Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#491

Post by hn-user-2345678 » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 7:40 AM UTC

Never being able to achieve financial security or wealth.

I live in a shabby house, and never feel I can afford anything whilst also trying to save for old age and knowing it will be an improverished life.

I've never been able to figure out how to make enough money to not be a salary slave. The fear of job loss and having to work til I die doing work I don't enjoy (and having no idea what else I could do and still keep a roof over our heads) is crushing. Every day.

And then I see folk succeeding in every financial way, buying; building and refurbishing homes, holidays, cars, socialising, clubs, private healthcare, private schools, private tuition, retirement, none of which I can do for my wife and son.

45 now and my body, brain and brain hurt from chasing a salary each month that's just enough to keep me going for the next month.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#492

Post by labarilem » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 7:51 AM UTC

bheadmaster wrote: post #140

I don't really "believe" in regret. At each and every point in my life, I was working with the information I had at my disposal, each information having its own "weight" in my mind. Every mistake I've made has brought some information in my mind that wouldn't have been brought otherwise. Fantasies of "changing the past" are seductive, but ultimately pointless. The only way I could justify having regrets, is reminding…

Agreed. Also sometimes regret comes out naturally and this is a swift and effective way to deal with it.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#493

Post by annyeonghada » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 8:11 AM UTC

TheAceOfHearts wrote: post #152

I've longed to kill myself for as far back as I can remember and I regret not having done so already. If I could change anything in history, I would chose to have never been born at all.

Same. I had already chosen the date but chickened out. The next time I will try getting drunk first.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#494

Post by lucidlive » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 10:24 AM UTC

spaceman_2020 wrote: post #107

Focused too much on making a living in my teens and 20s instead of college and social life. Never pursued artistic interests seriously because I was just too tired from working and stressing out about bills. Now I’m in my 30s with next to no social life and the realization that I’ve wasted away my time and whatever little talent I have. There’s a “regret” folder sitting in my Google Drive with two half-finished books…

Age is meaningless… it’s all about how you feel. So nothing is really ever too late.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#495

Post by iLoveOncall » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 11:15 AM UTC

rookiemistakes wrote: post #29

Last week, actually. Was a bit careless and inebriated while working on a demo and suddenly I realized I had luksFormatted the luks partition holding the only copy of keys for cryptocurrency worth ~$200k. That was a sizable fraction if my supposed net worth. Either I'm still in denial or I've risen above obsessive materialism as it doesn't affect me too much so far, though. Its just money. Unplugged the drive and hav…

You lost the money the second you put it in stupidcoin.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#496

Post by switch007 » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 11:48 AM UTC

tasuki wrote: post #393

switch007 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Was it 200k at the time, or appreciated later?

The comment you're replying to starts with "Last week, actually."

Oops yeah. Think I’m a bit dyslexic so misread that…!

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#497

Post by switch007 » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 11:50 AM UTC

zmibes wrote: post #313

switch007 wrote: post #22

Not pushing myself to go to a better university Not saving enough when younger Not moving to Europe when it was easier to do so (I’m British) Oh well. Life is too short to dwell on such things. You can only change the future, not the past.

Still easy, don't remoan just do it

Really? Name a country other than Ireland in the EU where I can just turn up and work immediately without a visa.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#498

Post by bitcoinmoney » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 12:26 PM UTC

pc86 wrote: post #311

suranyami wrote: post #70

Not leaving a destructive relationship sooner. Twice. The second one was the worst. I've since observed that behaviour in other couples, mostly with the men, but almost as frequently with the women that make the partner's feeling of self-worth completely revolve around them. It's toxic, left me with severe depression that is still an issue today. There is a certain type of internal self-talk that becomes a self-reinf…

I had to get out of an abusive relationship to see it was abusive, which I think is true for a lot - maybe even the vast majority - of people. She was emotionally abusive/manipulative, and that would occasionally branch into physicality. Never anything as overt as hitting/slapping, but certainly the occasional grab or shove. I also had friends bring up the emotional part (nobody ever saw anything physical) but your m…

Can u share some obvious and non obvious signs you’re in an abusive relationship?

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#499

Post by spicyusername » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 12:28 PM UTC

perilunar wrote: post #480

kormosi wrote: post #348

Earlier quoted context omitted.

100% agree. Had a realization about small steps making a huge difference a few days ago. It was so profound to me that I've written a short essay about it. https://kormosi.com/small-things/

You don't have to 100% agree, just not 0% agree!

Hah!

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#500

Post by bigbillheck » Sat, Oct 08, 2022, 1:19 PM UTC

graycat wrote: post #382

gilbetron wrote: post #189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> [i] Boys and girls, men and women are very different. People are different, splitting people up into two groups generally doesn't help anything. The vast majority of your life will be spent dealing with individuals, not groups. Don't treat individuals like any of their groups. > (A) The cliche that boys pay attention to things and girls, to people is not fully true but significantly often is true. I have found noth…

Your remarks about my post have to do with females, that is gender. Today that is a touchy, sensitive, politicized subject. You seem to be saying that, in dealing with people, should get more information. In a sense, you are correct: That sense is from applications of the Radon-Nikodym theorem. The charming proof by J. von Neumann is in the W. Rudin Real and Complex Analysis . In practice, not really: What I mentione…

If we're talking gender and essential truths about behavior here, then as one dude to another I honestly have to tell you that:

> For me, I still have her high school graduation picture in the UR corner of my computer screen -- I'm still in love with her. That was a failure. I believe that had I known what I wish I had known, I could have saved the relationship, likely had a really good marriage, etc. We would have done well with children:

This is pretty messed up.