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Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

paulgraham.com

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Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#21

Post by 1letterunixname »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #13
sollewitt wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't have kids.

The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely, but man, what a trade off (especially as I’d like to have kids for my mom’s sake, and she’s not getting any younger).

Bank swimmers before 40. Get snipped. Your bank account and future offspring (should you choose) will thank you. Sperm quality declines with age and resulting offspring wouldn't necessarily be as healthy. Reminds me, I'm stepping away from the computer and going out. It's ACL.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#22

Post by ok_dad »

tempe1h1 wrote: post #16
rmckayfleming wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

I've found that I have gotten better at this as I've gotten older. it does get easier.

I’ve been forced to learn how to deal with “DAAAAAAADDY!” whatever I’m doing, so now I try to do as little loading of state into my head as possible.

Part of that is meticulous notes on what I’m currently doing and planning to do, lots of “todo” comments and comments in general, etc.

The other part is just learning to live with interruptions through experience.

Some people might not have the same success, your mileage may vary.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#23

Post by hypertele-Xii »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

You develop a parallel, compartmentalized sub-personality that makes eye contact, smiles, and poses for a kiss, while the rest of your brain keeps thinking.

That's how I deal with this. Seems to work. The wife is happy for the little bits of passing contact, while she remarks later how "out there somewhere" I've been all day. And then I summarize what I've been thinking about and genuinely listen and connect for our dedicated together-time.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#24

Post by theonething »

ZephyrBlu wrote: post #15
rmckayfleming wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

Programming is really weird like that. I feel like I get practically nothing done 80% of the time, but the 20% where I'm in a flow state and going ham makes up for it. You don't want to be disturbed at all when you're in that productive time.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one that experiences this.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#25

Post by djmips »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

What if you tried to explain it like it's similar to air traffic control. You wouldn't interrupt an air traffic controller would you?

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#26

Post by copperx »

yarky wrote: post #3
rmckayfleming wrote: post #2

I find this to be the absolute hardest part of living with someone. You’re at the mercy of their ability to interrupt you and I find it incredibly demoralizing.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

Well, Feynman tried that and failed.

"Reportedly, Feynman’s ex alleged that he didn’t just ignore her when he felt she interrupted him—he “flew into a violent rage,” and “choked her, threw pieces of bric-a-brac about and smashed the furniture."

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#27

Post by robotresearcher »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #13
sollewitt wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't have kids.

The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely, but man, what a trade off (especially as I’d like to have kids for my mom’s sake, and she’s not getting any younger).

Don’t have kids for anyone’s sake than your own. In the hard times you are better off if there’s no one else to blame.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#28

Post by makeitdouble »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

This isn’t a place for relationship advice, but there must be dozens of things she won’t understand, and same from the other side: you can’t deeply understand everything that matters to her, you’d need to basically relive her life in her shoes.

There’s a point where you dont’ get it, but just follow what the other side is requesting, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense to you.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#29

Post by makapuf »

dragonwriter wrote: post #14
rmckayfleming wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely, but man, what a trade off (especially as I’d like to have kids for my mom’s sake, and she’s not getting any younger).

> The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely Men don't have a sharp fertility cliff, but paternal age isn’t irrelevant to reproduction, either.

Taking care of the kids and sharing moments with them won't be easier when you grow older though, on the contrary. Fortunately that part is only 30 years long.
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