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On eating out alone

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Re: On eating out alone

#11

Post by jakey_bakey »

trevorishere wrote: post #6

Eating out alone really hurts. It makes you feel that much more _alone_ because nearly everyone else is with their SO, a party, friend, etc. Bringing a phone is only a distraction to get through waiting for the meal to arrive. I dislike it more than being alone at home.

It's interesting the disparity in our experiences. I absolutely relish the chance to have an hour entirely to myself, get a nice meal without cleaning up after, have a beer or two, watch Netflix!

I also used to be a consultant, so there's that...

Re: On eating out alone

#12

Post by [deleted] »

trevorishere wrote: post #6

Eating out alone really hurts. It makes you feel that much more _alone_ because nearly everyone else is with their SO, a party, friend, etc. Bringing a phone is only a distraction to get through waiting for the meal to arrive. I dislike it more than being alone at home.

[deleted]

Re: On eating out alone

#13

Post by VyseofArcadia »

I missed that day in school when they went over how you should be ashamed about doing this or that alone in public. I have some friends who are like the author used to be. Those can't do anything alone types. Absolutely mystifying to me. Heck, a lot of the time I straight up prefer the company of a good book.

Re: On eating out alone

#14

Post by cercatrova »

trevorishere wrote: post #6

Eating out alone really hurts. It makes you feel that much more _alone_ because nearly everyone else is with their SO, a party, friend, etc. Bringing a phone is only a distraction to get through waiting for the meal to arrive. I dislike it more than being alone at home.

Does it hurt because you have the societal expectation that people really care whether you're alone? If so, disabuse yourself of that notion, because it's patently false.

Re: On eating out alone

#15

Post by jakzurr »

spelunker wrote: post #4
browningstreet wrote: post #2

This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that? This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself. I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters…

Years ago when I had much less responsibility and a MoviePass I went to the theater alone regularly. It was great. I could watch whatever I was interested in and didn't have to convince anyone to join me. I saw Alien on the big screen for the first time during a special showing, it was great!

It's true; even if you've seen the film, sometimes watching other's reactions can be pretty entertaining!

Re: On eating out alone

#16

Post by jalino23 »

lol I'm single and I do this all the time, eat alone and watch movies alone, etc and I thought that was normal until I keep hearing people like this who's embarrassed to feel to do those things alone and thinks people who at alone are lonely. now I feel a little insecure eating alone cause I now know what people think about it. sigh I wish I didnt know

Re: On eating out alone

#17

Post by happytoexplain »

c7DJTLrn wrote: post #5
browningstreet wrote: post #2

This person thinks very hard about eating, and being alone while eating. It can also be as simple as eating, seated in a restaurant, by yourself. Why make it more complicated or ritual-worthy than that? This is also one of those things were the "pressures" are self-created. People in restaurants certainly aren't shocked if you go in there by yourself. I wonder if they've discovered the joys of going to movie theaters…

Yeah. If the author is afraid of appearing lonely, one of the most liberating things to realise is that nobody really gives a shit about you. At most, people will glance and exchange a few words upon noticing you before moving on to some other topic. For everyone else you're just part of the background of their life. Everyone is too busy thinking about their own insecurities and experience to think about you, general…

>At most, people will glance and exchange a few words upon noticing you

It's a surprise to me seeing this offered as a comfort, since I think it would be slightly mortifying to most people in the subset you're addressing.

Re: On eating out alone

#18

Post by szundi »

Our animal ancestry makes us social animals. Afaik eating together is special important for us as a species for bonding.

Just fyi, why avoid it when it is so basic and feels good.

Re: On eating out alone

#19

Post by miked85 »

I've known people who have an aversion to doing anything alone in public, even going to the grocery store. It seems to be mostly based on them feeling judged by others.
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