Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

Definitely not too late. 30s are still very young.

Whatever your goal is, try to stop having 0% days.

You don't need to have 100% days, Just avoid having 0% days.

In a few months or a year you'll be surprised at the progress you've made.

Not starting a successful business.

I recently got into a mindset where I thought I may die. I was alone and had sudden chest pain. Anyway, my mind wandered to this question and I fixated on the fact that I’ve dreamed about it my entire life and yet I haven’t made it happen.

I did walk away from that feeling pretty good. After all, I had no immediate regrets about the important things like family and friends.

Read through the thread. Look how many stories there are of people losing years and years to something that they now regret. The realization is that this is the norm, not the exception. We're all just fragile and fallible and trying to make our way through life as best we can, and we all end up messing up big somewhere along the way.

It's easy to look back on 10 wasted years and think you failed, you blew your one chance at life. But if you come to realize that looking back on 10 wasted years is actually a common human struggle, it can help you reframe your regret as just another one of the trials of being a limited, mortal human and not take it so personally as your own failing.

If it's any consolation, while they may not be worthless, they're still useless.

> [i] Boys and girls, men and women are very different.

People are different, splitting people up into two groups generally doesn't help anything. The vast majority of your life will be spent dealing with individuals, not groups. Don't treat individuals like any of their groups.

> (A) The cliche that boys pay attention to things and girls, to people is not fully true but significantly often is true.

I have found nothing of significance in my life due to this purported "fact". People are people. Look at the individual, not the group.

> (B) Once from a real expert I got a flat statement: "Of COURSE, women are MUCH more emotional than men. That is the cause of all the problems.". That answered a lot of questions!

Uninteresting. Maybe you are less emotional. Maybe the people you dated were more emotional. If that is a problem, seek out less emotional people to date. There are plenty. More importantly, find someone that makes you feel good, regardless of any insipid advice about "women".

> (C) A large fraction of girls and women tend to be afraid -- the list is long with some standard items and some more. One of the more important things a boy/man can do is make it really clear to the female that they are at zero risk with him.

You should do this with anyone.

> (D) Generally girls/women are exposed to some means of manipulation, and some of them get good at it -- boys/men need to watch out for that.

Men manipulate just as much as women. Again, look to the individual. Stop thinking in terms of men vs women. Find someone that isn't manipulative.

> (E) Some girls are afraid of being in love (there is a lot to understanding love, and I can't cover all of it here) but, still, are very interested in sex. For them, holding hands can be more intimate than sexual intercourse. Boys/men need to realize that.

Take the gender out of this statement and it is an interesting one.

> [ii] A surprisingly large fraction of people are in some significant ways seriously mixed up. So, watch out for that. Also have a list of common ways and watch out for those.

See, great statement, absolutely decent advice because you kept gender out of it. Although it does sound too jaded. I'd rather state it as, "people struggle with life, understand a person's struggles and make sure you can handle them before becoming too deeply involved with them, not just romantically, but platonically, too."