was shadow banned, maybe for use of a word that triggered a filter? Most of these I have made peace with and addressed in my life now, but historically, these have been my biggest regrets: Becoming addicted to prngrfy and mstrbtion in my early teens and staying addicted throughout my 20s. I have been sober for years now, and for me, it was only poss…

Yeah, my previous comment definitely doesn't show up on my profile or on this thread when I try to view it on both this submission and my profile in a logged-out state. dang: I think this is because I used the full "p" word in my initial post, can you confirm?

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#545

Post by switch007 »

nickd2001 wrote: post #543
switch007 wrote: post #497

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? Name a country other than Ireland in the EU where I can just turn up and work immediately without a visa.

If you live and work in Ireland for 5 yrs you can become Irish as well as British, and effectively get your EU rights back. If I was younger, I'd be very tempted. Of course this door may not be open for ever with united Ireland on the horizon. If you don't do it, you may end up replying "I wish I had" to an identical Q to this on HN in 20 yrs time ;)

I’m quite familiar with Ireland (I’ve lived there), and the Irish government’s process for citizen applications. Hard no from me for various reasons. It’s why I said “other than Ireland”.

I have other options though and I’m actively exploring them. But unsurprisingly none are “easy” :-)

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#546

Post by fregonics »

Oneiros512 wrote: post #278
DontchaKnowit wrote: post #179

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…

Regarding social skills, I feel like I can relate to how you describe your situation. I was extremely socially anxious when I was younger and basically avoided any social interactions I could. Throughout highschool and college I never had any friends to speak of or dated. I mostly shut myself away with video games and other solitary interests. I moved to a new city away from my family when I was 27 and that was when…

> I started reading up on social skills

Could you recommend some of the resources you read to learn social skills? I'm currently fighting the same fight you did, and maybe it could help.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#547

Post by whoibrar »

jugg1es wrote: post #139

While at a house party during summer break while in college, my summer-time girlfriend and a girl I had dated in high school started making out and I was so surprised about it that I missed an opportunity for a threesome. I later talked about it with them and they admitted that they were thinking about it and would have done it if I had suggested it. Can't tell you how many times I've regretted not acting that night.

wasn't expecting to read this at the time I logged on but glad to have read it anyways (:

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#548

Post by nickd2001 »

switch007 wrote: post #545
nickd2001 wrote: post #543

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you live and work in Ireland for 5 yrs you can become Irish as well as British, and effectively get your EU rights back. If I was younger, I'd be very tempted. Of course this door may not be open for ever with united Ireland on the horizon. If you don't do it, you may end up replying "I wish I had" to an identical Q to this on HN in 20 yrs time ;)

I’m quite familiar with Ireland (I’ve lived there), and the Irish government’s process for citizen applications. Hard no from me for various reasons. It’s why I said “other than Ireland”. I have other options though and I’m actively exploring them. But unsurprisingly none are “easy” :-)

Care to spill the beans on why "Hard no?". I have to say that seeing the way the UK is going, (or should I say England since the rest of the UK probably will break off before long, Scotland for sure) , Ireland looks tempting to me. I'd worry about anti-English sentiment there. People bitch about the Irish health service but NHS probably no better now it seems to me.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#549

Post by Maketsuki »

hypertele-Xii wrote: post #40

I've consciously moved on from ruminating on the past and replaying alternate timelines in my mind, to thinking about what I actually can change: the present, and the future. Life is a blind let's play. It's more fun to watch exactly because you don't know what's going to happen. Having the ability to play it again would destroy consequence, and thus meaning, to one's actions. Spending extraordinary amounts of time t…

Beautifully said. Thank you.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#550

Post by bigbillheck »

graycat wrote: post #534
bigbillheck wrote: post #500

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If we're talking gender and essential truths about behavior here, then as one dude to another I honestly have to tell you that: > For me, I still have her high school graduation picture in the UR corner of my computer screen -- I'm still in love with her. That was a failure. I believe that had I known what I wish I had known, I could have saved the relationship, likely had a really good marriage, etc. We would have d…

Yes, but you don't know how pretty she was, and how sweet and feminine, etc. otherwise!! Also, no one understands love, in particular, you don't. I'm not nearly the first man to stay in love for life!

> I'm not nearly the first man to stay in love for life!

Sure, but for most of those dude's it's with their partner.

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