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Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

paulgraham.com

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Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#11

Post by rmckayfleming »

yarky wrote: post #3
rmckayfleming wrote: post #2

I find this to be the absolute hardest part of living with someone. You’re at the mercy of their ability to interrupt you and I find it incredibly demoralizing.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought.

edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a kiss” is the same thing. Like I don’t want to come across as an asshole, but that’s what it looks like from the outside.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#12

Post by rmckayfleming »

jjtheblunt wrote: post #4
rmckayfleming wrote: post #2

I find this to be the absolute hardest part of living with someone. You’re at the mercy of their ability to interrupt you and I find it incredibly demoralizing.

I find myself thinking just what you wrote every day of my married existence: it's unnatural to be in a state of pending interruption at all times.

I’d agree with others that solitude isn’t natural, but if you care about your work it’s kind of necessary. I find myself wishing I hadn’t moved in with my partner for this reason. But it’s hard to disengage from that choice once it’s been made.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#13

Post by rmckayfleming »

sollewitt wrote: post #10
rmckayfleming wrote: post #2

I find this to be the absolute hardest part of living with someone. You’re at the mercy of their ability to interrupt you and I find it incredibly demoralizing.

Don't have kids.

The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely, but man, what a trade off (especially as I’d like to have kids for my mom’s sake, and she’s not getting any younger).

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#14

Post by dragonwriter »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #13
sollewitt wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Don't have kids.

The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely, but man, what a trade off (especially as I’d like to have kids for my mom’s sake, and she’s not getting any younger).

> The benefit of being male is that I thankfully can defer this choice indefinitely

Men don't have a sharp fertility cliff, but paternal age isn’t irrelevant to reproduction, either.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#15

Post by ZephyrBlu »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

Programming is really weird like that. I feel like I get practically nothing done 80% of the time, but the 20% where I'm in a flow state and going ham makes up for it. You don't want to be disturbed at all when you're in that productive time.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#16

Post by tempe1h1 »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

I've found that I have gotten better at this as I've gotten older. it does get easier.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#17

Post by pengaru »

kweingar wrote: post #8
jjtheblunt wrote: post #4

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I find myself thinking just what you wrote every day of my married existence: it's unnatural to be in a state of pending interruption at all times.

> it's unnatural to be in a state of pending interruption at all times. I'd think the opposite is true. Interruption is natural, and prolonged sedentary focus is a human invention.

> I'd think the opposite is true. Interruption is natural, and prolonged sedentary focus is a human invention.

Have you never spent an entire day in the wilderness? IME it's usually devoid of interruption, unless it's a popular spot where other people show up.

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#18

Post by domnomnom »

rmckayfleming wrote: post #11
yarky wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seems like a communication issue though, just explain to them how important it is for you to focus uninterrupted and hopefully they'll respect you.

In general I agree, but if your partner isn’t used to that type of work they don’t really get it. Nor do they understand how a simple question can ruin an entire train of thought. edit: In explaining this to my girlfriend, I showed her this comic: https://heeris.id.au/2013/this-is-why-you-shouldnt-interrupt... Didn’t make any sense to her. And even after talking about this she doesn’t get that “just coming in for a k…

Start crying every time you get interrupted

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#19

Post by nawgz »

pengaru wrote: post #17
kweingar wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> it's unnatural to be in a state of pending interruption at all times. I'd think the opposite is true. Interruption is natural, and prolonged sedentary focus is a human invention.

> I'd think the opposite is true. Interruption is natural, and prolonged sedentary focus is a human invention. Have you never spent an entire day in the wilderness? IME it's usually devoid of interruption, unless it's a popular spot where other people show up.

The modern wilderness where almost all animals have died, with an outstanding bias to large animals and predators?

Not sure it is representative of pre-Industrial age wilderness if I'm honest

Re: Good and Bad Procrastination (2005)

#20

Post by 1letterunixname »

jjtheblunt wrote: post #4
rmckayfleming wrote: post #2

I find this to be the absolute hardest part of living with someone. You’re at the mercy of their ability to interrupt you and I find it incredibly demoralizing.

I find myself thinking just what you wrote every day of my married existence: it's unnatural to be in a state of pending interruption at all times.

This is why I loathe interacting with my mother. Love her but could never have her live with me. She had a stroke and doesn't realize she calls at the wrong times during business hours and how she's inconsiderate. Plus, her personality changed and she only brings perfunctory, negative, demanding, and judgmental interactions out-of-the-blue. Can't really talk to her about anything because her mental capacity isn't great, she lost her sense of humor, and she has a difficult time speaking.
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