It's okay to have strong opinions, but it's not okay to not listen to contrary views and not changing your opinion once you realise you are wrong.
Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
51–60 of 118 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#52This doesn't answer your question directly, but some very lucid discussion about a closely-related topic that might be of use to you, if you haven't seen it, came across HN earlier in the week:
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#53Ironic question for this forum. Don’t be less opinionated. Lowering your standards is like poisoning your own well. The question should be “how to avoid sounding like an ass?” Opinions aren’t the problem, lack of awareness and sensitivity towards others maybe. There are correct contexts and methods for everything, learning to recognize and adapt to these are imperative for social survival. Having opinions however is…
I think it is a fair question. The older I get I see the less opinionated I get. The opinions get replaced with curiosity as I become old. The reason I am getting less opinionated is that as years go by I come across contradictions to strong opinions I held before which weakens the fervor with which I held those opinions. So I don't think that being less opinionated is lowering my standards. I think richness of life…
I think in parts it's about how you relate to other people.
When I was a teenager, I assumed in every disagreement:
* I already know the truth
* The only conceivable reason someone could disagree with me is stupidity
* The goal of a debate is to defend the truth from ignoramuses, and pummel them into submission with superior displays of snarkiness and canned rhetoric
With age, this has morphed in this direction:
* I have opinions that may or may not be true
* If someone holds a strong opinion that disagrees with my experiences, this is fascinating (how could we arrive at such different world views, while living in the same world?)
* The goal of a debate is to examine how they could arrive at a different conclusion to mine and reconcile our disparate experiences
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#54Stand still and ask yourself these questions:
Does anyone care about my opinion?
Will my opinion have any impact on the situation?
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#55Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not too familiar with this paul graham person but I've read a few really good essays from him. What would you say are his top ones?
https://news.ycombinator.com/from?site=paulgraham.com
Also found this after asking: http://www.paulgraham.com/articles.html
I was moreso asking that person which were the best.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#56If it is your area of expertise (actual expertise not “I read a bunch about it”) then I’d expect you to have strong opinions. Linus Torvalds without strong opinions on C would be really weird. If it is not your area of expertise don’t have strong opinions as they’d likely be wrong. This has interesting implications for politics.
This is 80% a very good point; for the other 20%, I think sometimes about how experts in my field will still disagree, vehemently, about stuff in the field, and seemingly show all the same biases -- they're defending territory, they're viciously contesting for status, vs trying to get closer to "the truth" through the scientific method.
No one is immune, so whatever wisdom the OP gains on this quest will still be useful even if s/he attains the ultimate height of expertise on whatever topic.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#571) Truly listen to understand… not to respond. 2) Try not to win through debates (high school debate mentality) but through your actions - how you express your opinions matter 3) Understand that truths are not necessary facts (be willing to change your mind) 4) Your strong opinion about something might be useful delusion to someone else (e.g religion) 5) Strong opinions often come from privilege (knowledge, money …etc) - so check your ego and attachments 6) Try to be a teacher
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#58Had a manager who emphasized the mantra for our team. “Strong opinions, loosely held”. Over time I’ve come to appreciate this more and more. The “loosely held” portion is important for allowing respectful differences of opinion and building a team together. But the “strong opinions” portion is equally important. You should be opinionated and understand why you hold those opinions and be able to defend them. But also…
Very much this. I will have deep opinions, based in as much fact as is available. If new facts are available, I do my best to constantly re-evaluate what those opinions are.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#59The more you read diverse ideas, diverse political views, diverse paradigms, diverse worldviews, diverse literature, the wider your conscience horizon you'll have. That will make it more certain on where to be more or less opinionated and, more importantly, when is worth to express it.
I'm very opinionated in a lot of things that I don't give enough f*ks to really care about other people understanding. Removing them from their ignorance would be so titanic that I prefer to stay humble and go with the flow.
There is a line tho.
If "go with the flow" means to be a slave of peer pressure and corrupt yourself being a price for it, then that's a deal breaker and will require the conscience to reflect and reevaluate on life course and update decisions on things that might lead you to change who will be around you in the future.
The most powerful position is to be able to fire everybody if needed (specially employers) :D
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#60Great question - I've struggled with the opposite, not being opinionated 'enough'. I've noticed I tend to have more faith in other people's convictions than my own, assuming, essentially, if they believe in something, there must be a great reason behind it My own opinions tend to be weakly expressed & weakly held. It's usually been good, allowing me to listen and understand others. However, growing in career, I feel…
> However, growing in career, I feel my opinions not taken as seriously because the perception of their weakness.
Hot tip, if you do have a problem it isn't the strength of your opinions and probably isn't your ability to express them either. Assess the situation to see if one of these 3 things hold:
1) You don't have a lot of experience in the domains in question.
2) The conversation is drifting away from how to reliably make/keep the situation good.
3) Multiple people don't see the things you think are obvious and would benefit from someone stating them - but you're focusing the conversation on things you are uncertain about rather than things you understand well.
Picking a workplace classic, someone really confidently starts advocating that we need to migrate the database from Postgres to NoSQLDb. And who knows? Maybe they're right. If you want the play for an unopinionated person it is to loudly say "wow, this is risky but might have a big payoff!", and get a feel for the boss' appetite for risk. If low, talk up all the problems with NoSQL databases and give him cover to say no, or alternative low-risk strategies to try and fix the problem. If high, start talking about ways to embrace the change while keeping risks low (+ make a friend of the NoSQL guy because you're supporting him).
Bam, everyone is a winner, particularly the dude with no opinion. The trap that was set is trying to take a strong position on something you don't understand. Workplace success comes from making the room better just by being there.