Having and expressing very strong opinions isn't necessarily bad. But it is advantageous to still be open to new viewpoints and ideas ("strong opinions weakly held" etc). You should also strive to be effective at communicating your views while still be able receive feedback and continue to refine the topic with others, and try to ultimately arrive at the ideal outcomes and/or "truth" (and ideally perhaps achieve consensus with the other party around it).. Which part do you have trouble with or want to improve? (it spans lots of topics incl humility, introspection, intelligence, empathy, communication etc.)
Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
31–40 of 118 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#32Remove all external stimuli. Grab yourself a blindfold, ear plugs, and immerse yourself in a sensory deprivation tank. Stop observing your surroundings, and most importantly, stop living and acting like a human being (this is important, and I cannot stress it enough).
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#33Don't care about everything. However, if you care about something, care a lot.
Over the years I've learned not to care too much about things I don't control, I don't know much about, or that I consider an individual choice. On the other hand, about the few things I consider myself an expert in, I care a lot. I have very strong opinions, and I don't hesitate to express them.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#34Ironic question for this forum. Don’t be less opinionated. Lowering your standards is like poisoning your own well. The question should be “how to avoid sounding like an ass?” Opinions aren’t the problem, lack of awareness and sensitivity towards others maybe. There are correct contexts and methods for everything, learning to recognize and adapt to these are imperative for social survival. Having opinions however is…
Some amount also of "pick your battles". If you're viewed as loathing anything that wasn't your idea, people will wonder about your motives. Save it for topics that matter.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#35Having strong options isn't necessarily bad, it's how they're expressed that can be detrimental.
One of (the?) original statements of "strong opinions, weakly held" (https://www.saffo.com/02008/07/26/strong-opinions-weakly-hel...) was to tear apart your own thought process, not express it as fact then expect others to do that for you.
When forming an opinion spending time to think it through personally is a good practice. Be conscious that when expressing it though others may not be coming from a background where they may be comfortable to counter. Just because you speak more or louder than someone else don't let that reinforce your existing stance, or force that to diminish theirs.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#36If it is your area of expertise (actual expertise not “I read a bunch about it”) then I’d expect you to have strong opinions. Linus Torvalds without strong opinions on C would be really weird.
If it is not your area of expertise don’t have strong opinions as they’d likely be wrong.
This has interesting implications for politics.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#37Care less.
This.
They're right you know.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#38Had a manager who emphasized the mantra for our team. “Strong opinions, loosely held”. Over time I’ve come to appreciate this more and more. The “loosely held” portion is important for allowing respectful differences of opinion and building a team together. But the “strong opinions” portion is equally important. You should be opinionated and understand why you hold those opinions and be able to defend them. But also…
This right here.
Be strongly opinionated, but be comfortable with updating that opinion once you have new information.
Updating is the hard skill to master.
You have to be willing to separate ego from ideas and thoughts and be okay saying I was wrong or my idea/thoughts are no longer valid / the most accurate with this new information.
You also have to be willing to be curious and open to new information and counter points that will invalidate or weaken your opinion.
Be opinionated, debate like hell, but once new information is available be willing and okay with changing and updating your view if it makes sense.
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#39Save them for when they really matter. I have opinions about pretty much everything, but quite often nobody needs or wants to hear about them. So I try to say little, abut have strong conviction when I do. That way I find people stop and listen. If I have an opinion which is not strong, I'll get involve din the discussion, but more passively. But yeah, strong expression of strong opinions is saved for when it really matters!
Re: Ask HN: How to be less opinionated?
#40Step 1: Recognize that you are wrong. Everything you think you know is, at best, partial and incomplete. Certainty is a lie.
Step 2: Recognize that other similarly mistaken viewpoints exist. Everyone, everywhere, is wrong about everything to some degree.
Step 3: Recognize that functioning and advancing human civilization requires a bunch of mistaken (typically committed to remaining so) people directly and indirectly cooperating to varying degrees.
Step 4: Develop a sense of perspective. Almost everything that concerns you is wholly irrelevant on almost every other non-local scale.